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How to deal with confusing issues?

Asked Mar 24, 2012, 12:54 AM — 4 Answers
Proper conversation with people.

Sometimes I feel that my way of talking isn't proper. I deal with different people everyday in my job and argue with them and as a result, it became a regular thing. Now,my dear friends misunderstood me as I unknowingly treat them as my clients. Nowadays I forgot how to talk with my cousins/relatives. Please help me on this.

I don't know what I really want.

I'm 18 yr old guy. My body needs a woman, but my brain doesn't. I don't like women. When I walk on the road and a girl passes by, I look away from her. When a girl comes to me to have a chat, I respond like I'm not interested. But deep inside me, maybe I really need her. That's the confusion.

During first two years of high school, there was a beautiful girl in my class. I really liked her body and appearance and that's normal as I am a man. But I wanted to ignore her to lower her importance and I did that though I was really attracted to her. But there was a time when every night I think of her, and I even had dreams with her and etc. But yes, I feel that I don't want anyone to make me happy, and sometimes I feel better alone. But my body needs the pleasure. Is this split personality? What do I really want? Kindly post your opinion. I want clear my confusion.

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4 Answers
Fr_Chuck's Avatar
Fr_Chuck Posts: 72,597, Reputation: 37026
Expert
  
#2

Mar 24, 2012, 04:27 AM


Proper conversation with people.

What type of "job" do you do that you argue with customers, You should be talking with customers also, not argue with them.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,320, Reputation: 50351
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#3

Mar 24, 2012, 06:49 AM


Proper conversation with people

Maybe being nicer to customers will allow you being nicer to others. Always seek to be cool, calm, collected, and under control of yourself. Start every day with a smile to the person in the mirror, and take this with you where ever you go. Practice this until it becomes a part of the way you relate to others. Seperate business/work, from personal/home.

I don't know what I really want.

I think your conflict between your head and heart comes from not know what to do to satisfy either of them. Its a normal conflict, but going back to your original issue, on of fear, uncertainty, and a lack of experience, I think practicing how to be a better person is where your solution lies.

Make friends my friend, treat people as you want to be treated with dignity, and respect. Not all will return it, the way you give it, but if courtesy is your attitude, then being friendly will get you closer to people, and trusted and respected by some. In this way you can form healthy bonds with others for some positive lasting results.

Now why do you not like women? Is it the inadequacy of you to relate, or some past trauma? Are you afraid of them?
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Entokhecho's Avatar
Entokhecho Posts: 21, Reputation: 10
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#4

Mar 24, 2012, 08:46 AM
I am an Insurance surveyor.I have to argue with my clients about their insurance claim.

I am just afraid of the outcome I guess.If something goes wrong,maybe I can't handle it.I am not afraid of women,I am afraid of the society which scrutinises my every move.I can't dodge problems,so I stay out of it.I don't know what awaits in the rest of my life.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,320, Reputation: 50351
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#5

Mar 24, 2012, 09:17 AM


When you allow your thoughts and actions to be dictated by YOUR feelings of fear and insecurity, you make bad decisions about how to act, and deal with the circumstances you are confronted with. It completely distracts, and distorts your perception of the facts.

Don't run from your fear, confront it and deal with it to grow and learn. That means you have to take a risk, that it could work out bad, but you will learn, and grow more confident to over come challenges that life throws at you.
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