| || || |
Advice on post-college breakup. Struggling to cope with the breakup - Please read/hel
Asked Jan 14, 2011, 07:06 PM
Everyone has their own story so here is mine:
My ex-girlfriend and I met in college, dated for all 4 years until recently. We spent almost everyday together, she was my support and best friend. Like any couple, we had our problems, and I was her first ever relationship. I received a job offer out in Chicago and in Michigan (home) post-college, but I chose to move to Chicago. We both are graduated from college now, and post-college, she moved down south for a few months to stay with her parents until she found a job. In those months, we webcammed and I stayed in the weekends to keep her company since she didn't know anyone.
She then received a job back at the university that we both attended and moved back there. As soon as she moved back, I tried to come back more, but I guess things weren't the same. She's preoccupied in the "college atmosphere" with her friends always being there while I'm more in the real world atmosphere. She just wanted to have fun, since she wasn't single all throughout college. I felt like I was thrown to the curb even though I stayed in on weekends for her when she was down south. Out of sight/out of mind?
I really don't know that many people and was homesick, so I felt like she left me at a time where I needed her support the most. When she broke up with me via webcam, she told me that she loved me, but wasn't in love with me anymore. Those words broke my heart. She told me that I'm a nice guy, but she doesn't want to be with me and wants someone different.
So for a month after the breakup, I did all the desperate things a person would do to try to win her back. Bought her gifts, etc. She took them, but it was temporary happness. Obviously, it didn't win her back. After New Years, she's gradually stopped talking to me, presumely to let me get over her. I read that I should do the no contact policy and there may be a chance that she misses me. However, I feel like this backfires since she's the one initiating the no contact. She's also too busy to really think about me, so I feel like I'll gradually be forgotten.
4 years is a long time, when you spent every moment of your college with them. I really am heartbroken. It's been affecting my work and my life. I haven't given up hope, but I know I need a miracle for her to come back to me, especially with the 4 hour distance. Is there anything I can do to set myself up for her to come back? I know you can't make someone fall back in love. It's been a little more than a month now, and I still am a wreck. I go to the gym, take care of myself, but when I come home, there's that empty feeling. I would really like her back, because I know there won't be another man that'll treat her or care about her as much as I will...and I know that the next guy will have a clean slate and won't have to try as hard to get her.
I stuck at the crossroad with letting go. It's something that I really don't want to do. I know she's the best thing that's happened to me. I really would love to get married one day to her. I've tried to meet new people, but they don't compare to her. I've never met someone that I was so emotionally and physically attracted to.
Is there anything I can do to set myself up for a chance at her coming back? I realize the chances are slim to none, but if there's anything I can do, I'm willing to sacrifice.
| || |
| || |
Apr 25, 2011, 06:15 PM
Help with dealing with Ex-Girlfriend?
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me after a 4 year relationships. We both recently graduated from college. She wanted to be friends but I told her I couldn't be friends since my feelings for her are too strong. After that, she got upset and told me she hated me and to get out of her life forever.
Since we have mutual friends, this makes it really hard. Every single time I visit my old university (she still lives there), she always throws a fit or gets angry. I usually get angry texts and what not. I'm not sure what to do or how to react. Every single time she gets angry, I don't respond to her calls/texts and I ignore her.
I'm not trying to hurt her, I still love her very much. I just don't know what the right thing to do is. I never asked to be broken up with, but why do I feel so crappy about myself. Please help.
| || |
| || |
Apr 25, 2011, 06:28 PM
Be her friend for a little while then flirt with her lightly and ask the big question.the friendship should last a couple month though
| || |
| || |
Apr 25, 2011, 09:37 PM
"My ex-girlfriend broke up with me after a 4 year relationship"
"I told her I couldn't be friends"
"After that, she got upset and told me she hated me and to get out of her life forever."
Says it all. Doesn't it?
Girls want to dump guys & still be friends. Have you give them love while they explore & pursue others. Thinking that's ok with you. Until they have no use, or you wake up.
Helps their guilt & egos.
Screw that, man. That's the worst. Don't be that guy.
I admire that you have the insight to tell her that. She told you, huh? Perfect.
Keep on that path. The one that moves forward, without hate, or her.
I wouldn't talk to her ever again after that statement. Go NC, buddy. The only way.
Your real true friends are your friends. Not hers. Tell them your plan.
She isn't your friend, or will ever be.
| || |
Senior Family & People Expert
| || |
Apr 25, 2011, 10:09 PM
You are a grown man, and can disappear from her life. That's what you do because she dumped you.
Why can't you leave her alone? That mutual friend crap doesn't work as an excuse to have nothing to do with her.
Add your answer here.
Check out some similar questions!
Please help - breakup advice [ 6 Answers ]
I'm 29 years old and my girlfriend of 5 years broke off our engagement of almost 1 year last night as well as ended our entire relationship and I feel downright miserable. I have been crazy about her for all of our relationship and was ready to take it beyond the dating stage. ...
Breakup Advice [ 8 Answers ]
I was with my ex for the better part of four years. She had a child when we got together, and she was coming off of a divorce. She was my first relationship. We broke up after about four months together, but soon after, got back together--she told me she felt I was the love of her life, and even...
Girlfriend 2.5 years College breakup [ 1 Answers ]
I went through the first month of college, not really paying much attention to home, and the people I associate with home. But then I went home for fall recess, and saw my ex-girlfriend, and she had a shield up; she goes to the school in the city, and I am afraid she will get this kind of "busy no...
Songs about a college breakup [ 2 Answers ]
Hi..I just went away to a 4 year top university about two hours away from my home. I was dating a girl that I was in love with we both felt the same. We broke up because the distance was just too much and long distance relationships never work out because people get tired of the other. We decided...
View more Relationships questions Search