[jumpedoutthe car]

Well I need to let some things off my chest. I have been in a relationship for over 4 years with the same individual whom we will call (Tito). I just recently moved into an apt with him. Prior to that we have been living together since the inception of our relationship in 2003. Well this morning (6 a.m.) we got into a heated argument over is his inability to accurately read a metro card. Long story short as I was taking him to the Bart station he decided to jump out of my car to which he laid on the ground for a while. I rushed over to him as I began to dial 911. He then got up and walked off. I tried to persuade him to get into my vehicle. I attempted this 5 times. He did not even look my way? What's the next step. His actions really upset, scared, and frustrated me because this is someone who I thought I could spend the rest of my life with, but How can I be with someone who is willing to injure themselves when they can't handle the pressure of an argument.?

P.S. I also do not want to give up on my relationship.? Trust me I am tempted to do so

Lost in San Fran

:(

[talaniman]

This may be a preview of things to come, so if you like the drama and hassle this is for you, but if you have any sense you should take a second look.

[phillysteakandcheese]

It's really quite simple. You choose to either play his games or you don't.

And make no mistake - It's a game of manipulation, guilt, and control.

I undersatnd that you don't want to give up a four year investment. But I also think you shouldn't get involved in his games.

Clearly - He needs to see a counsellor and get some coaching on how to deal with life's problems.

If he's willing to work on himself and address this behaviour, perhaps you have something you can work with. If he's not, it's like Talaniman says above - you can look forward to ever increasing escalation of these games.

[Wildcat21]

This guy has a lot of growing up to do. How completely imature. Senseless.

And you're with this guy why??

I agree - you like the drama. If you like drama, go take acting lessons.

I think an act like that is a complete deal breaker and says it all.

ONE question though, and it's important, do you nag him? Are you ALWAYS on his case? Do you support him?

Maybe he just had it.

But, I agree - I don't think this behavior will stop.

Can I ask wha the does for a living? Is he employed? Does he have self respect for himself? No normal person would do this - they might say - stop the car, I want out.

I a feeling what he does for a living... and this totally plays into it and would be why he has no respect for his life.

[Fr_Chuck]

1. This child is nuts, I can't call him a man since doing this is childish.
He is not ready for any relationship where he is not getting his way.
He needs serouis counseling for his mental issues\\

This is like living with a drunk, you know what you got, you know what it is going to be like, so if you want to put up with stuff like this all the time it is your life and choice

[talaniman]

How can I be with someone who is willing to injure themselves when they can't handle the pressure of an argument.?

We would all like to hear the answer to this question. His behavior is unacceptable and reconsidering the value of this relationship is exactly what you must do.

[momincali]

Tito could have seriously injured himself or had he hit his head, or had you run him over... well, you get the picture.

Believe me, things like this tend to repeat themselves. If you don't open your eyes, you will be knee deep in this and won't know where to turn. He needs some serious help, not trying to be mean but a psyche assessment wouldn't hurt. Not saying he's crazy, but his actions were desperate beyond normal.

[shygrneyzs]

You cannot be with someone who will deliberately injure themselves. It just does not make sense. It makes nonsense. What could you possibly hope to gain in a relationship like that? Are you ready to sign on for the rest of your life to be his clean-up, enabling caretaker/partner? If you do, you will be ready to run over him yourself!

Not only does he need some intensive counseling but so do you - to find out why you are attracted to him and his behavior.

[chuff]

ONE question though, and it's important, do you nag him? are you ALWAYS on his case? Do you support him?

Maybe he just had it.

Well I'm glad someone asked this because I was going to myself. I'm not going to disagree with the actions he took. Not a bright move to jump out a car.

But I was actually in a similar situation a few years ago with an ex so this hit close to home. We were visiting her friends about 2 hours away and it was constant complaining all day, then stuck in the car for 2 hours with no place to go, no matter what I did to try and cheer her up. She took the directions down wrong and was not shutting up about so we pulled into a gas station, she got directions got back in the car and started complaining that I didn't defend her because some guy was looking at her, never mind she wasn't wearing much so why wouldn't he which I pointed out to only increase her rage. Long story short we still could'nt find the place still so we stopped again and I got them and got back in and said, "it's 3 minutes from here, I just quit talking and listened" So then she starts complaining again about her friend not giving her proper directions and I just screamed out in frustration "STOP THE CAR I'D RATHER WALK BACK HOME (2 hours) THEN LISTEN TO YOU COMPLAIN ONE MORE SECOND." And she did and I got out.

I walked back to a Kmart because I was going to call a friend and she came back and said
She would stop and although it was very tense we did go to her friends where she didn't complain but mostly because she didn't talk.

My point is I can totally relate to this guy. If he's listening her complain and having to do it in the confines of a car where he can't walk to another room or she won't be quiet and let him make his points then I can see getting out. While I can't see getting out while the car is moving but I can understand why he wouldn't want to be in that situation. The thing about my ex was she was always like that. Always complaining about something. And if this woman is like that then maybe he just snapped and had to get away.

I find it interesting that they've been going out 4 years and then he does something off the wall. If he has a history of self destructive behavior then he does have problems. Actually the reality is he does have problems to jump from a moving car, but if it just happened one time, I'd like to hear his version or more about this "argument" that may shed some light on this. There's more to this story than what's being told I guarantee it.

[chippers]

First how would you react to a child throwing a tantrum because that's what he did. He litteraly threw himself on the ground. I'm on board with the others. Tito has some serious growing up to do. He also needs to cut back on the drama. What he did was an attention getter. He wanted to get your undivided attention and guess what he got it FIVE times!! Every time you begged him to get into your car he got what he was aiming for. To get a reaction from you.
He needs counseling and find better ways to cope better than throwinig himself from a moving car. You also need to set limits on your patience with him. Call him on it tell him getting himself killed is permanent. And he has no right to play on your emotions or mainpulate you in any way.
I have one question for you. What would have happened if you had children in thecar and they saw him do that??