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I'm 14 and pregnant and I want to move out but my parents won't let me. What do I do?

Asked Mar 27, 2012, 04:36 PM — 65 Answers
I'm 14 and I'm 5 months pregnant I'm having a little boy my parents say they are going to make me get an abortion but I don't want to. My boyfriends mom says I can move in and she will support us, my parents won't let me what can I do.?

65 Answers
J_9's Avatar
J_9 Posts: 37,074, Reputation: 25680
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#31

Mar 29, 2012, 05:53 AM


Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
This is off topic and will probably get pulled BUT I don't get much of a chance to say "thanks" to Nurses everywhere. I've posted this before - it was the Nurses who made the difference when my late husband was so ill. They answered questions and cared for him and cared about him and propped me up on more than one occasion.

The Doctors wore their expensive shoes and drifted in and out, looking vague and troubled.

It's the Nurses who kept that hospital going - and I think it's probably like that everywhere!

So - thanks to J9 and all of the Nurses out there who are like her.
It won't get pulled if I have anything to do with it Judy. Thank you for your thanks, but that is just what we do, we don't expect thanks or gratitude, we do this because it is our passion to help others just as I am trying to help this girl.

She doesn't realize the time and expense that a baby is going to bring. She may have "raised" herself or some siblings, but that is a totally different animal than raising a newborn. It's like comparing apples to oranges.

While I commend her for wanting to take responsibility for her predicament, it is not in the best interest of the baby at hand.
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alkalineangel's Avatar
alkalineangel Posts: 2,401, Reputation: 1657
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#32

Mar 29, 2012, 06:36 AM
I just want to tell the OP that I became pregnant with my first child at 19 years old, with a boy I had dated for 3 years. Even at 19, and a highschool degree, this was terribly difficult. Even with our parents support and both of us working. We got married so our insurance would be better, and because we thought the baby would make our love grow. We struggled with bills, we struggled with having enough to eat, and because we could not afford daycare, worked opposite shifts. This meant that one of us was always alone with the baby for 1/2 of the day, and working for the other 1/2. To top it off, our son suffered with Reflux and GERD and also had a hernia. He screamed for 2-3 hours straight each night, even with medicine and then threw up for the rest of the time. eventually we had to have surgery to repair his hernia. Our medical bills were through the roof. We never went out, we never ate out, we didn't have cable tvs or cell phones, we used the internet at the library, our friends moved on and did their own things. Years later,when our first son was 7, we divorced, because we realized that we weren't those 19 year old kids anymore, we were nothing alike, and we were never going to make something work that never should've worked to begin with. I don't regret my son, and even though I have risen up and finished college and bettered myself, it was the hardest struggle I have ever had. I am 29 now, and JUST NOW are things starting to ease up for me. I just wanted you to know that things never go like you think they will, and since you're under 18 things will be harder. The chances of you and your boyfriend remaining together are slim (not saying you wont, just saying the odds are against you) Just make sure you think things through well. Good luck to you
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LisaDee's Avatar
LisaDee Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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#33

Jul 15, 2012, 04:39 PM
Excuse me but I myself are fourteen and pregnant and have decided to keep this child. I fully understand that i will never have the life 'every teenager' apparently dreams of. Though i will be happy knowing that i have created a new life. I also know that having to raise a child aint no luxury. Not every underage pregnant girl is that foolish. Dont judge everyone on one idiots mistake.
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JudyKayTee's Avatar
JudyKayTee Posts: 45,483, Reputation: 23573
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#34

Jul 15, 2012, 05:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaDee View Post
Excuse me but I myself are fourteen and pregnant and have decided to keep this child. I fully understand that i will never have the life 'every teenager' apparently dreams of. Though i will be happy knowing that i have created a new life. I also know that having to raise a child aint no luxury. Not every underage pregnant girl is that foolish. Dont judge everyone on one idiots mistake.

How are you intending to support this child? Good that you are happy to create a new life. Which foolish idiot are you referencing?
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Alty's Avatar
Alty Posts: 22,697, Reputation: 26680
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#35

Jul 15, 2012, 05:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaDee View Post
Excuse me but I myself are fourteen and pregnant and have decided to keep this child. I fully understand that i will never have the life 'every teenager' apparently dreams of. Though i will be happy knowing that i have created a new life. I also know that having to raise a child aint no luxury. Not every underage pregnant girl is that foolish. Dont judge everyone on one idiots mistake.
I'm sorry, but I have to ask, how are you going to raise this child? Where I live the only place you're old enough to work at is McDonalds. So how are you going to support this child? By support I mean putting a roof over it's head, food on the table, clothes on it's back, doctor visits, etc. etc. etc. Doubt you can afford that even if you do get a job at McDonalds working 80 hours a week.

Being on welfare, or letting your parents pay to raise your child, is not being a parent, and it's not being responsible. So please, enlighten me, who's paying for this child, taxpayers? If so, then you do have the luxurious part of the deal, since I'm working so you can "bring a new life" into this world.
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JudyKayTee's Avatar
JudyKayTee Posts: 45,483, Reputation: 23573
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#36

Jul 15, 2012, 06:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alty View Post
I'm sorry, but I have to ask, how are you going to raise this child? Where I live the only place you're old enough to work at is McDonalds. So how are you going to support this child? By support I mean putting a roof over it's head, food on the table, clothes on it's back, doctor visits, etc. etc. etc. Doubt you can afford that even if you do get a job at McDonalds working 80 hours a week.

Being on welfare, or letting your parents pay to raise your child, is not being a parent, and it's not being responsible. So please, enlighten me, who's paying for this child, taxpayers? If so, then you do have the luxurious part of the deal, since I'm working so you can "bring a new life" into this world.
She already knows it ain't no luxury - whatever that means.
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Alty's Avatar
Alty Posts: 22,697, Reputation: 26680
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#37

Jul 15, 2012, 07:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
She already knows it ain't no luxury - whatever that means.
I think it means that we get to work 40 hours a week so that part of our paycheque can go to supporting her and her child. But, she will have to actually take care of the baby, at least while her mother isn't there to help her, or when the father doesn't have visitation every second weekend.

Just makes me want to scream. Babies having babies. They have no idea! None at all. Pregnancy is the easy part. It takes more than knowing "it ain't no luxury" to be a parent. Sadly the only one that's going to suffer is this unborn child. I weep for the future.

Where did society go wrong? That's what I'd like to know. Was teen pregnancy always this big a problem and we just didn't know about it before the internet, or is technology, and teen parenting, part of the problem with today's teens? Is it lack of education, or just plain stupidity? Who's raising these teens to think that being a mom at 14 is cool?

I can only say that at almost 14 my son has no desire to parent a child. Thank Dog! Then again, I wouldn't allow it, and yes, I do think that the parents of these children allow way too much, like dating, and too much time out of their supervision. The parents are partly to blame, in my opinion.
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Fr_Chuck's Avatar
Fr_Chuck Posts: 72,627, Reputation: 37036
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#38

Jul 15, 2012, 07:47 PM


Quote:
Originally Posted by Alty View Post
I think it means that we get to work 40 hours a week so that part of our paycheque can go to supporting her and her child. But, she will have to actually take care of the baby, at least while her mother isn't there to help her, or when the father doesn't have visitation every second weekend.

Just makes me want to scream. Babies having babies. They have no idea! None at all. Pregnancy is the easy part. It takes more than knowing "it ain't no luxury" to be a parent. Sadly the only one that's going to suffer is this unborn child. I weep for the future.

Where did society go wrong? That's what I'd like to know. Was teen pregnancy always this big a problem and we just didn't know about it before the internet, or is technology, and teen parenting, part of the problem with today's teens? Is it lack of education, or just plain stupidity? Who's raising these teens to think that being a mom at 14 is cool?

I can only say that at almost 14 my son has no desire to parent a child. Thank Dog! Then again, I wouldn't allow it, and yes, I do think that the parents of these children allow way too much, like dating, and too much time out of their supervision. The parents are partly to blame, in my opinion.

actually she can drop the kid off at a day care center where your tax money pays for the child to be looked after while she either goes back to school or gets a job. I do martial arts at a center that does almost nothing but that. Then they get them into pre K programs paid by our tax money for free education. Not to say the free health care under medicaid for mother and child,
I could keep going but I am seeing if my passport is in order to move.
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Alty's Avatar
Alty Posts: 22,697, Reputation: 26680
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#39

Jul 15, 2012, 08:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
actually she can drop the kid off at a day care center where your tax money pays for the child to be looked after while she either goes back to school or gets a job. I do martial arts at a center that does almost nothing but that. Then they get them into pre K programs paid by our tax money for free education. Not to say the free health care under medicaid for mother and child,
I could keep going but I am seeing if my passport is in order to move.
So we all work our butts off while they continue their education, other people look after their children, they get free medical which the taxpayers pay for? Ya, that seems fair (sarcasm).

No wonder so many teens are getting pregnant, it's a free ride in a fancy car that someone else is paying for. Makes me mad. If we want to end teen pregnancy then don't give them anything. Make them work for it, like the rest of us do. Make them live in cardboard boxes on the streets if they can't afford a home, make them dig through trash cans for moldy food if they can't afford to put food on the table, make them wear the same clothes week after week. Maybe then they'll finally realize that being a 14 year old mother isn't as much fun as they think it will be when society finally says they've had enough and will no longer give that support.

A new life my arse! That new life is doomed to become just like the mom!
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Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,416, Reputation: 24188
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#40

Jul 15, 2012, 08:13 PM


All should be rendered sterile until five years after marriage vows are taken.
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