I have a delivery question. I am having my 3rd baby in April. I am a very shy person when it comes to the delivery room. And a very firm beleiver that only my husband and doctors and nurses should be in the room. This is my husbands first child, and he isn't one for the blood and all. So he is afraid that he won't make it threw the delivery. Every time he say's this around a friend of ours, she pipes up and say's "I already know I'll be the one in there helping!". And has stated over and over how she wants to be in the room. How do i kindly tell her that she isn't welcome in the delivery room? Or do i leave it to the nurses at the time?

pluckyflamingo

Either way you are in a Catch 22. She may be understanding or she may not. Also it depends on how the hospital restrictons because they may not allow her in there. But if you dont feel comfortable letting her know then you can just do it the nurse way

nwsflash

I think if this person is a good friend of your families then they should not take issue if you are honest and state your point to them clear, you need to have a good talk with this other person and set the record straight and tell them you do not wan't them in the room with you !

As for your husband i'm sure that he will hold up and be ok with the birth. Good luck with everything, hope everything turns good for you.

J_9

First, you can try and explain to her that since the baby was conceived in private with you and your husband, you would like the birth to be just as special and, though you thank her for her offer, you feel more comfortable not having any other family or friends present.

Then, while in the hospital, make use of the nurses. That is what they are there for. Let them know of your feelings and when the blessed time gets near they will surely usher everyone but your hubby out of the room. If you choose not to have anyone in the room for the entire labor, then let the nurses know upon arrival. Believe me they deal with this all the time. And good luck to you.

buggage

I was in a bit of the same predicament with my mother in law. Since my family was all the way across the country, she kept offering to stay in the delivery room with me and my husband. I did not at all feel comfortable with my mother in law, or anyone other then the doctors and my hubby, being in the room. I politely told her that I would prefer that it was just Jeff and the doctors, as it was easier to concentrate on the beauty and wonder of the birth of my child, if the room wasnt full of people. To me, if she was in there, there would be a sense of urgency and expectancy, her waiting to see the baby, and a feeling of being rushed. Plus I didnt want anyone to see my baby, and try to hold him before my hubby and I had a chance to privately bond with him. Its a special moment that should be private to just the two of you, if you wish. In my child birth class, the nurses let us know that if we wanted to allow family to be in there in the beginning, but when the labor got too intense, or the family too annoying to be in there haha, that we should just ask them for a glass of orange juice. This was their code word for " please clear everyone out of the room" They would then step in, and tell the family that it was time for them to leave until after the baby was born. That way the family wasnt insulted, and you didnt have to deal with it. ;0) I loved that idea.

buggage

ps. I think your husband will be fine in the delivery room. my husband was a little worried about the same thing, but when the time came, he was so concentrated on helping me through it to the goal, that he did just fine. He just concentrated on me, and didnt watch the actual laboring process down below too often.;0) when the time comes, he will be more concerned for you and the baby, then the blood. And there ususally isnt gushes of blood everywhere anyways.

nwsflash

I agree, when my first child was born I was out of my mind about what I would see and what would be going on etc, but when the time came something just kicks in and makes everything ok. . . I do have to be honest my legs didn't stop shacking for age, but I think that was down to the adrenaline rush of my first child being born, it is something that I would not have missed for all the world, and i'm pleased we had a really nice, helpful midwife that even got me taking part cutting the cord etc.

tinkerbell77

I had a heart to heart with my friend this weekend. I just explained that this is a special moment and I would enjoy her being at the hospital, but NOT in the room. Cause that is a private moment for me and my husband. And that in the event that my husband doesn't make it threw, I would rather it just be me and the docs. She was still pushy and insisted she wouldn't look. But that isn't my point at all. I just don't want any one in the room becuase I feel it's a private moment. So does any one know if the nurses are good about escorting everyone out of the room and making sure everyone stay's out???? I guess i'll ask my doc at the next appointment.
I had both my other children at a base hospital and no family or friends lived in the area at the time. So we didn't have this issue.

kholloway

the nurses know that what ever the woman in labor says, goes. if you want someone out, they will make sure they get out and stay out. if the preson gets pushy about staying, the nurse will tell them that they can get out, or they will call security.

buggage

nurses are usually pretty good about it. You just have to make sure that you tell them ahead of time, so they know what your preferences are. You can always give the nurses a code word that will signal them that you want them to have everyone leave. (like my orange juice suggestion) And you can always wait to even let your friend and other family members etc. know that you are in labor until after you are already there, or even already delivered. she really cant be upset at you for not letting her know ahead of time, as you and hubby will obviously have more important things on your mind. ;0)You can just let her know that you appreciate her friendship, but her being pushy about this important event in your lives is really stressing you out, and you just need her to respect your wishes.