At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
I have noticed that I have a strong personal bias against people who cheat in relationships. I hear people talking up their "activities, and it makes me disgusted with them. I often feel like I have no use for these types of people in my life.
I know their decisions do not reflect on me, but am trying to figure out if it is normal that such information makes me feel total repulsion? People could be a stranger that I overhear, a co-worker, etc...
Perhaps it would be good to resolve this in counseling. I was going to add that it might be good to see someone you don't know, but that wouldn't have to be the case.
I suspect you haven't really worked through this, have you.
Feelings on it come and go... trying to resolve the personal feelings and sometimes come to terms that it was what she felt was best for her... but still no closure for what it did to me. I will look into seeing someone.
I always dreamed of the happly ever after with the kids, a house, a good career and pets.
I think you may have hit on something very specific here for me... I too had that dream... but when my dream was smashed in a divorce that I did not want.... well I must be holding some strong emotions related to commitments.
You mentioned ADHD children and Bipolar father.... I was recently told that there are some reports that there may be some link that ADHD children may be more prone to bipolar disorder with age.... I don't know if it is true or not, but wondered if you had heard anything along those lines?
Yes I always believed there is a direct link to bi-polar and ADHD because my ex turned out to be bi-polar and my sons ADHD.
My point about dreams being shattered is that I notice some here who do seem to put down the OP with generalizations that they made the *stupid decision* now they *have to live with it* because they *made their bed*. Problem is, as I have been saying is that people and time does change things. You think things are going great only to find out they tell you they aren't the same person and they want out or that they never were who they made you believe they were.
well I must be holding some strong emotions related to commitments. ---Yes and that is a good thing.
my current partner of a relatively short time (7 months) was cheated on by his first wife of 17 years and was able to forgive her at the time. He saw her as being the victim of a sexual predator, and put his marriage ahead of feeling cheated on. However, although they had a couple of good years afterwards, their marriage eventually broke-down.
After their divorce, he fell in love with a woman who he strongly felt was the love of his life, and again he gave his all. Over a two year period of time, she left him seven times, was physically violent towards him, and cheated on him. It left him feeling used and utterly depressed.
We met several months after he made a firm commitment to himself that he was going to turn his life around in a positive way.
As I was blatantly lied to and felt cheated on by ex and was similarly dumbfounded, a reason my current partner and I are happy to be together, is that we both feel safe with each other. We genuinely like and trust each other, and are in love. Even if we can't make a promise yet to be together forever, we're both satisfied that at no point would we ever let someone else come between us, or run away with someone else as being a reason for us not staying together.
What surprises me is that he is physically attractive, intelligent, has a great sense of humor, is a natural provider. protects the people he loves, has always been there for his kids, and is very loving. And he still has a strong sense of commitment to being faithful to one person, the same as I do. He's a great catch for any woman, in other words.
What makes some people cheat on their partner while others don't would make an interesting study. For my part, it is reassuring to know that there are people who really do want to experience love and intimacy in their life with one person. You might find you start to get over the hurt of having been betrayed, when you rediscover in yourself a sense of hope that your emotional needs can still be fulfilled.
Linear Mode
