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    Courtney_17's Avatar
    Courtney_17 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 30, 2006, 12:13 AM
    Why am I not pregnant?
    :confused:

    Hi

    My name is Courtney I'm 17 years old and have a boyfriend that is 20 and we have been together over a year now and I want to know why I am not pregnant... I have an irregular period,we don't use contraception as we were both responsible enough to get tested for anything and we both came up clear... He ''cums'' in me all the time but am I not pregnant is it because of an irregular period or could it be his sperm? I do have sex straight afer my period, when I do get it, but I am still not pregnant... can someone tell me why and if I can get clomid at my age??
    Tommyp!972's Avatar
    Tommyp!972 Posts: 300, Reputation: 36
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    #2

    Jul 30, 2006, 01:10 AM
    congratulations on having an urge to be a mom but think about ALL aspects of your life and the dads life before you go any further... how they will change... and oh yes... they WILL CHANGE

    do both of you want a child?
    do you both have an decent income?
    are you financially secure to do the following
    here some things that I hope you thought of

    doctor visits when pregnant and not married=$$$$$(don't rely on the system to help you through fully)
    a car to go back and forth to work=$$$$$
    gas for car=$$$
    insurance for car=$$$

    then as you progress you will be eating more=$$$
    your going to need bigger clothes=$$$
    more doctor visits=$$$

    while this is all happening I hope you are stocking up on diapers=$$$$$$$
    formula if you decide to go that route=$$$$$$$$$
    breast pump and bottles if you go the natural way=$$$$$$
    a crib=$$$$$$$$$
    blankets=$$$
    car seat=$$$
    baby clothes=$$$

    then more doctor visits=$$$$$
    more tests and vaccines=$$$$$


    you will develop mood swings towards others

    then I hope you considered the cost of having the baby in the hospital=$$$$$
    the baby visits to the doctor afterwards=$$$$$
    the vaccines for the baby=$$$$$$
    your doctor visits=$$$$$
    the gas to go to all these visits and time taken from friends and family if you can't do it or your boyfriend can't take you=$$$$

    you'll be good for a few months till the tike decides he/she wants to crawl
    then you need to baby proof some spots in the house=$$$

    I'm not saying having a baby is wrong or right at your age but look at the $$$$ involved... make sure you know EXACTLY what your getting into


    nothing is more cruel ,in this world ,that I can think of than bringing in a new life and not being able to care properly for him/her

    I see couples who are in their 20's making $30k/yr combined still have problems making ends meet

    because they never took into account the financial aspect of having a baby

    and even if you say have enough... the emotional aspect of having a baby is a lot to handle

    its not easy being a mom and dad so young
    my parents were young and 18 and had 2 kids by the time they were 20
    they had 2 jobs each to foot the bills

    we(sis and me) were bounced to family and friends to be babysitted as mom and dad were working to try and pay the bills and keep food on the table and pay the mortgage or rent and car payment

    my mom and dad worked so hard for so little
    they had nothing
    they sacrificed everything they had just so us kids could be OK
    I wouldn't wish that on anyone

    so please before you 2 decide on trying for a baby again think.. please think about what I wrote...

    don't rely on the system and don't expect your friends and family to ALWAYS be there... there WILL be times that they can't



    some people might disagree with me and say money isn't everything as long as they have family to support and give them everything they will be fine...
    I say "what world do you live in?"


    ps.look around at other couples as young as you and see what they are going through... im betting its not as easy as you might think
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #3

    Jul 30, 2006, 01:44 AM
    You should be doing this at the right times. Meaning depending on your cycle. Most women are only fertile 3 days in each month. Irregular cycle does have something to do with. Technique, positions. You should be waiting for your most fertile days. Those three days in the month. It is all about timing. Maybe your not getting pregnant because it is not the right time right now. Doing it all the time does not garuntee anything. Doing more around your fertile time could help. If your still concerned about it both you and your boyfriend should see a doctor. Most doctors will wait until you have been trying for a baby for 2 years or more. Then they will check both partners out for problems with sperm and eggs.

    After the act lift your legs and just do that for about 20 minutes. Do not always get up right away from bed after.




    Joe
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #4

    Jul 30, 2006, 08:21 AM
    Wow, I REALLY LOVE the answer Tommy gave, he forgot the cost of toys, which is extravagant... But in all that was perfect.

    The answer Joe gave was very good too. If you are having sex right after your period you will not get pregnant at all. You only have approx 3 fertile days per month and you are not at all fertile after your period because the unfertalized egg was shed during your period.

    I also want to know why at 17 you think it is okay to have a baby.

    You realize that when this baby comes and all your friends are out partying you will have to be sitting at home with a baby that may be colicky, crying, screaming, and totally inconsolable. Then you get to listen to your friends and what a great and fun night they had at the club.

    Having a baby means giving up your life, your entire life. I had my first at 22 and, looking back, I was not ready for that. I still had some life to live that I never got to live. I missed out on so much.

    Oh, yeah, did Tommy mention daycare prices? You will need daycare unless the father makes a boatload of money. Daycare ranges from $90 - $300 per week.
    fed up's Avatar
    fed up Posts: 91, Reputation: 6
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    #5

    Jul 30, 2006, 06:15 PM
    You haven't mentioned about your education. Have you finished high school? What about your boyfriend? How do you intend to support a child? What if it is multiple birth? Are you prepared for that? You said that you want to know if fertility drugs are available to you at 17. I seriously hope not. Any responsible doctor would be asking you and your boyfriend all the questions mentioned in all the previous posts. Please seek out guidance before you and your boyfriend go any further. I didn't hear anything about marriage first.
    Kayz's Avatar
    Kayz Posts: 6, Reputation: 0
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    #6

    Aug 1, 2006, 10:34 PM
    Yeah what everybody is saying is true I'm 17 years old myself and I have a boyfriend he's 19 going into bizness and even from today he is styll making his money but we are being smart about it and waiting until we have everything ready for us and we know we have the time to take care of a baby but you should think about all that they are saying if you don't want to then hey that's your choice and you have the right to make it but people that are saying all this are not qwite answering your question the reason why you are probably not pregnant is because you probably had a std before for a good amount of time and got rid of it but they say if you had gonaria or clomidia for a good minute then you cannot have baby's again and there might be something that you are not telling us fully so we can't really answer your question it is personal but if you want a reall straight good answer then you got to say what's Good yaa know
    momincali's Avatar
    momincali Posts: 641, Reputation: 242
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    #7

    Aug 1, 2006, 10:46 PM
    I agree with all the posts here, you guys are far too young to commit to another innocent life, dependent on you for everything, for at least the next 18 years. What's the rush??

    Since Chlamydia is an STD, yes its possible for you to have contracted it even though you are only 17. Get tested as soon as possible, it can cause infertility or PID.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #8

    Aug 2, 2006, 03:31 AM
    I don't mean to preach at all.
    Why you are not getting pregnant I don't know! Although J_9 gave a valid answer.

    Please Courtney read all the above posts and think about your whole life ahead of you! At 17, you are so young. You should be wanting to enjoy your young life with your boyfriend, with no commitments and worry. That can come at a later stage.
    Thomas1970's Avatar
    Thomas1970 Posts: 856, Reputation: 131
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    #9

    Aug 2, 2006, 04:30 AM
    I agree with all the other posts. Please do consider this carefully. 17 is a very young age to have a child.
    Something I would suggest, if you were open to it. Have you considered, after reaching an eligible age, possibly taking a foster child into your home for a time, assuming you had the space? At least here in the US, you would be alloted a reasonable monthly sum to help care for the child's expenses.
    There are drawbacks to this solution too. It is always best to plan to adopt eventually in these situations, and many do come from very troubled homes. But there are children out there already in need of love. And any time spent with a family that cares for them is probably better than time spent in an institution of some sort. At the very least, you would have some idea of just how ready your are, and you wouldn't have to bear the full burden of the child's many financial needs.
    Back in my early twenties, me and three older housemates took such a child into our house for a while due to something of an emergency situation, and we found it to be a very rewarding experience. Though ultimately he had very difficult emotional needs, that after a point, we simply could no longer adequately meet. There are indeed many things to consider in caring for a child.
    butterscotch913's Avatar
    butterscotch913 Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #10

    Apr 21, 2008, 07:56 PM
    Yes, some may think you are too young but age is just a number (to an extent). I believe when God is ready to Bless you with a child he will do so until then you have to count your blessings and hope for the best.

    My husband and I too are trying very hard to become pregnant (hopefully soon because he's leaving for Iraq in less than a month) but we realize that the more we want a child and the harder we fight for one the less likely we will get one. If you just let things happen then they will.

    Other than that if you believe you have a problem of any kind you should get checked out to make sure that if you do become pregnant you will not risk harming your child. And going in to see a doctor could determine why you aren't becoming pregnant. Many reasons could be a result such as: under weight, over weight, smoking, alcohol, thyroid problems, stress etc etc. Don't forget you prenatal vitamins before, during, and after pregnancy. Vitamins are important for both you and your baby. Your baby needs them to develop properly.

    Just take it one day at a time. Be strong and God Bless!
    jessy0428's Avatar
    jessy0428 Posts: 99, Reputation: 2
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    #11

    Apr 22, 2008, 07:13 AM
    I am not going to tell you what you should and should not do. But I will say that I had my little girl when I was 17 and it is very very hard. Just make sure you are prepared and so he is. As for not getting pregnant. My boyfriend(now husband) and I were together 2 years before I ever got pregnant and we were not trying.We had sex everyday ,sometimes a couple times a day.Its not something that is going to happen as soon as you lay down. So people try for years and years before they ever get pregnant , it just takes time. Don't hush it and don't stress over it. If its meant to happen it will. As for the Clomid I am pretty sure you can NOT get it at your age being that you not even considered legal yet . And most doctors will agree your not old enough to have a baby. But I wish you the best .
    Pepperlust's Avatar
    Pepperlust Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Mar 6, 2010, 01:07 AM
    I am 17 years old and had my first fling (unpretected), I am SCARED TO DEATH! And can't see why a young woman my age woud even try to have a baby. Sure, their amazing, but they require a lot of TLC and $$$$. I work my week away and save up every penny I have ever earned, but I know that still won't be enough if I am pregnant. It was a terribly irresponsible move on my part, and I hope my future child, if there is one inside me, won't have to pay for it in the long run.
    I might have to get a second job ontop of my 38hr week if in case I have concived... I won't see the kid ever.
    P.S. he may say he is there for you... but once the kid factor has become a possible outcome.. he might not stick around.

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