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creocali · Apr 27, 2011, 01:49 PM

I was romantically involved with a pro athlete for three years unaware he was married. Within this three years there were promises, abortions, and also an tube pregnancy which cause me to almost lose my life along with an emergency surgery that I now still have health problems from and can not afford to see the doctor. This was a serious relationship (so I thought) I changed my plans on moving and based a lot of things on what he said and the state of our relationship which has now caused me to be in a bad position financially. Once I found out and cut him off. He is now harassing me and treating me. Do I have a legal argument??

smoothy · Apr 27, 2011, 03:23 PM

So... it took you three years to figure out a sports celebrity was married?

Actually you don't have an argument for most of that... you were a willing participant.

You might for harassment and threats... but you are going to have to be able to prove them. He's got money to fight them... you probably don't. If you haven't even reported THAT to the police yet... you are going to have a hard time proving it even occurred in court.

Financially... you are better off forgetting it and moving on with your life... legally you could try for some of it and end up far worse off than you are now. In fact... the odds are THAT will be the case far more likely than you will win. And even if you win there is no guarantee you will get much of anything but a legal bill to pay.

ScottGem · Apr 27, 2011, 03:28 PM

Pro athletes might have big pockets. This means a lawyer may see enough of a case to think he can get a big payday by winning. So you may have a good chance of getting an attorney. Shop around for one.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 27, 2011, 04:06 PM

I am not sure what type of case you want,

You were his mistress for several years, got pregnant, had abortions and so on. I really don't see much of a case. But you may find an attorney who will want to try, hoping he will settle for something

JudyKayTee · Apr 29, 2011, 08:43 AM

What would be the basis of the lawsuit, the cause of action?

Unless he pulled a gun on you're the abortions were your decision, not his. Maybe that's what he wanted but that's a decision only you could make.

Promises? What did he promise?

Tubal pregnancies? Again, not his fault. Presumably you would have had the same problem with any pregnancy.

Harassment? Possibly, depending on the extent of it.

He probably doesn't want to be publicly embarrassed (if you can prove what you said) so maybe he'll pay you something to shut you up. Or not - if he carried on publicly with you for years I wonder if his wife knows and doesn't care.

Then there's your burden of proof - proving that you didn't know, didn't suspect that he was married.

creocali · May 3, 2011, 09:13 AM

Yes it did take me that long. Which I could see how it could be hard to believe however I NEVER date an athlete, was new to town so I didn't know anyone, he met my family, son, we went out, I met his friends along with one of his family members. He spent the night so on and so forth. As far as the harassment I just have call logs and text mess from him saying horrible things to me.

creocali · May 3, 2011, 09:13 AM

Thanks

creocali · May 3, 2011, 09:18 AM

I would like a case for all of the emotional damages and emotional distress. I base my living on him asking me to stay out here and helping me. I was going to move due to financial reason and he told me to stay in the city. I honestly thought I was going to marry this man.

creocali · May 3, 2011, 09:20 AM

I would like a case for all of the emotional damages and emotional distress. And I'm 90% sure I can prove I didn't know. I have texts along with witnesses.

smoothy · May 3, 2011, 09:49 AM

I'm a firm believer in moving on with your life and considering your past mistakes as learning experiences.

Yes you COULD try and sue him... thats going to take time and money... and you are going to lose a big chunk of your life over something everyone goes through. No not every one has a fling with a Professional athlete... but nearly everyone has had a bad breakup... and ones that have involved lies and deception (women are no stranger to committing this either)... some even knew it going in and still do it.

If everyone sued someone else over "emotional damages and distress" when a relationsship ended badly everyone will have sued and been sued multiple times.

Fixating on what is over and done with keeps you from getting over it and moving on.

Actually this may not make much sense to you right now... but the older you get the easier it is to see how much time each of us has wasted on such things... and the reality of just how short life really is becomes more and more apparent every year you are alive. But you really start to notice it when you are in your 40's.

And you don't get that time back.

JudyKayTee · May 3, 2011, 11:43 AM

If you think you are emotionally damaged now, wait until you sue this man and have to take the witness stand and reveal your entire sexual history, including the abortions, and open your private life to a bunch of strangers. Married men are traditionally unavailable on certain dates, at certain times. That's usually the tip off.

Professional athletes almost always have PR "machines" - I used to date a pro football player - and all of the details of their lives are public. They might say "married" and give no other info but someone would pick up on it. They are very open books because of the media.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is move on and try to learn from the experience.

As far as the name calling and anything else that is going on, you can always go to the Police.

If the cost is worth the possibility of winning, I'd say go with it but be aware of the down side.