My name is yasmine i have been wanting a baby since i was 14 some say i should wait but i don't want to i want some thing to call mine i want to give a baby the world what should i do i think i'm ready physically and emotionally

kp2171

my mother was 16 when she had me. father was 17.

while she'll tell you she would not change a thing... it is a huge responsibility and lifelong effort.

you have something to call your own. it is the present and the future. id encourage you to live a little and put off thinking a child will complete you for now. get an education. get established in a life as an adult. if you really want a child, these are the things that can help make your life and your childs life better.

my wife was 21 when she had a daughter. again, she wouldnt go back to change it, but shed be the first to tell you how hard it was as a single mother... and shed tell you what shed tell our daughter, now 20...

be patient. your time will come, but it doesnt need to be now.

JimmyJim

I say get a dog.
If you can handle looking after that properly (and only you will know if you are or not) then get about 10 more dogs and see if you can manage that. If you can go have a baby.

Myth

Let me just add this... could you deal with twins or triplets? It is one of the hardest things in this world to care for just one child. To care for two or even three... heaven forbid.... is nearly impossible for grown adults and your still not an adult. I have my twins and if I had to do this the first time around I couldn't have done it. Do you know how many eggs your body releases at any given month? Can you control how many children you would have. I couldn't.... I have four children now. I suggest you rethink your needs here. You need to have fun and learn a little more about the world, because you are the first teacher to your child. How much do you think that child will be able to learn from you if you don't know about it yourself.

MummaCrash

I worry about a few things. Not that I'm one to talk, I am a 19yro Mother.

*Would an Obstetrician/Midwife tell you that your body, taking your age into account, would be able to deliver a baby without having a high percentage risk of complications?
There is so much to look at that is a worry, pre-eclampsia, hemorrhaging etc.

*Are you in a relationship with a man?
There's no other way obviously, IVF is not an option.

*You should take both of the parents into account.

*Do you think it's fair on the father to watch a young Mother carry his baby with so many risks involved.

*Do you think it's fair on him when he might want to go to college and devote his life to education or a career first so he can be prepared financially and mentally for a planned pregnancy, etc.
Being physically prepared doesn't really make sense to me because obviously his body is able to conceive at such a young age. Sperm doesn't care about who's the Mumma, they just want to compete in the race to the egg.

*Do you think it's fair on yourself to spend the rest of your adolescence caring for a baby, going through 9 months of emotional mood swings, anguish when giving birth comes around, risk of trauma, risk of ripping from your vaginal entry to your anas? Bleeding to death?

*Breastfeeding can hurt just as much as giving birth especially because mastitis is so common and cracked nipples are just as painful as a having an internal examination during 10 second apart contractions.

*Do you worry financially about how your baby will survive on 'who's' income?

*Do you worry about lack of support, being held under cruel subjugation you might possibly endure repugnant vies from not only the law but your friends and family?


All of this was running through my mind when I was pregnant.
I still worry but I try my best to look at how well we've achieved.
I've never spoke of this before but I lost Chloe's twin during the pregnancy. It's incredibly heartbreaking but I don't like to talk about it but I always wonder what it would be like to raise twins, I better stop talking before I get too emotional.

I know I wouldn't have gotten so far without the support and love from my partner and family.

babieface85

Something to think about- A baby is not yours as much as you are his's/her's. You give and give to a baby and he/she does not say thank you.
I worry about you developing postpartum depression. A person can not be happy with someone else (baby) until that person is happy as an individual. The baby can not fill your insecurities if any thing they will worsen because you will face more difficulties. You can not relay on an innocent baby to make your life more gratifying .
I am not saying that you are not ready for a baby (I know young girls who have become pregnant and rose to the occasion); I am saying that a baby will not be what you seem to need him/her to be for you.
Remember wanting a baby is normal and you should not feel ashamed. I commend you for your honesty about your desire. You are a wise girl to seek advice to help you though your struggle.
Consider getting on the BC shot, it last 3 months so you are less likely to stop taking on a whim when you desire for a baby gets to strong.

alkalineangel

I wouldnt suggest the shot to anyone personally, but You are a little too young for a baby. You have so much ahead of you. I dont want to scare you, but so many people just think of the cute little baby and nothing else, but pregnancy, esp in young age, has its risks. (dont get me wrong, I was a young mother, got pregnant at 19 and had him at 20..) I have a good friend who went in this past Saturday for a caesarean because she had developed Preeclampsia and Toxemia. the baby wasnt due until August. She delivered the baby, a healthy boy 1lbs, 15oz, but she went unconsious during the surgery and has yet to wake up. They think she suffered a stroke from a combination of the preeclampsia, toxemia, and an unknown pre-existing heart problem. She has yet to see her son yet, and is now on a ventilator, and is having daily dialysis because her kidneys were failing. her brain is also swelling. All Im saying is she was young (23), got pregnant on her first sexual interaction, and now may not live to see her son. There is risk in every pregnancy, but esp if you are young. 15-16 year old girls are not yet built to carry babies... please, reconsider these thoughts, you have plenty of time for children.

Myth

There is only one thing that I disagree with babyface on. It's the shot. I hate that thing and with some people it can really affect their health. Alot of women on this board have had bad experiences with it. I have actually shrunk an inch and then some and I gained 75lbs when I was on it. So some research about birth control before you jump into one. Ask about it on here and you will definitely get some feed back about it.

alkalineangel

yes, i said that as well, the shot messed my body up for several months...and I only had one dose. In fact I cant be on any birth control now and we arent sure if is because of the shot, or because of the last pregnancy...but I got horrible occular migraines, where i actually physically lost sight briefly.

klinus1997

WAIT.... You will have the hardest life ever. I was 20 years old when I had my daughter and the 1st 7 years I had to work 3 jobs to support us. I have finally gotten to the top of my industry and almost have a Bachelors degree. I will be 32 when I get it. Don't you want to be able to take care of your child financially? Do you want your childs life to be hard? Get a cat or a dog...

endlessecho

I understand what you are saying but this is what you need to think of. When you have kids, you want to be able to give them the whole world! You want to be able to buy them the best things, give them the best care, and spend all your time with them, loveing them and taking care of them, but at 16 you can not do that. Wiat until you have meet the man you wanna marry (and you should probably go ahead and marry him first. lol) then then try to have a baby. That way you are finacially and spiritally ready , as well as emotionally and physically ready. Then you really can give your baby the world, you and his/her daddy!