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Hi, Im 20 yrs old and my fiance and I desperatley want to have a baby. I was pregnant about 5 mos. ago but I let my mother pressure me into abortion. I have very irregular periods. My last period was Mar. 1 but it only lasted about 4 days (usually my periods are about 7) When is the right time to conceive? What are some helpful techniques?
Sorry but there is no such thing as letting somebody pressure you into doing something you do not want to do. You had an abortion, what makes you think it will be any different now when you get pregnant. I think you should stop being so desperate and wait for a few years when you're more mature.
I disagree with Joe; you can very much be pressured into doing something that you don't want to do, especially in regards to a pregnancy. If that weren't so, then why are there so many birthparents that are coerced into adoption?
That aside--I think you might be looking to have a child for the wrong reasons. I highly suggest going to see a counselor for help dealing with your abortion (ESPECIALLY if what you say is true and you were pressured into it) and then talk to a family planner about what it will take to have a child and care for one properly. They would be able to explain your fertile days and techniques for trying for pregnancy, though I don't think you are quite ready for one yet.
I honestly think that you're feeling sad and guilty about your abortion, and wish to replace that child with another---and that won't work.
Joe does make a good point with the family situation--if it has only been 5 months, what has changed that will make your family any more accepting of a baby now? And let's be clear here--at 20, you probably do not make enough BY YOURSELF to support a child. You will need help from your family.
No matter how much your boyfriend loves you--a baby changes everything. How is he going to feel when you're too tired to make dinner, too tired to go out, can't find a babysitter, you need a break from the baby, there's no WAY you're in the mood for sex, and you can't afford McDonald's, much less a doctor? Are you SURE he will stick by you?
I'm 32, married, and want a baby in our lives as well....but there's no way I would even begin to want to try it without family support!
Being a parent is not something to go into lightly. Take it from me I was 21 when I was pregnant and I didn't expect motherhood to be this hard. You can't just one day decide that you don't want to take care of the baby. Or even take a break when you want to . When you have a child, your life is revolved around what that child needs and wants.
having a baby isint all smiles and cute little clothes, its HARD work, and they dont stay babys forever they grow up and want money rides and i dont think many young parents realize that. I just had a friend whos 16 have a baby she loves her but its hard hard hard work. You had the aborition and it sounds like your letting your mom take the blame, but you were 20 your a big girl you made that decision. Dont rush again your only 20....
You are 20 years old, and shouldn't allow ANYONE to preasure you into doing anything, ESPECIALLY with the life of your child. This happened only 5 months ago, why will it be so different this time around?
I Know What It Means To Take Care Of A Baby...im Not A Lil Kid...me And My Fiance Have Our Own Apt Living On Our On Doing Our Thing...and Peer Pressure Is A ...i Know Why She Told Me Not To Have The Baby But I Should Have Listened To My Heart...im An Adult Who Is Able To Take Care Of My Responsibilities And My Man Knows How To Be Sensitive To When Im Tired Or Too Sick To Do Something...my Man Aint Going Nowhere...dont Forget I Was Pregnant For Two Months And Sick Every Second Of Everyday And He Held Me Down So Thats Not The Issue...my Fiance And I Do Nothing But Grind...we Both Have To Jobs And He Also Has A Child From A Previous Relationship That He Takes Care So We Both Are Able...thanks For The Comments
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