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When I was still married, and when my kids were still at home, I could always count on getting some flowers. But now, divorced and with kids grown and flown, I miss them all of course, but I also missed receiving flowers. Then it came to me, I could go buy myself some flowers. It was an amazing realisation for me. I never did anything for myself before without feeling guilty.
So I bought myself some flowers. I didn't spend a lot, just enough to tell myself I was worth it. It felt good, and every time I looked at them I felt good. Now when I think back to that time, what I remember most is the power I felt at taking care of my own wants and needs.
I had learned to take care of myself, to give myself gifts. I learned to give myself what I needed instead of waiting around for others to give it to me.
It began with a small bunch of flowers and grew into full personal and spiritual independence.
We were taught that we had to wait to be told how wonderful and loved we are. But we don't, not anymore. We can love, respect and appreciate ourselves just as we are.
Teach your children that it is okay to buy themselves a nice card or a small gift simply because they are worth it. Teach your children to do nice things for themselves as well as others. Teach them that they do not have to spend their life waiting for someone to give them these things.
Think of the special things you can do for yourself. If you have a special someone, that is a bonus. But, the only person who stays with us from the time we are born until the day we die is our own self. Shouldn't we appreciate that special person too. Give yourself a gift.
Your story reminds me of a character in a book I read once. Her parents were abusive and she ran away from home when she was 16. She had no one else in her life, so she would have things delivered to herself; cards in the mail, presents, even lingerie. Flowers sent from the flower shop and she would sign the cards, "Love, Me".
She never felt alone or unloved.
Now, I know this is a character in a book but that has stuck with me through the years. Just because we tend to forget the the most important relationship we will ever have, is the one we have with ourselves.
It sounds like you have an awesome relationship going. It's a wonderful thing!!
Location: Now hailing from St. Petersburg, Florida US of A, North America, planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy.
Posts: 2,284
I think that's great. Every now and then you have to do something for you and you have to accept that it's okay. With good intentions were told not to be selfish and think of others but nobody evers says, "Think of yourself first." In the travels through life you will meet and have many relationships with family and friends. Some will last years and some will last months but there is only one person you will spend your entire life with. Yourself. And it's okay to take care of yourself. In fact it's probably long overdue so be selfish once an awhile.
I often buy myself flowers. As well as send them to others, especially as a "just cos' I likes you" deal. Treating all of us well is a good and easy thing to do, once I cleaned out the fear and resentment bins! Being an "Ayn Rand" type politically, its one of the few areas I enjoy putting my money into. LOL The cultivating and gifting of flowers is such a worthy thing to support of the "indulgent" catagory, in my book. All around healthy and non fattening!!
We can love, respect and appreciate ourselves just as we are.
Isn't that what changes everything?
Isn't that where the really healthy stuff originates from?
Isn't that where we all could be, given an amazingly small personal effort?
Great topic, Rose. And you couldn't have said it more beautifully too.
Enlightenment is such an equal opportunity feel-good and do-good deal.
It's a wonderful thing!!
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