How Important Is Having An Intimate Relationship To You?

redhed35 · Mar 1, 2010, 06:21 AM

Here's my two cents.

If you have ever experienced loneiness for a good period of time,a strange thing happens,you start to crave your own company,when once you may have hated being on your own now you crave it...for me anyway.

Im in a relationship,its a good one,id even go out on a limb and say the best one yet for me,it has all the ingredients of long lasting,but the best thing about it is,we make time for each other,AND give each other that much needed 'me' time.

Thats a key element that makes us work.

Id still be quite happy on my own.

mistyjane · Mar 1, 2010, 09:25 AM

No it's not necessary but sometimes it just happens ...
Some are great others just won't work.

Clough · Mar 1, 2010, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

I can co exist with either, I can be alone and yet not be alone(weird I know) but I can also handle the pressures of a relationship. I don't think intimacy is needed but a lot of us welcome it. A lot of people search for that one person they share a special connection with, it's not sex it's something far deeper. The way they can finish a sentence that you started. I think intimacy goes far deeper than the physical aspect of things.

Being alone and lonely are two different things to me, Romefalls19. I think that you and I are on the same "page" here, although we might use different terminology.

The intimacy that you describe is very much the same as I seek out. If it's that way, then I would say that I have at least a few, very intimate relationships. They're not physical relationships, but are built very much on the mental and emotional levels.

Clough · Mar 1, 2010, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dynocompe

If you were intimate I doubt he would be having hour long showers! Haha sorry had to say it!

What is this concerning, dynocompe? I'm a man who is a heterosexual! I will say though, that one of my best friends with whom I'm very intimate is gay. If I were gay, then he would no doubt, be my lover.

But, our relationship goes beyond the physical things...

To me, it's true love!

Thanks!

Clough · Mar 1, 2010, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

No, intimacy isn't a necessity. I married a guy who turns out to have Asperger's. Intimacy is not something someone with Asperger's wants, or even is capable of. And I'm not talking about intimacy being the same as sex. We do have two kids. Intimacy is something far more than sex.

Perhaps we need to define intimacy.

You're so darned smart, Wondergirl! I wish that you were my neighbor as well as my friend on the local level!

Yes, perhaps intimacy needs to be defined here. I wrote my original question very late when I was very tired. But, I'm not going to change it. It stands as perhaps a harbinger for thoughts and ideas yet to come...

Perhaps "intimacy" means something different for a man as compared to a woman?

I'm just throwing that out there...

Thanks!

Clough · Mar 1, 2010, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

heres my two cents.

If you have ever experienced loneiness for a good period of time,a strange thing happens,you start to crave your own company,when once you may have hated being on your own now you crave it...for me anyway.

Im in a relationship,its a good one,id even go out on a limb and say the best one yet for me,it has all the ingredients of long lasting,but the best thing about it is,we make time for each other,AND give each other that much needed 'me' time.

Thats a key element that makes us work.

Id still be quite happy on my own.

I can honestly say that I'm never lonely, redhed35. I just operate for the most part, alone. I do work well in tangent with others, but most of the nature of the work that I do are the types that most people would do alone.

There are times when I definitely feel alone, but I wouldn't call it loneliness. I really feel and think that there is a big difference between feeling alone and being lonely.

To me, being lonely means that a person wants for another living being with which to be intimate in one way or another.

I'm glad that you're in a relationship and I hope that it works out great for you! You are also truly a boon to this site, and I hope that you continue here

For my beliefs, I don't think it's an accident that certain people happen to come into the lives of others at times in their lives.

Thanks!

Clough · Mar 1, 2010, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by redhed35

I totally agree with you there.

So, are you just going to leave me hangin' here, reddy?

Thank you for your comment!

I posted the original question because there seems to be so many people that think they can't be without someone else in their lives.

That's the basics...

I don't understand why they might think that and would like to have a better understanding of why they think the way that they do.

Thanks!

redhed35 · Mar 1, 2010, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

So, are you just going to leave me hangin' here, reddy?

Thank you for your comment!

I posted the original question because there seems to be so many people that think they can't be without someone else in their lives.

That's the basics...

I don't understand why they might think that and would like to have a better understanding of why they think the way that they do.

Thanks!

I don't know clough,but in my experience,some people feel like there missing out on something,'the one' a soulmate,and search and search never waiting around long enough to give any relationship a chance to grow,or getting to know themselves.

As for intimate relationships,I agree with wondergirl on that one.

Clough · Mar 1, 2010, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhed35

i don't know clough,but in my experience,some people feel like there missing out on something,'the one' a soulmate,and search and search never waiting around long enough to give any relationship a chance to grow,or getting to know themselves.

As for intimate relationships,I agree with wondergirl on that one.

But, why do they feel that they absolutely have to have someone else in their life?

That's what I have trouble understanding. It seems like an obsession rather than something that might be normal! I guess that I'm clueless!

Thanks

Wondergirl · Mar 1, 2010, 11:16 AM

It's amazing where you can find intimacy. There was a homeless man who used to hang out at the public library where I worked for 25 years. He was always clean and well-behaved, but scruffy and wore mismatched clothes. One day about 10-12 years ago, I introduced myself to him and asked him his name. That was the start of a wonderful friendship.

Jerry is a voracious reader of newspapers and books (especially history) and is a keen observer of people. As you can imagine, public libraries, like bus stations and airports, are great places to observe people. Jerry and I are intimates -- no romance, no sex, no kissy stuff -- but we have our inside jokes, often have similar assessments of situations (I've often chuckled at his no-comment eye-rolling or eyebrow-raising during a patron upset or library incident), and share a deep love for libraries. Through conversations on the fly, we got to know each other well.

I would come to work and walk up the steps to the front door near where Jerry was smoking a cheap cigarette, and ask him, "How're things?" He wouldn't have to say a word. His eyes would meet mine and silently tell a tale of a thousand words. To me, that's intimacy.

How Important Is Having An Intimate Relationship To You?

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