Ok... this is embarrassing...

jeffatl · Jul 13, 2006, 09:16 PM

So tonight things are getting hot and heavy between me and my lady friend, and we decide to take it to the bedroom... I was SO ready to go until it came time, then I just totally freaked myself out and couldn't do it! Now, I have NO problem getting aroused by any means, but I just couldn't shut off my head, and I was pretty shocked to say the least! This had never happened to me before!! I know I don't have ED or anything like that, but why did my head take over like that? Performance anxiety? This totally sucks!! She asked me what was wrong, and I just told her I was nervouse... I WAS! This will be the 1st girl I have been with since my EX, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not. What the heck is going on here? :confused:

Wildcat21 · Jul 13, 2006, 09:35 PM

Dude - do you know how to take it SLOW in the bedroom - just asking... foreplay... I hope you weren't rushing right into it? I NEED FORE PLAY - I love fore play...

95% of the timethe women will appreciate you going really slow. YOU HAVE TO WARM HER UP AND WARM YOURSELF UP.

Man... take it SLOW my man.

THERE ARE OTHER THINGS YOU CAN DO MY MAN. Make out. Rub her all over - find her erogenous zones, fingers, oral, caress her breats... play with her hair - pull her hair a little.

Sex is NOT a sprint... you do all that stuff and you would totally relax... hope you know that stuff?. that stuff could take an hour and totally relax you.

Just hope you don't think making love is wam-bam - only DUMB ASSES do that. I hope to my god you don't go strasight for intercourse.

I do have some great books for you. You need to know how to make love.

Try a book by Kerner called "She Comes First" - it's about making a woman come first through petting/fingers - and GREAT ORAL. You do that and she will be SOOOOO happy - THEN you can get to your business.

Even IF you are nervous - doing oral and petting and rubing her down etc... playing with her breast etc... will make her come.

I hope you know all this stuff. Learn it.

jeffatl · Jul 13, 2006, 09:39 PM

NO! That's just it!! Im all about the 4 play!! I did make her orgasm through other things, but I just bugged myself out! That's the part I don't get... I really think I am going over too much in my head. In fact, the 4 play is pretty much my favorite part!! I just couldn't shut off my head...

Wildcat21 · Jul 13, 2006, 09:52 PM

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - how about a couple drinks before?

I am usually in another world - there is not much thought to it.

jeffatl · Jul 13, 2006, 09:55 PM

I am too man, I think Im going too much into it... Maybe a few drinks would help! Hahahaha! I just need to get my head out of my butt!!

Wildcat21 · Jul 13, 2006, 09:56 PM

Well - if she's cool it's no big deal.

We're going to find out how wigged out she was.

You'll probably get one more shot. Practice!!

jeffatl · Jul 13, 2006, 10:12 PM

She didn't really seem like she cared too much about it really. She wanted me to stay the night with her, but she has work at 6am so I just told her to get some sleep. She really didn't seem to be bothered by it at all really... very cool. Im sure the next time, I will be fine (I hope).

Chery · Jul 14, 2006, 05:00 AM

Wow, that's a hard one... no pun intended.

It could be that you might have to stick with the forplay for a while, and we all know that could be fun. Maybe you are afraid that you can't meet her expectations, so it might take a few times before you get there.

Try spending the night with just the foreplay and maybe, just maybe, you might wake up before your head (the one on your neck) kicks in. That might work - if it does, gently wake her and try it then. Some women really like to be awakened that way, and there would be no need for much 'preparation'.

This might also mean that you are more serious about this gal than you have been with others and that you think too much about how to do it 'right'. Relax a little.

Then of course, you also could converse with her about such things as fantasies, likes and preferences at an appropriate time.

Chin up, Jeff, you've performed before, just give it time and don't put yourself under too much pressure.

Mom2

Wildcat21 · Jul 14, 2006, 10:16 AM

I also think maybe you rushed into this - it was probably happening too fast for you?

I would have spent the night with her and hold her and get used to her.

jeffatl · Jul 14, 2006, 11:02 AM

I agree with you cat & Chery... Like I said before, I LOVE 4 play, and I think we are rushing into things a bit. I think maybe we should stick to fooling around a bit before we "do the deed". I guess I need to get comforitable with her for some reason, its just a bit shocking to me I guess. I might see her tonight, so should I talk to her about this, or just let things slide? Thanks for all your help on this abomination guys! LOL!

Wildcat21 · Jul 14, 2006, 11:08 AM

Dude - that's perfectly fine and the way it should be in reality. I sure some ****head, jock, badboy would tell you different.

We're products of the MTV society where we want everything YESTERDAY!! It DOESN'T work that way with intimacy. Never.

COMMUNICATE!! ALWAYS!! And forever...

I would say 100% you habe rushed. I'll say ti again - when ever I am fast and furious with a women - I usually crash and burn - always.

Chery · Jul 15, 2006, 01:58 AM

Originally Posted by jeffatl

I agree with you cat & Chery.... Like I said before, I LOVE 4 play, and I think we are rushing into things a bit. I think maybe we should stick to fooling around a bit before we "do the deed". I guess I need to get comforitable with her for some reason, its just a bit shocking to me I guess. I might see her tonight, so should I talk to her about this, or just let things slide? Thanks for all your help on this abomination guys! LOL!

Babe, you know that the 'cat' and I are always advocating communication. It's the basis of any relationship - either rmakes it or breaks it. Besides, communication is the key to beginning any relationship.

If she's in tune with you, she can probably understand what you are going through, so tell her that you think waiting would be worth it.

Again, good luck.

Blazingsun · Jul 15, 2006, 07:10 AM

OK, so I've met a guy who is expressive about his emotions and now here is a couple more who love forplay... gaaawwd have I been looking in the wrong ocean. *giggles*

Seriously though Jeff, everyone's got great advice. My guy (I think he still is.. last I checked.. unsure but *coughs*) had told me straight up from the beginning he may have some problems in that area and may not be able to 'proform'. I told him that it was OK. I didn't think of him as some little dog who had to do tricks.

For him to just relax and enjoy being with me, as much as I was simply enjoying his nearness and snuggles. It isn't always about the sex. Doesn't have to be.

jeffatl · Jul 16, 2006, 02:41 PM

Got over it last night! Everyhting was in perfect working order!! Afterwards I talked to her about what the problem was, and she just told me not to worry about it! So glad I got that monkey off my back, and got things back on track!

Wildcat21 · Jul 16, 2006, 09:19 PM

Good job my man!! It was all that practice!!

Blazing - YES!! Foreplay is important - most guys have no clue how enjoyable it can and should be - plenty of time for the main event. Got warm each other up a little.

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