my man and i have been to gether for 6 years,in august we seperated and got back together in december. he was dating and so was i . now we work out our minor issues stop dating our rebound friends,and are togther livng together and very happy.yeasterday he recieved a call from the girl he was dating while our 3 month seperation,she said she is pregnat and keeping it she is now 5 months,she was gonna leave and never tell him cause she knows he doesnt love her and that he is with me.she was gonna keep it a secret but was adviced by friends that she should tell him. so now out of the blue our 6 year realtionship has changed. he is expecting a child from her ,and we are both struggling with what to do.she knows anout me and want to moved so she doesnt interfer with us,and is also unhappy cause she loves him.he doesnt want me to leave,he want to be with me,and is in love with me,but knows that this is hard. what should i do? he did'nt cheat we were seperated for the 4 months but together 5 1/2 years prior to that and just recently purchased our first home togther.we have no children together because we was gonna wait until marriage.we are both really depressed.he doesnt want her to take the kid and move,and he doesnt want me to suffer either.,,, help me please....

Homegirl 50

Is he sure this baby is his? How would you feel about him having contact with this child?
I don't understand why she would even tell him about the child if she does not want him in the child's life.
I think you all need to talk about the possibilty of this child being in your life and have a test once the baby is born to make sure it's his.

simoneaugie

You all sound like you want the best for one another. She may ask for child support, deal with that if it happens. If everyone is fair and decent to one another, there is no need for her to move away. If she does move, he could still have visitation with his child.

Feeling depressed and scared? It's a new life growing in her uterus. No one needs to feel guilty. Be happy with the trust and love that you have. Tommorow will happen whether you worry about it or not, so just take it one moment at a time.

cookie25

thank you so much for ur support you dont know how much it mean s to me... thank you god bless i really need someone to talk to and i feel blessed that you have the time to help me in need. thank you


iam feeling all kinds of things,im hurt but im strong . he feels bad that i will have to go through this ,but it only been 2 days since the bomb,no one knows but me ,him and his sister. im angry cause she hid it from him,she has 3 baby fathers ,lol i dont understand why she will do that to herself ,i feel like she did it this way hoping to trap him.but im not going no where i m leaning on god to get us through,but the last 2 days i havent slept or eatin anything im just stuck .today she text him and said her stomach hurt,he was honest and told me what the text said as we were laying down,i told him to call her and make sure everthing was okay. he did the conversation was through text message she had a checkup and the baby was fine.me and him then held eachother and went to sleep.he turned off his phone so we wont be interuted.it was hard to even do that but i cant be that selfish this is a part of his life.im afraid of what my famliy and his will say or think.his sister said that we can make it.i willing to share him with a child but not with another woman,i explained that and he understands and want the same but is scared that it will get too rough and ugy. im trying to be here for him i never seen him so depressed.i think honesty will help us ,the worse part is that he didnt have a choice ,and now everthing is upside down.he told me he feels 50/50 he want me to stay,and the other 50 is he want me to leave cause he loves me so much he doesnt want to see me go crazy,or depressed all the time he want me to be happy. he said he was gonna leave the choice to me......so any more advice.....i feel like u gave me a big hug im so emotionall,but you have made me feel hopefull thank you again.


he want a test to,but he pretty sure he said cause of the timing and he said she not the type to sleep around,but he not taking any chances he stil gonna take the test even though he feels its his. im 24 he is 27 and she is 33 and said she kept it cause she was desperate to have another child she has 2 already from 2 diffrent men now my man will be her 3rd baby father.i dont understand why she would have a child with someone she not with ,she barely knows him 4 months aint ,i been with him 6 years and we still learnig eachother. she is 33 and im shocked how she made this immature choice,but she is not my concern ,my realtionship and my man new package is.......

talaniman

You sound like a sensitive, caring, person, and it would be great if you three adults could work together, to make sure this child is healthy, and happy. The rewards later would be well worth it. Its to late now to go back, and lay blame, and point fingers. All of your futures, are tied together, if this turns out to be his.

cookie25

thank you so much for your advice it means the world to me im trying to get support from somewhere. i willing to make the best of it as long as i can ,with him and i staying strong. and hoping she will be willing to accept the fact that she nor i am going no where.


please anyone i need all the advice i can get......

Altenweg

I agree with everyone else. Just remember one thing, the child is not to blame in this situation, it didn't have a choice, but all of you do. Just stand by your boyfriend and help him through this confusing time, lean on eachother. The babies mother may not be your favorite person right now, but she doesn't seem to be trying to break you two up, in fact she is doing exactly the opposite. Sit down together and decide was is best for you and your boyfriend and her and the child. I wish you all the best. Take care.

cookie25

thank you for your support. she only want to move on cause he is with me ,but if if i was here she would be with him cause she loves him......but im being the best i can right now ,,,god is walking me through us through.thank you again....