My fiance and I have been trying to have a baby since Aug. 2008 and we've had no luck. I've tried having sex during my monthly menstral cycle, I've tried waiting a few days in between, doing it more than once in a day, waited for ovulation time, I went on a vitamin diet, I've even stood on my head afterwards. I've tried every old trick in the book and we still haven't conceived. Is there someone who wouldn't care to give me some kind of suggestion or advice on helpping us get pregnant? As a soon to be wife this is a nightmare because kids are all we've ever wanted and I wouldn't have much else to give him. Anyone who can help us out will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Wondergirl

God is probably waiting for you to think better of yourself than believing "I wouldn't have much else to give him." Are you trying to trap him into marriage? That's what it sounds like.

Stop trying so hard. Couples have found in the past that, once they stop thinking "baby" and start enjoying each other, pregnancy happens.

DoulaLC

I certainly hope there is more to your relationship than the prospect of having children. Certainly they can be an important part of a marriage for many people, but to say you would not have much else to give him shows a tremendous lack of self worth. I hope that isn't the case and you are just saying that out of frustration!

There may be nothing wrong and it is just going to be a matter of time. Many couples fine it takes a year or so to become pregnant. Unless you were older, most doctors aren't even concerned until you have been trying for at least a year. If you haven't determined when you are most likely to ovulate just yet, and the ovulation calendars online just give you a starting point, that would be the first step. If you can, maybe consider having sex every 2-3 days throughout each cycle and a few more sessions the week leading up to when you think you are likely to ovulate. Timing is just part of it, so that is partly why it can take a fair amount of time for some couples.

As Wondergirl said, try your best not to stress over it. Enjoy your time together as a couple, if, after several more months you still have not become pregnant, then you may want to see your doctor. You could always check with them now to discuss what you have been trying so far and gain some more suggestions.

Universon

Hey I like this answer! I really just want to emphasize it. A friend of mine could not have pregnant for more than year and a half. And then it happened. So, just stop worrying about it, relax, enjoy the life till you're still young, and you'll see the big change for you.

Blushingbride

Thank you for helping us out we do appreciate it. I must clear something up though to everyone. No kids is not all that we want but it is our next step in life as a mutual agreement. It's not to trap either into marriage we know this is what we want. I've had alot of health problems my whole life and my docotor at age 15 wanted me to have a histerectomy. I have adhesions, ovarian cysts, did have interneal bleeding, etc... same old issues. We want children bad before they have to take out my female organs which we're trying everything we can but we need help in doing so. I at least want to carry one child and give birth to it before I die and we won't take "sorry you can't have kids" as an answer. I may be young and I may need to live life more but I'm ready to be a mother and that's one privilege I don't want to miss out on. So please don't take me wrong because all we want is to be parents.

J_9

Actually, your next step in life as a mutual agreement is marriage. Get married first. Get to know each other as husband and wife. believe me, this will make a difference in your relationship.

Having a baby should be secondary to being husband and wife. It's easier, and cheaper, now for him to walk out and leave you as a single mother. children change your life forever. Make sure you have that piece of paper that bonds you for life before you consider having children.

Children are hard, children are expensive. When the going gets tough, the weak walk away. If you don't have that marriage license, what is keeping him when the baby is colicky, when the medical bills become exorbitant.

You don't want to raise a child alone do you?

What makes you think you are going to die?

DoulaLC

I'd recommend a preconception visit with your doctor. Since you have some gynecological history, it might be wise, if you haven't already, to discuss whether or not any of it might play a role in your becoming pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy.
Depending on your situation, your doctor may decide to do some inital testing sooner then later for both you and your husband.
Since you have been actively trying, I would guess you have already determined the various ways to see if your body is preparing to ovulate. Again, sometimes time is all that is necessary.
Hope you don't have to wait too much longer!

ang8318

I agree with everyone. Just relax. Quit trying, that has always seemed to work for me. I always try to keep track of when my cycles are, so I know about when to try, but we never stressed about it, we just had sex. I am now 24 weeks pregnant with my second child. Good luck to you, and I hope your luck gets better.

Blushingbride

Thanks for your answers everyone. I'm now 5 and a half months pregnant. When my doctor found out he was shocked because he didn't think I could have any. My fiance was so excited when I told him and he hasn't missed any appointments. I'm thrilled that I'll finally be a mother. I'm having a boy, A.J. Thomas, and he's due Jan. 30th!!

LearningAsIGo

Congrats! You're due just after I am