[fantastia]

Hi, I Am A 45 Yr Old Woman Who Got Married Again Almost A Yr Ago, After Being Alone For 2 Yrs. My First Husband Passed Away. I Met My Husband Online In August 2004, We Were Married August 2006. We Have A Dream Come True For Both Of Us. But I Have Insecurities.I Love Him More Then Anything In This World And I Know He Loves Me. He Is A Wonderful Man, Treats Me Good And Our Lovemaking Is Out Of This World. Within The Last 3 Months, We Met A Friend Online And Talked To Her Quite Often Online And On The Phone. Lately He Has Been Talking To Her All The Time And I Was Getting Upset Because She Was Taking All His Time. Her Time Zone Is 3 Hours Different Then Ours And She Has Small Children, So Time On The Phone Through The Day(our Time) Is Hard For Her And As A Result They End Up Talking Til 4 Or 5 Am Our Time And I End Up Going To Bed Alone. That's The Major Issue, I Don't Like Going To Bed Alone. I Totally Trust Him, It's the Females That Come Into Our Lives That I Don't Trust. My Husband Is A Wonderful Man With Great Charisma And I Have This Overwhelming Fear Of Losing Him. As A Result This Is Causing Problems In Our Relationship. I Shouldn't Feel The Way I Do Because This Woman Has A Boyfriend That Will Be Living With Her And Is Almost 20 Yrs Younger Then My Husband. I HAVE BEEN LEAVING HIM ALONE AND LETTING HIM HAVE HIS PRIVACY AND OUR RELATIONSHIP SEEMS TO BE GETTING BETTER, BUT I STILL FEEL INSECURE. ANY ANSWERS TO HELP SOLVE MY ISSUES WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.

[xiaocake]

From the tradition view, I think your husband shouldn't talk to her when it causes your feeling of insecurity. What you felt proved you love your family now. But please never attribute the fault to other women because this is privacy of others. Conversely, it will not be classified as interference of your husband's privacy because you are married;you two have built a common life, which needs both efforts and devotion to make it happy and everlasting. I believe he loves you, so please let him know he did the wrong thing. This is what thought. You could ask him, "If I talked to a man who seems friendly and mature all the time, would you be happy for that?" But I believe you could communicate with him in a better manners.
Wish you happy family.

[Ladyviper]

Technically it is not a problem until you have talked to him about it. If it bothers you then you should say something. Don't attack just talk, and if he continues to do it knowing you are bothered by it then it is a problem. Don't freak out just yet, talk to him first and see what comes of it and then let us know. Odds are you are not the only other woman he has met online and had some sort of relationship with.