Hi everybody. I think I have a problem but to be honest I'm not even sure it should be something to be worried about! I think I'm turning into a man!!

I am a 20 year old female student from the UK. I am straight and I have lots of friends of both sexes from all corners of the earth. I am not seeing anyone right now...(I was dumped by my boyfriend of 2 years a couple of months ago, he found a new girl, cheated on me with her).

My self-esteem/confidence has taken a bit of a thrashing, and recently I have begun to question myself a little. I am tall and slender with a natural athletic build. I am pretty flat-chested (32B) and I have quite a low (husky) voice. I always wear jeans and tshirts/baggy sweaters with old, battered trainers. I don't wear much make-up as I am extremely pale and any form of makeup seems to look worse on me. My shins and arms always have bruises and scrapes on them because I am so clumsy.

Personality-wise, I am smart, and I am honest, to the point of being blunt. I am easy to talk to and I try to solve things practically using logic. I am always the matchmaker, but never the one being matched. I have a very high sex drive, and I always enjoyed sex with my boyfriend (he was my first). I have a filthy sense of humour and I litter my conversations with swear words and slang (with the right people). I enjoy talking about books, computer games, music and life in general with people, and my habits (unfortunately) include constantly sniffling, biting my nails and chewing the skin on my lips.

Before the break-up I hardly noticed these things. My ex dumped me for a very girly girl however and my world has fallen apart. The comparisons don't seem to stop. She almost falls over the guys who flock round her, whereas I just fall over. She wear little skirts with cute tights and boots, has rosy skin, beautiful eyes and a girly giggle. I wear scruffy jeans, men's socks, worn-out trainers, I have too much eyebrow hair and sometimes I oink when I laugh. Honestly.

I always knew it wasn't my looks that he fell for, it was my personality (although he told me differently), but I feel that this is a wake-up call to change myself a just a little. I am a really masculine girl, a real tomboy, and I get the idea that men do not want tomboys, they want nice, soft, squidgy, girly girls to cuddle up to sometimes...

Although I am not actively seeking a boyfriend, and I certainly do not want my ex back in my life, I suddenly feel that all of the nice guys are passing me by because I look so rough! I would never undergo anything drastic, but my mother has even been commenting on how a little fake tan and a few skirts wouldn't go amiss. It's like a horror film.

So, should I try to scrub up a little better, or should I stay the way I am?? I am so confused!!

s_cianci

I'm sure you're a very good person at heart but it might not hurt you to try and "scrub up" a little better. All of us at one time or another could use some self-improvement, regardless of what current humanistic philosophies try to make us believe, that we're just fine the way we are and that people should be abel to accept us for who we are, etc., etc. Sure, we all have a right to be treated with basic dignity and respect but that doesn't mean there's no reason for us to polish up our act a bit.

Captain_Brown

I don't think you are turning into a man. Everyone has a different voice. Just be you.

LUNAGODDESS

OK, first hit yourself in the head... no penis you are a woman...take a bath ...dress like you want to and go about your life...someone else will come about and see what they want...If you feel like dressing to the nine...then do so...do not make yourself uncomfortable...let's try this do what you feel today...

elocin7306

In all that, ask yourself this. Have you always had the desire to be a man? I have dry humped with a my penis a female (my penis is a sock), and I enjoy it. I have been doing this since I have been 5 years old, in my my quiet time, when no one else is around. I totally get off on having male equipment down there, and think that one day I will wake up and this nightmare of woman hood will be over, where I will look down, and my penis will be back.

oneguyinohio

Too bad you're an ocean away, and only half my age or I might have to go ga-ga for you... Kind of reminds me of a ens novel in some ways where the main character is in raggy clothes but is really of royalty... maybe it's got something to do with the UK and all that you mentioned. When I was in college, I always fell for the athletic type girl who wore exactly what you described... problem was that they did not fall for me and I became the joke, especially when one of them had a girl friend who chased me away with a ball bat... but anyways, I say go with what you are comfortable with doing as well as remembering that it doesn't hurt to experiment with a new style... you could even do it so gradually that no one will notice... unless you want to make an appearance as the princess that no one will recognize?? If you do the changes, you'll be more self conscious of it and might even read things into people's actions that aren't even true because of the self consciousness... but try to remember that if people are so busy with their own lives that they don't have time to notice the styles you choose to try out, then that would be normal... if they do notice all the little things you do, then they are paying some pretty close attention to you for some reason??? Enjoy it, and let them eat their hearts out... be free to do what you want. And if the guy trys to take credit for what ever changes you try for your self, then let it be known that he wasn't worth making the changes for, and now that he is out of your life, you feel better about doing more to pamper your self... to be pleasing to yourself... and whoever you might decide to spend your time with in the future...

I personally dont think that appearances make the individual as much as their character and all that is inside...

N0help4u

If you are feeling less than feminine and want to feel more feminine Clean up and do more girl type things as long as you are comfortable with them. You can wear casual clothes like a flannel shirt and jeans and still be as feminine as the cutesy girls. Its all in your attitude.
I wear flannel shirts, Levi's and work boots and do men's work AND I AM N0T a women lib. OH AND I HATE my voice. Do some feminine type things like soak in the tub with lavender oil, put your hair up sometimes or let it down, pamper yourself and BE yourself.
I AM woman and proud of it!

My son who is in Iraqi right now will (to be silly) wear a pink baseball cap or pink T shirt and say "I am comfortable with MY masculinity"
He has a point!