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My friends and I do a bunch of reading of inspirational materials. Here's one a friend sent to me that I think its particularly powerful.
Most of my life I've been a closet slob.... Then I got married....
I enrolled in a twelve-step program for slobs. ("My name is Max, I hate to vacuum.") A physical therapist helped me rediscover the muscles used for hanging shirts.... My nose was reintroduced to the fragrance of Pine Sol....
Then came the moment of truth. Denalyn went out of town for a week. Initially I reverted to the old man. I figured I'd be a slob for six days and clean on the seventh. But something strange happened, a curious discomfort. I couldn't relax with dirty dishes in the sink.
What had happened to me? Simple. I'd been exposed to a higher standard.
Isn't that what has happened with us?… Before Christ our lives were out of control, sloppy, and indulgent. We didn't even know we were slobs until we met him…. Suddenly we find ourselves wanting to do good. Go back to the old mess? Are you kidding?
I hate to say this Val, but I am very confused by this posting. I am not trying to be judgemental, start an argument, or question this. I am being completely honest and open in my confusion here. I do believe Jesus Christ lived, but I am not, by nature, a religious person, and he is not my God or saviour. Can you explain this quote? What does this mean to you? I honestly and truly would like to know. I am a loss as to what I should be taking from this.
For the Christian, it could mean the difference between before and after they are saved.
For the non-Christian, as I am, it could mean the difference between before and after some other form of transformation.
For me personally, it means once you see, you aren't easily afforded the ability to not see again.
I don't believe in Jesus and I run my life just fine. I still believe these 'higher power' features come not from religion but from good parenting. Well that's my personal testimony.
I am not ignoring you Joe, or you NeedKarma. Since Val felt this was important to post I kind of want to stick with her for the moment.
I understand what you are saying, Val. Thank you for explaining this so succinctly. I understand the concept, and I do believe in what you are saying. As it relates to me, any way. Once I have learned something, anything for that matter, I cannot unlearn it and my subsequent actions are based upon that learned behavior.
Now, everyone can jump in if they like.
I have a very close friend who doesn't operate on that plain. We grew up together, have known each other since we were 10. She is a smart woman in many, many respects. You would think at our age, she would be at a point in her life that once she has made a mistake (maybe error in judgement is a better term to use here), and sees the error of her ways, as she has told me she has, she would not continually repeat the same errors over and over again. We talk about it. She has a very clear understanding of what went wrong, and what she needs to do to make it right, or not fall into the same trap again. She explains to me what she has learned and won't make the same mistake again. And yet, she does it anyway. I guess I should stipulate it is only when it comes to men. We have discussed this on too many occasions. I have gotten to the point where all I can do is listen. How do you help a friend that you love who claims that she "sees"? I feel pain for her and I want to help her change her patterns. But, I am at a complete loss. I just shut my mouth now and accept her for who she is. Is there any way to help her attain this level of personal understanding? It is so weird because she really does understand what she has learned. She tells me that she can't help it. She finally went into therapy/counseling at my urging a number of years ago, but I don't see any change to what I believe is self-destructive behavior? She has switched counselors a few times because they weren't helping her. Any one have any ideas or insight into this? I am all ears!
Without getting too deep about it, I tend to see people do that when there is something else in the works affecting it, something more invisible. As Dr Phil would say, she is getting some kind of payoff for the destructive behavior that outweighs the negative consequences.
That she keeps switching counselors, all not able to help, is a wee bit suspect to me, no offense to your friend, since the odds of pulling that many untalented ones in a row make it more and more implausible as this action continues.While I am all for switching counselors when its not working, its also based on eventually getting with one who does and that's really up to the client.
There are quite a few people who go to therapy that don't want to solve the problem too. The good therapists turn them loose, recognising that its only about attention. For an amazing look at one extreme example of that, read the chapter on... I believe she was called "Charlene" in M. Scott Peck's book, People of the Lie.
But my bottom line is.... I am never sure if I can tell the difference between couldn't and wouldn't. Even when I had a front row seat to a friend's long slow suicide, it was impossible to tell. So I am careful with that. Perhaps she just can't fix it or some are just too sick still for anyone to heal. This branch of medicine/science/art still has a long way to go in my book.
Yes, what you are stating is pretty much my feeling on this. She is not a reader so has rejected anything I have suggested. There was a point where I felt that our friendship wouldn't survive this. If we had met as adults, I doubt very much I would have chosen her as a friend. But, she is like family and you all know how that goes. Ya gots ta take da good wit da bad. I just tell her I can't talk about it anymore because we have already been down that path too many times. She laughs and agrees. It is what it is. It really is so weird because in every other sense, she is a healthy and balanced person. Can't attribute it to her upbringing either. Ah well.
What a beautiful way to portray what I feel for me, life before you allow God to enter your heart and after. Here’s the thing. At least for me. Sadly, and too frequently, I forget to pray, and forget my teachings, and I face this life, all on my own, thinking, yup I got this bad boy under control. Guess what, MESS! Allheart is on her way to creating herself a little mess.
When I remember to pray, and not for just those I love, but those who maybe that day I perhaps have difficulties with, I am continuously surprised at the peace that I feel and peace that remains and surprisingly the peace between myself and the person I had the difficulty with. Honest, there is not one occasion that I can think of when I this has not been the case for me.
So this incredibly wonderful written pictorial of the before and after, also applies to even when you do have faith and do know and have learned about God. When I rely only on myself to fix a problem, or come up with a solution = MESS. But when I remember to pray, and give it over to God and following my teachings = Peace. This has usually been the case for me.
And yes, because you are aware, because you have been taught right from wrong you do hold yourself to a higher standard. You do find that you are really only truly happy, when you have done good, when you have done right, and will feel an utter mess to do otherwise. Once you have been “introduced”, that’s one introduction that can’t be undone nor should it be.
Great great post Val. ( this could not have come at a better time, as I have been having a heck of a time at work, but you just reminded me as to why my road has been so difficult.) Thanks for this great post Val.
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