Confidence...
Some say that confidence is instilled by a significant other while growing up. Some say confidence happens when you have success at something and you build on that success. Well I didn't draw on a significant other while growing up because Dad didn't have any confidence either. I seem to mirror him as I walk through life although I have had a few succeses in accomplishments. I figure maybe what I'm looking for comes from God but I'm not real sure on that one. Anyway all these inadequacies I feel come to their fullness as I take on something new--for instance a new job. I start Monday on a new job-----where most people are thrilled from the moment they receive news that they have the job, I don't feel good until I know that I can do the job and get along with the people around me. Fortunately the people aspect of this job is only an issue during my 3 day orientation. To this point in my life my confidence is reflected when I speak and the insensitve person picks up on it and it usually down hill from there. The only time I take medication(Xanax) is when I get in these type situations. I'm usually the one who is left out and left standing alone which I've kind of learned to accept but it does create a lot anxiety. In a nutshell----I'm not comfortable in my own skin---neither was my Dad----nor my brother and from what I see of them my sisters are the same way. I don't want to judge myself anymore---I want to be comfortable in my own skin----Any suggestions ?
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