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sams721 · Dec 17, 2008, 07:27 AM

OK this question for all the woman men feel free to give advice too but I mostly want woman that are married or about to be married ladies would you agree before two people get married that it would be appropriate to ask your boyfriend/girlfriend to get a lie detector test for the both of you before the both of you get married

HistorianChick · Dec 17, 2008, 07:31 AM

What? Why? Don't you trust your significant other? By "making" them get a lie detector test you are saying that you don't trust their answers - or them.

Nope.

starbuck8 · Dec 17, 2008, 07:39 AM

Absolutely NOT! If you are married, or are starting a marriage with a lie detector test, you have got more problems than you realize!

sams721 · Dec 17, 2008, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by HistorianChick

What?? Why? Don't you trust your significant other? By "making" them get a lie detector test you are saying that you don't trust their answers - or them.

Nope.

No no you misunderstood the question would you agree that 2 people that are about to get married both the man and the woman (both ) get a lie detector test bofore they get married

HistorianChick · Dec 17, 2008, 07:42 AM

No... there is no point if you have mutual trust.

Introducing the concept of lie detectors damages the mutual trust.

Still nope.

talaniman · Dec 17, 2008, 07:45 AM

If you need a lie detector, you don't need them!!

kctiger · Dec 17, 2008, 07:48 AM

You sound like you are Greg's father in law from "Meet the Fockers." You, know, the ex CIA guy that doesn't trust anyone. If you cannot trust each other without a lie detector, then you probably shouldn't be getting married. Just my opinion.

J_9 · Dec 17, 2008, 07:50 AM

As a married woman of 17 years, no I don't agree that both parties should get a lie detector test. Trust is a must in a relationship. Asking for lie detector tests clearly shows a lack of trust. If my husband asked me to take a lie detector test prior to our marriage, with the understanding he would take one too, I would have told him to hit the road and never look back.

Romefalls19 · Dec 17, 2008, 07:54 AM

No, I don't agree with this at all. Most people get married after knowing their S/O for at least a year. So you are telling me, that after a year of "trusting" them with your heart you are then going to risk it all by asking them to take a lie detector? Man, if I did that my fiancé would kick me where the sun don't shine.

I can picture the conversation now.

Rome: Honey, I know we're about to get married and I've known you for a few years. Well, I would like you to get a lie detector test.
Rome's girl: ::Kicks Rome in the b@lls:: There, did you detect that!

I'll take "Trusting my spouse for $500" Alec

sams721 · Dec 17, 2008, 08:00 AM

OK to be honest I thought that's what everyone would say but with this woman she is pregnant with my child but deep down I question that because of other issues so what should I do so I can get my piece of my mind I don't know what to do cause it messing my mind up but thank you for all for your help and you all got a point it just keeps tearing at my mind

kctiger · Dec 17, 2008, 08:01 AM

Clearly you have some issues to work on with her. I wouldn't get married until these issues are resolved. A paternity test perhaps... you can't expect to live happily ever after with her if this is your foundation to build on.

starbuck8 · Dec 17, 2008, 08:12 AM

I don't think you are ready to get married yet. It will almost certainly end up in divorce if you marry her with these concerns on your mind. I would get some marital counselling before even considering walking down the aisle, or the marriage will be over before it even began.

sams721 · Dec 17, 2008, 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Clearly you have some issues to work on with her. I wouldn't get married until these issues are resolved. A maternity test perhaps...you can't expect to live happily ever after with her if this is your foundation to build on.

That's tru but how would I ask for a maternity test I mean wouldn't a woman get offended with that question as well

mzron08 · Dec 17, 2008, 08:14 AM

I would'nt feel right asking my fiancé or boyfriend to take a lie detector test unless he's done something to make me think he's lying about something and if that were so were not ready to get married because I would'nt won't to go into a marriage with those type of doubts

J_9 · Dec 17, 2008, 08:15 AM

You ask for a PATERNITY test, not a maternity test. Sure, she's going to get upset, but it's the rest of your life you are talking about. If you believe there is a possibility of this child not being yours, even a remote possibility, it is your responsibility to make sure this child is yours before paying out the ear for child support.

starbuck8 · Dec 17, 2008, 08:16 AM

I believe you both mean a paternity test. If you get married and then ask for a paternity test afterwards, before getting relationship counseling, you may as well just save up your money now, and either be prepared to pay child support, or go on that honeymoon by yourself with the money you've saved, if it turns out not to be your child.

N0help4u · Dec 17, 2008, 08:17 AM

That really shows a lack of trust and love. If you have to resort to a lie detector test then you might as well just break up!
If it is a question of your fathering a baby then YES go for a paternity test. You should not have to be responsible to pay for a baby for 18+ yrs that may not be yours.

asking · Dec 17, 2008, 08:22 AM

I don't get it. When it was a lie detector test (famously unreliable, by the way), everybody was against it. But now that it's a paternity test that tests the woman's fidelity, everybody here is all for it.

Is trust important or not? Why is trust out the window in this situation?
He doesn't trust her. Period. He shouldn't marry her.

I absolutely wouldn't not marry a man who asked for a paternity test.

They should not get married.

If he's not the father, he won't have to pay child support. I'm guessing he is the father and will have to pay. But that's life.

Romefalls19 · Dec 17, 2008, 08:28 AM

Asking, if he signs the birth certificate then he is acknowledging that he is the father and will have to pay child support until he goes to court, and then gets a paternity test to prove he isn't the father. That's a whole legal mess and will cost a lot of money and he might not even get the child support he paid back.

I already agree he shouldn't get married, if you read his other post he is very unsure about her fidelity as it is, and now that she is pregnant, it's only going to complicate things further. This whole relationship is flawed beyond, what I can see, any hope of continuing healthy.

N0help4u · Dec 17, 2008, 08:28 AM

Because if the baby is not his why should he have to pay child support for 18 years or more?
He signs the birth certificate... she dumps him or visa versa and HE is STILL stuck having to pay for a baby that isn't even his. Even if it is not his some states still make you keep paying simply because you signed the birth certificate.