and its killing me, i woke up this morning with this awful feeling inside my stomach, i cant get rid of it.

All i can think about is her and its drivin me crazy. i just want to let her know how much she means to me, that although i didnt realise what i had at the time i sure do now and would give anything for a second chance.

i love her so much and its breaking my heart

bigbird213

I am in a similar situation. I broke up with my (now ex) girlfriend a year ago and I wad devestated. I did the begging, crying, checking up on her friends/family for a few months. I couldn't function. I wasn't getting better until I decided that she wasn't worth it. I got angry, I started to move on.

Lo and behold she came back to me a month or so after I started moving on. We'll we got back together and a year later, we broke up again. The difference - this time it was much easier on me. The lesson I learned - make sure I maintain a life of my own no matter what. When she was gone, I was really upset for a while, but I moved on quick. I still miss her, I still wish she would call me, but I spend a few minutes a few times a day thinking about her, not a few minutes a few times a day NOT thinking about her.

So I think the others are right - you have too much invested in this girl. I learned after my first breakup that i will never give everything I have to one person - with the exception of getting married perhaps.

zooropa1985

ok i guess its only right i tell you guys, i think im suffering from depression, its got so bad that for the first time the other day i started cutting myself. i guess it stems from last year and losing the my first love then finding another girl and her dumping me too, in exactly the same way.

I just feel alone sometimes and want someone to talk to that would understand. Today for the first time i told my family about it and they want me to see a dr, which im doing.

Just thought it would maybe make you understand me a little better

chuff

I'm glad to see you are seeing a doctor. One of the themes I've noticed about you over the last year and half or so is you put the girl above.....WAY ABOVE yourself. This is never the case. She is not the most important person in your life. You are. With both girls you've seemed to pedastal them and allow them to define you.

Another issue you have is one that I share, I'm a highly emotional male and it can certainly come back to bite us as women generally don't like emotional guys and then use our emotions against us. Trust me, I'm coming off one that did just that to me.....and I have to admit that I started to allow it which only made it worse.

I'm not sure how long I was on NC but she saw me yesterday and said with a big smile and much enthusiam...."HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO" I just said "what's up" and walked on. Today she was following me and tried to get my attention when my cell phone rang. She then sat down until I finished and I just walked off not even acknowledging her. My point is when it gets hard...when you really want to stop and say hello and find out what's going on, you have to dig a little deeper and tell her through ACTIONS, not empty words, that you are tougher and better then she gave you credit for. Zoo you have to start telling yourself that you are tougher and better then YOU give yourself credit for. You can not let a woman...any woman....or any man or anyone else define who you are. In others words you don't need to destroy yourself over a girl or a person. You make mistakes, you have emotions, you feel pain. So do I. So does everybody. What you go through is not unique so you don't have to be ashamed of it.

I also wanted to address something you stated about feeling alone. Take note, you have found a place where you may not know people in a traditional setting but it is a place where you are not alone and also gives you the opportunity to grow in a positive fashion.

mattyamaha_27

I would say I am a little more emotional than the average male. And I too also put my ex on a very high pedestal. I tried to make my schedule around hers, and generally she had all the power in the relationship. Granted it was not all bad, and I would go back to her in a heartbeat today. But after reading other peoples threads, over time they learn to see that what they had wasnt so great. My friends have been there for me and I have been in contact with some that I havent seen recently. Life will go on for all of us.

blackmage

pssh mine wouldn't contact me so i confronted her in person made everything and our situation 100 times worse now she wants nothing to do with me said in a year maybe shell call its destroying me but what can i do

nickshehe

I almost made the same mistake in the beginning of the break up blackmage..After she dumped me on the phone I got up and got dressed and had the intention of walking around london to find where she was out..hah..I feel like such a loser now :P
Anyway, good thing I didn't go I probably would've still been looking..I missed my dinner that night though

zooropa1985, chuff is right..I totally relate to your position of "knowing whats to come in the future" .. the loneliness and depression thats associated with losing someone you love..Thats the second thing that hit me after I got dumped...The first was losing her..the second was..
"..I know what happens next..I spend atleast the next year miserable, like what happened last time.."..Well with that sort of thinking then you probably will..But I came to these forums, got some insight..and I followed their advice..By the third day I was going out to clubs and bars with my friends..I came home and felt MISERABLE..but those 4-5 hours I was with my friends I was a lot better..By the second week I slept with a girl..It was no strings attatched type..Obviously I enjoyed it..Next day my ex was STILL in my head..But that was alright because thats how things go..You're not going to wake up one day and be ok..You just think about things less and less..
Last time I saw her was 2 months ago.
I haven't spoken to her in 36 days.
She still pops in my head on a daily basis..but I don't cry now..I haven't cried in a long time..I just SIGH..and I giggle to my self and think.."why'd she have to screw it up?"..and I just shrug and stop thinking about it.

chuff

Exactly. Your brain will give you exactly what you expect. While you can not knock those feelings away quickly if you tell yourself you are going to be miserable for a period of time you brain will follow.

Exactly. This is her loss. One of the things I love is working out because when I do that time is mine. What I do benefits me. Now I quit working out for awhile with her and because of work and now I've started back up again. When I am working out she has popped up and I can tell you that all I do is look in the mirror and smile or sometimes laugh because I think to myself "even you can't take this from me." Now working out may not be your thing but something is, something that defines just you and do that. Do that daily. Like Nick stated you will be laughing at her dumb and thinking "why'd she screw this up" in no time.

lillygreen

aw i know exactly how u feel... u wake up and your lying there and suddenly this horrible feeling comes over u, that they are gone i wish i could tell u something to make u feel better but all i can say is hope you both work it out!!

Jiser

SQUAT don't DROP guys and girls!

On a different note. Don't worry I will force you to keep NC with both of them zoo! I wont be on MSN for a while but do yourself a favour NC all the way. Until our next sesh, keep busy.

ladieedee21

I think you should move onn...you knoww...she doesntt wantt you..
yourr justt going to waste your timee gettinq her..and its not even working??
i guess not..soo movee on ...and you'll find someone who will love you..and who actually wantt 2 call you everydaiyy...