But I find certain members of my family are against this, and would like me to be like at there beck and call. They come to me with all there problems and I feel like I am like a 24 hour social worker, there still asking my advice up until 11 or 12 oclock at night. The thing you may be asking is why I put up with it. Well they are my siblings and we all live in the same house at the moment. I am waiting to move out quite soon but they are constantly harrassing me if it is not money it is where's the food, can you keep my bank book and passport for me, then they are asking for them back constantly,then its just about everything, if I decide to hibanate in my room and take a nap they are constantly knocking on my bedroom door asking me all kinds, if I tell them to leave me alone for a bit they are rude. How guys can I deal with them do you think,this is until I move out of this terrible hell hole. I have constant saw throat all the time my voice is croaky. I dont think that I will ever get out of this place without getting ill. They have made me take out loans for them in my name but give me the money to pay off the loan but although it is not costing me anything it is like another reason to be stuck by them I want to close all links with them.

cherri1966

Let me tell you something! Your family, your friends and your children will only do to you what you allow. I wouldn't care if I was in a house full of people if I needed space, I would have it. You are obviously codependent on them and they on you for whatever reasons. It is totally ridiculous to take on burdens like that when you are dealing with your own issues. Take control of your life. I don't care if your siblings are 1, 5, 10, 20, 30, or whatever. Put your foot down, say what you mean and mean what you say. You can do that without being mean to them. Stand on what you mean firmly, without wavering. Learn to say NO! It is okay. You have to in order to keep your sanity. If you choose not to do something about it, don't complain. You have the power, use it. I hope that doesn't sound to abrupt to you, but it's true. You have to take control of your life.

LUNAGODDESS

Reads like you are the oldest child are you? Older siblings with busy parents are left to do the parenting...your family do read as if they are dependent on you...and you on them...collecting passports and giving them back on command...come on now...let us do this ...let learn to say I am worth something...I am somebody...I will be respected....I love me...to say no...Does not mean you are the bad guy...do not co sign...even though.... they respect you enough to pay the loan off...they do not have to ...you hold the key to this relationship...just say no...Handle it with care... for instance, when saying no say to the persona asking you for some comfort ...say...you can handle this....and stand the ground...tell them the load is too heavy for you carry...what country are you from? Some cultures hold the oldest son responsible for the raising of children of his sister(s)...therefore the question what country is you from?

CastawayChris

People don't make you do things, those are your own choices. You sound like you are blaming everyone else for your woes, I suspect you should blame yourself.

The first step to happiness is being honest with yourself.