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Well I have been great with NC havent been trying to contact my ex at all havent spoken to her since August. I have been meeting people online and socializing with people and met this girl. Well the girl is beautiful and I like her but while we were talkin yesterday she told me where she works at MY EX'S JOB! Thats not the best part my ex TRAINED her and they are not BEST FRIENDS but they are kuul. I know the answer i guess but just wanted to get feed back from you guys and some opinions. Me and my ex broke up in June and went NC in August. No cheating or trust issues just kind of got burned out I guess I went through allot in the past year 2 deaths my brother and my best friend who was murdered by my other best friend. Oh and all my pets died this year 2! Well I went to therapy some of you are familiar with my situation. I have been doing great but I am sure u guys would know this has thrown me into a loop. Not just the fact that I like this girl but also the fact that her working with my ex kind of brought up some emotions. She goes well why didnt work out? She is such a nice girl etc... HELP!! lol
I don't believe in coincidence either, but I think looking down the road and making a decision based on facts the choice is so easy. Don't jump into something without a lot of thought, and maybe that was the test. I think you wil be glad you looked before you leaped.
Just a little update guys. #1 I cut off the chick that works at my ex GF's Job. Second the day after christmas I got an email. It was my ex saying Hi. Well I contemplated not responding but figured not a big deal its been 4 months and she broke the NC not me. So I responded and she pursued the convo more and more. The next day she emails me again. Feels like she is trying to get things to where we talk or email every day but I have been reluctant as I am not totally healed from the break up. Any ideas? also Does nebody think this could be a result of the girl at her job talkin? Sayin we spoke on the phone etc..? These are thoughts I have had but wanted to bounce it off other people.
RED FLAG WARNING
I don't believe in coincidences, but females will talk, will pump you for info, and know more about you, and your business than you do. These are facts and you better SHUT UP, and be unavailable.
Scenerio, Exes friends, friend sees you talking to new girl, "Isn't that so&so's ex talking to so&so?"
5 min later ex, is talking to friend, "I saw your ex talking to so&so, are they doing it?
10min later, ex calls you, " Hi, how ya been,..........................................and so on, and so on!
Just my opinion, but why take a chance? Run now!!!!
i def agree. i have a feeling that your ex asked this new chick to talk to you and things of that nature, to find out more info about you. and when you cut the new chick off, your ex decided that she should talk to you now.
Thanks guys I definitley feel what you guys are saying is a possibility I havent really been conversating deeply with her or anything. She just basically asked a couple questions I answered with a couple sentances and left it at that. I do not intend to reach out to her in any way or go out with her or anything. Its been 4 months and now she is trying to act like we have been buddy buddy. I dont want to be bitter either I have no hard feelings torwards her and we went through a whole lot and I respect how she handled the situation. She wanted a break I gave it to her and she asked for NC and she got it. After having the NC I have been able to allow the dust to settle and evaluate properly everything I want and need. I will keep u guys posted as I stated I dont intend to contact her and I am sure she will continue to try to reconnect if she trys to question what I am up too and get more personal it will surely be a turn off for me and I will have to cut her completely.
Being a female and having my fair share of "gossips", may i suggest a few possibilities why i think this is NOT coincidental...
POSSIBILITY #1
It has just been 4 months of NC, your old flame might be itching to know more from u. So she asked her junior to help find out more about u and whether u have moved on. In order to find out, the new gal has to try to make your heart flutter. If she managed, it is a sign that u have moved on. If not, your ex gets the idea that she might have a chance (if that's what she is aiming for).
POSSIBILITY #2
Your new gal admires her senior and obsesses about her success. So she decides to walk in her footsteps, which includes having a boyfriend--that is YOU. She somehow got your contact and pretended to be anonymous to attract your attention. When she finally gets you, maybe she can tell your old flame (her superior) that she is One-up than her.
POSSIBILITY #3
Both gals with the same job and at the same place is attracted to a man who is emotionally down. They could be exchanging notes and telling each other not to feel bad about laying their eyes on the same man. Both could agree and pretend to know nothing about this conspiracy so that you will be happier with a new girl and forget about the past.
Well...whatever the reason, u heard it: "Do not play with fire".
U r already in the progress of recovering from other losses. Do not make yourself available for further emotional injuries.
P.S. With a woman that asked for NC, (possibly scheming behind your back by asking for help from this new gal), and then reconnecting again...try at least 6-9 months NC before letting your guards down.
The girl is nice and cute and all but I would never want to hurt my ex regardless of what we have been through.
Hurt your ex??? Your ex's potential hurt should be the least of your worries. It's your own hurt you're risking if you allow her camel nose under your tent flap again. You did the right thing nipping it in the bud with the new girl, now be strong and maintain NC with the old girl. Whether she engineered the contact with the new girl, or it was just a coincidence (I do believe in them) is irrelevant, really. Leave them both alone and find a world to live in that doesn't intersect with hers.
Hurt your ex??? Your ex's potential hurt should be the least of your worries. It's your own hurt you're risking if you allow her camel nose under your tent flap again. You did the right thing nipping it in the bud with the new girl, now be strong and maintain NC with the old girl. Whether she engineered the contact with the new girl, or it was just a coincidence (I do believe in them) is irrelevant, really. Leave them both alone and find a world to live in that doesn't intersect with hers.
Agree with you about the worry part I dont worry about it but at the same time I feel there is no need to create a headache this is why I chose to leave the other girl alone.
Also I dont know what all this means maybe she wants to rekindle and re-enter my life or maybe she wants to just know whats going on. Do I care? Yes to act like I dont care would be denying my own feelings which I dont think is the right thing to do. I only broke the NC because I felt acting like she wasnt emailing me or ignoring her in my case would be childish. I dont think she did anything besides express her feelings at the time and thought we should take a long break. Which we did and I dont know what is in the future I know i have things that I now see are issues that would need to be addressed first before anything. If she has changed she will try to communicate and reconcile if not then she is doing me a favor. I dont think I am emotionally ready to go out with her or even see her. I want to continue to feel things out and keep them short and sweet. The purpose for my NC was to allow the emotions to settle and get re focused and push myself to the levels I aspire to reach. Which I feel I have begun to do and honestly I dont want her or anybody else to be in the way. IF and this is a HUGE IF me and this girl decided to maintain regular contact etc.. then I am going to make sure that I am ready and that as a friend she would bring things to the table that will enhance my life as I feel I do for her's. She has always been a good friend and as I stated there are no bitter feelings torwards her and I maintained the NC for 4 months. I would of never initiated contact and also emotionally I can handle a couple emails here and there she is not my enemy or somebody who put me through things that I would say violated my trust. I had very tough and trying year and she stood with me until the last month or so. I will see what happens but to close the door of communication just because is not the route I feel is needed. I agree there could be these things going on behind close doors. But I have no interest in figuring it out. I care about her still miss her still but I have my dignity back and I will make sure I do not settle for less then I deserve from her or nebody else.
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