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1st months of no contact - terrible but you CAN do that!
So it's been a months of no contact... Kind of update here
Ok, good news for freshmen) - pain really lessens with time. Mind is becoming much clearer and you can see from this point that
1. it's basically over
2. it's over for a reason
3. anything you do or think won't reverse things - it's just your personal reality. You can be very successful persuading yourself of how much you may change to make things work again. Eventually, you relise that you are speaking to yourself, there is no one else listening ))
So once you realise that, you have to accept it. I think this is what i've done. Once you've accepted that, it somehow relieves pain and strain, and moves your focus away from that single person... Of course there are recurring thoughts, but they don't make that painful response as they used to.
From this point on you may feel that it's a beginning of a "creative period" - good time for writing, composing, drawing... ideas just keep coming from nowhere. I personally discovered that putting another overwhelming attack into a poem or new track helps best and in two ways - you re-interpret what happened (new point of view) + you feel proud of yourself for a nice piece of art ))))
Again and again, those who just sit home drowning in sorrow not knowing what to do - please go out, meet people, walk out into nature (This Sunday I went to the forest despite -20*C here - such a lovely pine grove covered with snow)....
LOVE yourself!!
i'm right next door to month 3, and i gotta tell ya dude, i remember month one. My coping mechanism involved waking up next to chicks i didn't know and wondering what country i was in, but it got me through. Now i wake up next to chicks i do know, knowing full well what country i'm in! The progress is just immeasurable! Hope for the best for you.
i'm right next door to month 3, and i gotta tell ya dude, i remember month one. My coping mechanism involved waking up next to chicks i didn't know and wondering what country i was in, but it got me through. Now i wake up next to chicks i do know, knowing full well what country i'm in! The progress is just immeasurable! Hope for the best for you.
Im glad your making progress and having fun and i too have been where your at, but sometimes it is a good idea to wake up alone and not wonder where we are. Thats when you make the most progress. Sure have fun and be single, not denying that at all, but dont use the chicks as way to hide from reality!!!
i'm right next door to month 3, and i gotta tell ya dude, i remember month one. My coping mechanism involved waking up next to chicks i didn't know and wondering what country i was in, but it got me through. Now i wake up next to chicks i do know, knowing full well what country i'm in! The progress is just immeasurable! Hope for the best for you.
That's exactly what I was up to)) As an emotional person in nature, I remember walking the street and not knowing who I am, who these people are, where the damn I am))
I figure it's crucial to accept what happened... It is also important not to bottle up your feelings, mb cry though boys don't cry ))
Of course again all you guys have been of real help, god knows what I might have done without venting it out here). Good day for everyone!!!
PS by the way ForeverZero, what does it mean "chicks"? English isn't my native language))
Location: Now hailing from St. Petersburg, Florida US of A, North America, planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy.
Posts: 2,275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses
PS by the way ForeverZero, what does it mean "chicks"? English isn't my native language))
LOL. I never thought of that but I suppose that would sound funny to someone that doesn't speak English (or maybe even just North American English, as I don't know if the term is used in the UK or Austrailia) but chicks is a term for girls. It can be used for a group like "look at those chicks over there" or to describe your girlfriend, "my chick and I are going out for a drink."
Anyways I just wanted to say great post as well. I really like it when posters keep us updated because it feels like it wasn't a wasted effort and hopefully we helped teach and learn something at the same time.
Yeah i did the no contact thing for a month too. But i can't stop thinking what if i did this or that. I just felt like there was so much unfinished business for my self. So yesterday i called him, only to be responded by him coldly. I realize that he has completely moved on, and i should do the same. I basically just wanted to let everything out of my chest, so i wrote him an email saying things i wish i did, but didn't do.
Now i'm ready to move on again. Restart my no contact thing. I hope i feel like how you feel in a month.
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