Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask

    5 Year Relationship going downhill. Please Help

    Asked Mar 23, 2012, 12:55 AM ó 3 Answers
    Well I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years now, We started dating when we were both 14. For the first maybe 2 years we were on and off cause we both were constantly unfaithful to one another. There was a lot of talking to other people and flirting and stuff but there wasn't any serious cheating like sexually... Then all of a sudden my girlfriend completely changed and she started getting into our relationship, she was all about me and her. But I was still young and dumb and I continued to cheat. After about 3 years together she was beginning to become the best and most trustworthy girl I could ask for, we were like best friends.

    I had another girl on the side that I would mess with every now and then. Anyway I got my girlfriend pregnant and one evening she called while I was with "the other girl" and the other got a hold of the phone without me knowing. Right off the bat I admitted what I did and she was hurt. Since she was pregnant she wanted to keep the baby and stay together. But me still being stuck in my ways convinced her into getting an abortion.. ...

    4 years into the relationship I had quit cheating and we were both good and happy. My girlfriend wanted me to move in but I told her I'd think about it. After 3 months I decided to just move in with her.BUT Here's THE THING, when I moved in with her she began to change and started texting boys and stuff like that, no sexual cheating. Until recently she came to me and told me that had cheated on me and had sex with another guy. I know she doesn't completely trust me because of what I did to her but now its like she's acting the way I used to when she was faithful and vice versa. She told me she will change and she apologized but should I stay or go.. I love her to death and she put up with the things I did to her so I feel like I should do the same for her and just wait for things to get better..

    SHOULD I STAY, OR SHOULD I LEAVE..

    Last edited by talaniman; Mar 23, 2012 at 09:49 PM.
    Search this Thread
    Share |
    3 Answers
    Kahani Punjab's Avatar
    Kahani Punjab Posts: 507, Reputation: 200
    Senior Member
     
    #2

    Mar 23, 2012, 01:42 AM
    Alonzo 117,

    I welcome you to this beautiful site, first!

    Talk with her. That is the key.

    Wait and watch. That is what I suggest.

    See her, her attitude, her behaviour and her acts. That is what will evaporate much of the shade.

    Trust her and trust yourself. That is what I want you to do.

    Good luck! That is what I wish for both of you.
    Helpful (1)
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,513, Reputation: 4591
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Mar 23, 2012, 09:56 AM
    I think you have a very frank discussion about the past, present and future (what you both want) and then decide what happens next. Maybe you can get over your pasts. Maybe you can't.

    I am more concerned that at 19 you have been together for 5 years. I certainly wasn't the same person at 19 that I was at 14. Have you mutually "outgrown" each other?

    Would I blindly trust (either you OR her)? No. Would I have a frank discussion? Yes.

    I post this all the time - I'm an investigator. There are serial cheaters who never stop. There are one-time cheaters who learn a BIG lesson. Only you know which category the two of you are in.
    Helpful (1)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,054, Reputation: 10289
    Senior Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Mar 23, 2012, 09:52 PM


    If you are not willing to put you best foot forward, and make the effort to work hard, to build, thru honest communications then leave, and don't waste her time.
    Helpful (1)

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

What is the average length of a relationship a 23 year old girl an a 32 year old man? [ 4 Answers ]

What is the average length of a relationship a 23 year old girl an a 32 year old man?

I need some outside opinions on my relationship that is going downhill. [ 3 Answers ]

Ok so, as of yesterday my boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We have had a lot of downs, but don't we all. When we first got together, he was great to me, he gave me attention treated me great, was sweet and caring. Well he has changed a lot, and shows no emotion, and seems not to...

Relationship going downhill? [ 21 Answers ]

First off I'd like to apologise if this has been covered before. I've had a look through the forums but haven't seen anything like my situation so far... I've been in a long-distance relationship for just over 3 years now. It's my first serious relationship and it's been great. I've spoken to...

10 year relationship, 2 year marriage. And now he questions what true love is [ 2 Answers ]

Background (it's a long one, too): We are in our mid 20's and have known each other for 10 years. We dated exclusively through high school but without any commitment to marriage. That "in love" blissful feeling lasted for quite some time, well into our college years. He has always been a...

After a 4 year relationship I got tired of my relationship and broke up! What to do? [ 2 Answers ]

Iím a gay guy (36 yo) and I dated for 4 years this BI guy(40 yo), at the beginning it was a bit hard for me, Iím very comfortable with being gay! Came out 8 years ago, any way, at the beginning of the relationship I had to pretend in front of his friends that we were just friends, some times after...


View more questions Search