I am a twenty year old woman desperatly trying for a child. I know I am young but I have a stable home, stable job, with a loving partner and more than enough money so please do not advise me of being too young. The problem is that I have been trying for around four months and nothing, I am slightly overweight but not alot, I eat semi-healthily, but have changed my routines, everytime i see a baby, i literally cry. I find myself feeling extremely jelous, is this normal?

J_9

It is rather normal.

However, you have only been trying for 4 months. It takes the AVERAGE person 6 months to a year of trying before they conceive.

The stress you are describing can also alter your hormones and cause conception to be rather hard. Stress is a major factor in conception.

When was your last GYN appointment? Has your doctor given you a clean bill of health?

5tumble_n_fall

I have never had an appointment, maybe the best thing to do would be to visit my doctor?

J_9

Okay, first things first. I am going to quote you here.


If you were not so young, and yes, 20 is young (in numbers at least), then you would know that you need to see a gynecologist once a year once you begin having sex to make sure that your reproductive organs are healthy. You need a yearly PAP smear to make sure you are okay.

I had my first child at 22, we were married, and we were stable. About 6 months into it I had no idea how hard a baby was.

Stable home, job, and loving partner really have very little to do with whether or not you are ready for a child.

If you are already crying when you see babies, maybe you should wait a while. Goodness knows that the hormones in pregnancy and post-partum are going to make things worse than they are now.

But, yes, get all your ducks in a row. Make an appointment to get your female physical done before you even begin trying. Then talk to the doctor, be open, honest, and ASK QUESTIONS. Do not leave the doctors unless all of your questions are answered. That is what you pay him for.

nikki_vy

Four months may seem long to you since you desperately want to have a child. My last baby, it took me 18 months before I learned that I was pregnant. My advice to you is to visit teh website babycenter.com ............. It will help you with you ovaluation cycle and when is the best time to try. However, did you have a full physical with a normal pap and your pcp gave you the okay to start trying......

Good Luck
Nikki

J_9

Nikki, she has never been to the doc regarding this. I suggested she visit a GYN to make sure that she was reproductively healthy before even beginning to try to get pregnant.

DJ 'H'

just because you are 20yrs and would like a baby does not mean you are ready. I am 22yrs about to give birth to a daughter in 6weeks time, my situation at the time was far from ideal - but I know in mind, body & soul that I am ready to be a mum and content with what I have done & achieved with my life. When I was 20yrs, there is no way I would have been able to contend with a baby - yes I was healthy, yes I had enough money and yes I was happy - but there is no way I was ready then to put my life on hold to become a Mum - sounds selfish but a couple of years makes an awful difference to your outlook on life and the way you look at things.

I chose to become a Mum for all the right reasons. Being happoy, having health & plenty of money were not the factors thast made my decision - you really need to think things over a bit better and look deep within yourself and ask 'Am I really ready to be a Mum' - 'Am I content with everything I have done in my life' - will there be anything I regret or resent?' - I have a couple of friends who had kids and 19 & 20 who regret becoming a mum so young that they plam their kids off of anyone they can so they can go out and do what they want. That could be you if you have not really thought this through?!

I am not trying to patronise you - just pointing out that sometimes we think we know it all when perhaps we don't!

5tumble_n_fall

Can i just point out that i asked not to be advised, I KNOW that I am ready, that is not the point i am trying to make here, i am trying to gain fertility advise

J_9

Then go to the doctor. As I said you need to have all your ducks in a row before becoming pregnant. And, since you have never even done that we doubt that you are ready.

Just so you know.... the doc will do your physical, but may not advise you about fertility since you are not yet married and this is a moral issue.

DJ 'H'

Please Please do not think I am patronising you - I am just trying to point out like J_9 that having a baby is huge step and life changing.

... Have you worked out the days of the month you ovulate?