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Home > Family & People > Personal Growth   »   How do you stop being negatie about yourself?Can it be done?

 
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Old Feb 7, 2008, 02:23 AM
Tyne26
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How do you stop being negatie about yourself?Can it be done?

Hi Folks,

How does a guy pick up his confidence when he continually hears negative comments about the way he looks. I get so jealous of guys who all the girls look at and compliment. I always get told im average or "not their type".......Everytime i go out with friends i feel ugly and just want to go home. I have been teased about the way i look from a young age and since then all the negative comments overload the positive ones.

If none of the negative comments had happened i would be so happy but i feel they have destroyed me and i struggle to enjoy events in my life as i am a "nobody".

I often wish i looked like some other guy who is popular, i hate looking in the mirror and sometimes feel physically sick. I have had plenty of girls say i am not attractive and i now have angry feelings towards them, which i hate but cant control.

I can write a list of about 100 people i know who have put me down and it hurts so much......why is it some guys have all the luck and plain old boring me has to feel like this.

Sorry for wallowing in my own self pity but it just gets too much at times

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Old Feb 7, 2008, 03:08 AM   #2  
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It happens, people can be so cruel. Some of the best husbands I know are either ugly or downright average looking. Most of us get 'uglier' as we age. How about body building? If nothing else, it would get you out of the house and into a gym environment.

You don't put others down, do you? Kindness (without ego), that's a rare quality to find in a man. It has always attracted me to the guys who are less than physically or financially perfect. Unfortunately, the good looking men are almost all, way too full of themselves.
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Old Feb 7, 2008, 03:15 AM   #3  
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if iwere you i'd rather be nobody than be somebody...something like that..i'd rather be on the non popular side. there's one best side of being not popular...it's much easier to find the one who truely loves you. for the popular guys the girls jsut play around with them but for the guys with no luck..they'r the lucky one at last!!..you get what i mean??..


love yourself..and i know that it's hard to ignore those hateard words comming out from their mouth..but be happy for who you are..be glad you are you...be happy that you ain't being played like them.

wish you luck in comming everyday life.
best wish
masubhat~*

popularity doesn't mean happyness get dat. they may have the getting the girls luck but not getting their heart.

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simoneaugie agrees: That is so true.
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Old Feb 7, 2008, 03:21 AM   #4  
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A person's self-worth and all that jazz should never be based on looks. Because looks fade. True beauty is on the inside. I mean, but we've all known that since Kindergarden. Are you asking them what they think of you? If you are asking them what they think of you, stop. It's like the book: "What You Think of Me is None of My Business." BUT if they are just walking up to you giving you unwanted and negative criticism (Such as 'Hey Joe your shirts ugly') --just tell them that their opinion is worthless to you. You gotta not be available to negativity like that. Block them out. It's toxic. Now, if a girl tells you that you aren't her type....seriously....that's rude and you can do better than her anyway.

If I were you, I would boost my self-esteem by doing things that make you happy, make you feel hot, etc. Good luck.
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Old Feb 7, 2008, 03:23 AM   #5  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simoneaugie
It happens, people can be so cruel. Some of the best husbands I know are either ugly or downright average looking. Most of us get 'uglier' as we age. How about body building? If nothing else, it would get you out of the house and into a gym environment.

You don't put others down, do you? Kindness (without ego), that's a rare quality to find in a man. It has always attracted me to the guys who are less than physically or financially perfect. Unfortunately, the good looking men are almost all, way too full of themselves.

No I dont put others down, i find myself holding back form slagging any1 as I feel it is wrong and it will come back and bite me. I dont want to be big headed i just want to feel physically attractive and for the opposite sex to feel the same. yes i want to win their heart as this is the most important but i want to hvae that physical spark as well, but looking at me i cant provide that and it hurts me........

Obviously when with a girl she will notice other good looking guys but it makes me feel that if she is noticing them its cause they look better than what they have and that is me......i dont know if im confusing people when i say this

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simoneaugie agrees: I think you need to change crowds. Having a great body starts with standing up straight and being true to yourself. Find others who are supportive. Ditch the people who are slagging you.
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Old Feb 7, 2008, 03:28 AM   #6  
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yes you are right they notice them because of their look..but did you know dat ugly can also be attractive?? you jsut need the right look at the right time. how do you dress up aniway?

still..popularity is not all..
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Old Feb 7, 2008, 03:29 AM   #7  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mafiaangel180
A person's self-worth and all that jazz should never be based on looks. Because looks fade. True beauty is on the inside. I mean, but we've all known that since Kindergarden. Are you asking them what they think of you? If you are asking them what they think of you, stop. It's like the book: "What You Think of Me is None of My Business." BUT if they are just walking up to you giving you unwanted and negative criticism (Such as 'Hey Joe your shirts ugly') --just tell them that their opinion is worthless to you. You gotta not be available to negativity like that. Block them out. It's toxic. Now, if a girl tells you that you aren't her type....seriously....that's rude and you can do better than her anyway.

If I were you, I would boost my self-esteem by doing things that make you happy, make you feel hot, etc. Good luck.

I have been with girls in the past who have said they thought i was really nice but couldnt understand why some of their friends could not see what they see.......I actually over heard a girl saying to my friend i was not her type when he was trying to hook us up and it hurt...even thought i didnt want my mate to do it.


Another so called friend asked a girl who was better looking out of me and another firend. I knew she would chose him and she did as he gets all the attention form the girls. 15 mins later another girl tells me he is "more sexy" than me....its impossible to feel attractive when this is constantly in my face...........im extremley frightened of rejection or any comment negative, i destroys my confidence and i cant hold onto a relationship as i get jealous and insecure..........I hate my life
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Old Feb 7, 2008, 03:36 AM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MasuBhat
yes you are right they notice them because of their look..but did you know dat ugly can also be attractive?? you jsut need the right look at the right time. how do you dress up aniway?

still..popularity is not all..
I dress up like any in date fashion, my clothes are as good as any1, its just the face that lets me down......I dont like females very much. its horrible to say but they have influenced me to feel this way. I mean its hard to stand in a pub or club and girls constantly come up to your mate and say "ur hot" or keep looking over and smiling at him and chatting him up...i might as well hold his drinks for him all night
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Old Feb 7, 2008, 03:58 AM   #9  
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..hm..can't u jsut ignore them?./.well if you feel so left out then check out if any girls in there are also?..and if there are you can hav ur chance ask them to dance wid you or etc..and if they also do reject you than you still can enjoy your self alone. dance with your self...feel happy for your friends..and smile for whoever girls comes up to ur frens..jsut smile like you don't giv a about them not comming to you..

hope it helped??
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Old Feb 7, 2008, 04:06 AM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyne26
I have been with girls in the past who have said they thought i was really nice but couldnt understand why some of their friends could not see what they see.......I actually over heard a girl saying to my friend i was not her type when he was trying to hook us up and it hurt...even thought i didnt want my mate to do it.


Another so called friend asked a girl who was better looking out of me and another firend. I knew she would chose him and she did as he gets all the attention form the girls. 15 mins later another girl tells me he is "more sexy" than me....its impossible to feel attractive when this is constantly in my face...........im extremley frightened of rejection or any comment negative, i destroys my confidence and i cant hold onto a relationship as i get jealous and insecure..........I hate my life
First of all....get some new friends. Friends that don't need to fish for compliments from girls by having them compare the two of you. A real friend wouldn't do that crap. Get rid of the toxic people in your life. You need a better support group. You must have one friend that doesn't do that to you. How about your family? Having no friends is better than having bad ones.

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simoneaugie agrees: Well said. Not only are you hearing negatives too often, the tapes of old crap from the past are playing. Go to different places.
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