So emotional and need to vent!

automansgirl · #1 Mar 28, 2007, 07:50 PM

I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my raging hormones, but I feel so depressed. DH and I have been having money problems lately. His exwife is selling their house (which we want) but the problem is that we are responsible for the second mortgage. The house has depreciated greatly since they purchased it 11 years ago. Well, the house sold, and we officially owe $25,800! We don't have it! We can't come up with it. My dh has had so much stuff he had to pay for in the recent past due to the divorce that is has really messed up his credit so we can't get a loan. We have paid off a lot of stuff and improved his credit so far by 77 points, but it still isn't enough. Our debt to income ratio is only 11%, so affording a loan isn't the problem. Now I just feel like there's nothing we can do. We've been worrying about this since before I got pregnant, so I feel like the pregnancy has been a little on the back burner, even though we are both ecstatic about it. I just feel so worthless. I can't do anything to help the money situation because I don't work. I feel like crying all the time! I'm angry at my husband but I don't want to be. I've prayed about it, yet I still feel like we're getting nowhere. It seems as though everytime we are faced with a big problem it is about money and each time the amount increases significantly. I'm sure we will come out of this just fine, as we have won our battles before. I just can't seem to stay positive about this one. I feel myself getting more mad each second, and I don't want to be like that. We don't fight about the money, ever. I just feel so angry and depressed about it. My dh knows how I feel, but it still doesn't fix things. I don't know what to do. Sorry this was so long winded, I just really needed to vent to someone other than my husband. Thanks for listening (reading).

th13rteenyears · Mar 28, 2007, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by automansgirl

I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my raging hormones, but I feel so depressed. DH and I have been having money problems lately. His exwife is selling their house (which we want) but the problem is that we are responsible for the second mortgage. The house has depreciated greatly since they purchased it 11 years ago. Well, the house sold, and we officially owe $25,800! We don't have it! We can't come up with it. My dh has had so much stuff he had to pay for in the recent past due to the divorce that is has really messed up his credit so we can't get a loan. We have paid off a lot of stuff and improved his credit so far by 77 points, but it still isn't enough. Our debt to income ratio is only 11%, so affording a loan isn't the problem. Now I just feel like there's nothing we can do. We've been worrying about this since before I got pregnant, so I feel like the pregnancy has been a little on the back burner, even though we are both ecstatic about it. I just feel so worthless. I can't do anything to help the money situation because I don't work. I feel like crying all the time! I'm angry at my husband but I don't want to be. I've prayed about it, yet I still feel like we're getting nowhere. It seems as though everytime we are faced with a big problem it is about money and each time the amount increases significantly. I'm sure we will come out of this just fine, as we have won our battles before. I just can't seem to stay positive about this one. I feel myself getting more mad each second, and I don't want to be like that. We don't fight about the money, ever. I just feel so angry and depressed about it. My dh knows how I feel, but it still doesn't fix things. I don't know what to do. Sorry this was so long winded, I just really needed to vent to someone other than my husband. Thanks for listening (reading).

Hello,
I just read your "vent" and I see your having money troubles,its the american way! Sorry, I do feel for you cause I've been thru a similar situation. I am a stay at home dad with 3 children and two different moms. I have been out of work for almost 2 1/2 years. But I met this man at my daughters preschool christmas party. He has been a great mentor to me and has got me into an at home way to make a little extra money...I know your thinking SCAM! I did when I first talked to him, but I now know Mark on a very good personal level, not only was I able to get a lead on the new things in the 21st century but it helpedgreatley with my elf confidence and being able to approach complete stangers. See now I know that every one whos out there looking for something is just like me, good people having hard times! Hang in there, you guys will do ok but if your interested in trying to create a long term goal or make yourself some money to get by like myself you could get back to me and I could send you his e-mail adress. Just a thought to try to get your head up. Good luck with the pregnancy, and take care.
th13rteenyears

buggage · Mar 29, 2007, 08:33 AM

At times like this, these hormones can just really be a pain in the butt, can't they? hah. But at the same time, I have come to realize, that while some of the outbursts might be irrational, some of them are really helping you to let the inner emotions you would normally stock up and push into a corner and try to hide, its a way of releasing those pent up emotions. I think that our bodies understand how much stress can harm us, and in every day life we tend to hide these emotions away, trying to ignore them, or atleast put them away to deal with later. but in pregnancy if can cause deeper problems.and I think our bodies sense this, and so the hormones serve a purpose of making us release those emotions that we would rather not release hah. In so doing, a good cry and sometimes yelling out our frustrations really helps. it may make you feel like a total dork, and nuisance, but I think its really for our own good, and makes us face those dark corners. When you are pregnant, you really are more vulnerable and sensitive to things, and it also helps our men see how helpless we feel, and it helps them to be a little more in touch with the way we feel. In most cases (if approached in the right way) it releases their own instincts to shelter and protect us(which is what every guy wants to be able to do for the girl he loves. and when hard times like this hit, he feels less able to do his job to protect you, and almost useless.)it can help to strengthen your relationship, if it is used in the right way. As far as the money problems go, I haven't gone through the same situation, but we have definitely had our fair share of money problems, and scares. There have been times that we just didnt know where the money was going to come from, and your life just feels like it is spinning out of control, and you cant show certain aspects of your life the attention that they need and deserve. I'm afraid all you can do is pray, and strive to persevere. I dont work either, I stay home with my 2 year old, and there are times I feel so useless because I dont go out and work. but my husband loves the fact that I stay home, and that I take care of our most important treasure. our son. instead of having someone else raise him. while the weight can be hard on his shoulders to carry at times, he loves the fact that he is able to go out and do what he can for his family, and bring in the money for us. he takes pride in the good work he does, and the pride that his wife and kids hold for him. And if you keep it up, and just do the best you can, which is all anyone can do, then everything will work out. Keep a prayer in your heart, and your chin up. if you give up hope, everything will fall apart. you just gotta keep going. and in the end, it will make you stronger people, and a stronger family. be strong sweety, you have my prayers, and I hope all works out for you soon.

Rockabilly1955mama · Mar 29, 2007, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buggage

At times like this, these hormones can just really be a pain in the butt, can't they? hah. But at the same time, I have come to realize, that while some of the outbursts might be irrational, some of them are really helping you to let the inner emotions you would normally stock up and push into a corner and try to hide, its a way of releasing those pent up emotions. I think that our bodies understand how much stress can harm us, and in every day life we tend to hide these emotions away, trying to ignore them, or atleast put them away to deal with later. but in pregnancy if can cause deeper problems.and I think our bodies sense this, and so the hormones serve a purpose of making us release those emotions that we would rather not release hah. In so doing, a good cry and sometimes yelling out our frustrations really helps. it may make you feel like a total dork, and nuisance, but I think its really for our own good, and makes us face those dark corners. When you are pregnant, you really are more vulnerable and sensitive to things, and it also helps our men see how helpless we feel, and it helps them to be a little more in touch with the way we feel. In most cases (if approached in the right way) it releases their own instincts to shelter and protect us(which is what every guy wants to be able to do for the girl he loves. and when hard times like this hit, he feels less able to do his job to protect you, and almost useless.)it can help to strengthen your relationship, if it is used in the right way. As far as the money problems go, I haven't gone through the same situation, but we have definitely had our fair share of money problems, and scares. There have been times that we just didnt know where the money was going to come from, and your life just feels like it is spinning out of control, and you cant show certain aspects of your life the attention that they need and deserve. I'm afraid all you can do is pray, and strive to persevere. I dont work either, I stay home with my 2 year old, and there are times I feel so useless because I dont go out and work. but my husband loves the fact that I stay home, and that I take care of our most important treasure. our son. instead of having someone else raise him. while the weight can be hard on his shoulders to carry at times, he loves the fact that he is able to go out and do what he can for his family, and bring in the money for us. he takes pride in the good work he does, and the pride that his wife and kids hold for him. And if you keep it up, and just do the best you can, which is all anyone can do, then everything will work out. Keep a prayer in your heart, and your chin up. if you give up hope, everything will fall apart. you just gotta keep going. and in the end, it will make you stronger people, and a stronger family. be strong sweety, you have my prayers, and I hope all works out for you soon.

I agree. Stay strong sweetie, and the best of luck.

automansgirl · Mar 29, 2007, 10:20 AM

Thanks so much for the encouragement. It helps so much. I will be glad when this financial mess is done and over with any way it happens. I really appreciate your responses. I don't feel quite so alone. At least I will get to see my family again next weekend.

brianneelizabeth · Mar 29, 2007, 11:37 AM

i understand where you are coming from my sons father is not in his life and ive been doing it all on my own with no job because i cant afford daycare services and now that im pregnant again i worry the same thing will happen again even though i know my bf now would never leave his child... we now have a big struggle because he has 3 roomates and the house he just bought isnt big enough to have two kids me and at least 2 of his roomates (they are his bestfriends ) and where i live housing is at a ridiculus high. i know everything will work out for you and your hubby im living proof that you dont need alot of money to live a very happy life

once again good luck

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by automansgirl

I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my raging hormones, but I feel so depressed. DH and I have been having money problems lately. His exwife is selling their house (which we want) but the problem is that we are responsible for the second mortgage. The house has depreciated greatly since they purchased it 11 years ago. Well, the house sold, and we officially owe $25,800! We don't have it! We can't come up with it. My dh has had so much stuff he had to pay for in the recent past due to the divorce that is has really messed up his credit so we can't get a loan. We have paid off a lot of stuff and improved his credit so far by 77 points, but it still isn't enough. Our debt to income ratio is only 11%, so affording a loan isn't the problem. Now I just feel like there's nothing we can do. We've been worrying about this since before I got pregnant, so I feel like the pregnancy has been a little on the back burner, even though we are both ecstatic about it. I just feel so worthless. I can't do anything to help the money situation because I don't work. I feel like crying all the time! I'm angry at my husband but I don't want to be. I've prayed about it, yet I still feel like we're getting nowhere. It seems as though everytime we are faced with a big problem it is about money and each time the amount increases significantly. I'm sure we will come out of this just fine, as we have won our battles before. I just can't seem to stay positive about this one. I feel myself getting more mad each second, and I don't want to be like that. We don't fight about the money, ever. I just feel so angry and depressed about it. My dh knows how I feel, but it still doesn't fix things. I don't know what to do. Sorry this was so long winded, I just really needed to vent to someone other than my husband. Thanks for listening (reading).

i know that u are angry but try your best not to be .alot of stress and anger can cause miscarriages i am sure that you and your husband will work every thing out just try and take it easy on yourself



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