I'm hoping someone can help me here.

Background on me: 28 female, married with a 2 year old child.

I have a friend that I went to college with and got back in contact with about 3 years ago. Right around that time I got pregnant, and I also got her a job at the company where I work. My entire pregnancy she irritated and bothered me with her work ethics and the way she was suffocating me. When I went on maternity leave (it's a year here in Canada) it helped alot and we started spending a lot of time together. I eventually got back to work and last August she got engaged adn asked me to be her MOH. I said yes. She has been a bridezilla. She has been a horrible employee. She gets jealous when I eat lunch with my husband instead of her during the week. She is rude to my new next door neighbor becuase she thinks she'll take me away from her. It's insane. I don't agree with a lot of her work ethics/life ethics but since she is such an agressive and smothering person I just keep my mouth shut. She is always trying to pit me against my employers, my husband and anyone other than her. She's very negative and I find myself being a horrible person when I am with her.

Her wedding is in September. I am having anxiety attacks, my depression is getting worse and I am having a really hard time being her friend. I want to break up with her but am having difficulty with it because we work together and because I am in her wedding.

Does anyone have any advice for me on how to do it, whether or not to do it etc?

rrt69

I think since she your friend you should sit her down and have a long chat with you and make her listen. If that dont work keep trying You might be only friend and doesn't know how to make friend with others. And maybe you be honest with her from the start as a friend you should tell how you feel.

sweety

I KIND OF WENT THRU THE SAME THING WITH MY MATE, SHE WAS JEALOUS OF ME AND MY MAN!LOL!
i think u shud chat to ur mate and open up and let her no how u feel, if she's ur true mate she wud understand and stop feeling insecure and selfish.

artistall

You need some really good advice on this! You are having anxeity attacks because you are torn between your friendship and your sensible logic that your friend is out of control. Your friend obviously has some real issues concerning her behaviour on many fronts. She might be reaching out in the wrong way for attention and/or is experiencing severe insecurity issues that she learned to internalize years ago! However, the main concern here for me right now is getting you to stop having anxiety as it is detrimental to your health and your emotional well being!! SO! Calm down and look at this in a pragmatic way! All the problems seem to point in the direction of your friend and in fact there is no Cause and Effect on Your part. Free yourself and step outside of the box for a moment. Whatever happens in the final outcome of all this will ultimately have little or no affect on you. If your friend feels hurt then that is something she will have to deal with not you. Once you realize that your anxiety will cease. Now! what to do about helping your friend. If you are the closest to her then you should be the one to confront the issues. However, remember that you are not the only one that recognizes her problems so be sure to let her know that there are several people who are less than happy with her behavior. This will distribute her reaction and you wont become the sole target of her backlash should there be any. Try to have a peaceful confrontation if possible by letting her know before hand that there is a problem that you need to discuss before you get together in person. That will give her time to think! Let her know right away that you are her friend and that you thought she should know how everyone feels. It is likely that she may explode with anger but I can't say without the knowledge of her maturity level. If she gets really angry and it turns out to be an ugly affair then tell her your sorry that she feels that way and say goodbye! (have an exit excuse ready) Contact her later by phone or letter and remove yourself greacefully from the wedding party! I hope this works for you. The ground is shakey but you need to stop walking on eggshells!! Let me know how it goes!