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    homeworkgirl's Avatar
    homeworkgirl Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 29, 2008, 10:53 PM
    What should I do?
    I don't know what he is thinking.
    We hanged out for 1 month, and then I transferred to another college, an hour and half distance from the previous one. When we hanged out, we went to the library together, went to cinema, played tennis, and took a walk in the evening. Since we were in different places, he called me like every other day. We talked about life, interesting things, and sad things.
    I like him very much. But he never said his feelings about me. Once I asked him on the phone whether he just saw me as a friend, and he told me it was complicated. Now we still call each other, or write to each other. In my new college, I have refused some guys who are interested in me because I already like a person who is him.
    I don't know what I am waiting for. I sometimes feel sad and want to escape to another world.
    He doesn't have a car and never came here to see me. It's been 4 month since I moved to a new place. Is it clear that he doesn't want a relationship with me?
    I appreciate any ideas.
    monreal27's Avatar
    monreal27 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    Oct 29, 2008, 11:40 PM
    Maybe he's on a relationship,that's y if he will let you in into his life it would be complicated,it happened to me that I've waited sum1 so close to me,but it didn't turned out the way I want,move on and entertain suitors,it will get better in time
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Oct 30, 2008, 12:14 AM

    Well sadly the distance factor comes into play here.

    Its unfair on you both to be in a long distance relationship. Even more so if you are just about to start dating.

    I would talk to him first about your feelings get it off your chest. This will help you a lot.
    And who knows maybe he will make an effort to change the distance.

    If not then you have told him and you can carry on with your life and live it

    Best of luck
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #4

    Oct 30, 2008, 07:51 AM

    I don't know what I am waiting for. I sometimes feel sad and want to escape to another world.
    We don't know what you're waiting for either, unless it the fantasy you've created in your mind over this chat-mate.

    If you want to escape, I'd recommend escaping from the fake world in your head into the one you actually live in right now. Life is happening and you are missing it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Oct 31, 2008, 08:02 AM
    REALITY CHECK- He is to far away, and doesn't have the means to give you what you want.

    REALITY CHECK-You are putting your life on hold over a guy you think feels the same as you.

    REALITY CHECK-Your expecting too much and frustrating yourself when you don't get it.

    REALITY CHECK-Enjoy your life and be happy with who you are and what your doing, and put him on hold, not you!

    REALITY CHECK-Actions speak louder than word, text messages, or phone calls.

    REALITY CHECK-Your only chat buddies, or pen pals, friends in other words.
    Once I asked him on the phone whether he just saw me as a friend, and he told me it was complicated
    What does that mean??????????????

    After all that calling I'm sure you know, or did you just let it go by you, with no explanation??

    REALITY CHECK- Your living in fantasy, not reality.
    homeworkgirl's Avatar
    homeworkgirl Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Nov 1, 2008, 10:09 PM

    I think maybe I asked in a wrong way. I meant that whether he likes me, but he took it as if I asked how he has viewed me as a friend or a girlfriend. So he said it was complicated because we hanged out.
    But I don't think we are too far away. How far could it separate two persons? Even if I were in North pole, he south pole, with love, we would come a long way to get together.
    So I know the answer, he doen't love me.
    Do you think I live in fatasy? If it is true, I find it hard to escape. I keep meeting people, and keep saying goodbye. Walking a long way, a silly person is all just for a right person.
    I finally had the courage to leave everything I cared. After all, a lot of homework await for me.
    EN Ken's Avatar
    EN Ken Posts: 67, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Nov 1, 2008, 10:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by homeworkgirl View Post
    But I don't think we are too far away. How far could it separate two persons? Even if I were in North pole, he south pole, with love, we would come a long way to get together.
    That's a beautiful sentiment, but in reality, things don't work that way.

    I was in a long distance relationship for years and I'm telling you, as much as you love the other person, the distance takes it's toil on the relationship. Regardless of how much you love them, the fact that you never really see them, the fact that you never really talk to them, the fact that you can't touch them, means that you aren't experiencing some of the most important aspects of a relationship.

    I'm sure he likes you, but that doesn't mean that's enough to make a relationship work. It takes more than just emotion to make a relationship work. As rough as it sounds, love does not transcend all. It takes commitment and work from both people in order to keep a relationship alive and it's hard enough to do when you're leaving a 20 minute drive from someone. Living a couple of hours from someone makes it that much more difficult.
    homeworkgirl's Avatar
    homeworkgirl Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Nov 1, 2008, 11:15 PM

    EN ken, special thanks for you. And thanks all. I feel you are more gentle and considerate than tal and JB :))
    EN Ken's Avatar
    EN Ken Posts: 67, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Nov 1, 2008, 11:30 PM

    You're welcome. I'm glad I could help.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #10

    Nov 2, 2008, 06:39 AM
    Hey! I can do gentle, I can do considerate!! :D It just gets lost in my trying to be honest, and direct :rolleyes:

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