Hi what is the best way to apologise to an ex and get her talking to you, if she is ignoring you.

I was horrible and want to make up for it! But she is not speaking, ignores my mail and texts. I have sent a mail saying I was wrong and apologised but it does not make a difference.

Surly if someone is admitting there wrong that should count for something?

Women, your hard to understand ? Please help.

Sorry to be blunt but... you have already apologized by mail. Now... leave her alone. She obviously isn't ready to talk to you.

My ex did this and it ANNOYED the heck out of me. The more he tried to contact me... the more annoyed with him I got! Seriously!

My advice... leave her alone. She will talk to you when she is ready to.

Give her time to find it in herself to forgive you. You have apologized and made it clear
That you are sorry. Give her a little space without having your incoming messages floating in her head.

I would maybe recommend, one more note to her. Just so your going silent, all of a sudden, is not misinterpreted by her. Send her one more BRIEF note, letting her know that you still are sorry and you want to give her the space she needs to understand. To just go quiet all of a sudden may not give the right impression and may fuel her being upset even more.

But after that, you have to stick to it and give her space. Hard to do, but it is important.

Sorry you are in the dog house.

Hey.. you answered my post so I'm answering yours... What kind of girl is she.. is she a compassionate person.. understanding heart?? What did you do that she is now your ex?? Did you guys mutually break up.. Were you the one to break it off?? If she is not responding, she is probably either annoyed... or she is trying to figure things out.. I do think that she is thinking about you and probably thinking about the situation... If you want to be romantic about it... and also what I would like if this were me... Just go to see her... show up at her door... flowers and the works... write down what u want to say first on a piece of paper and need be, bring it with you... wear your heart on her sleeve... tell her what it is about her that makes you want her back... but you have to trust in yourself and tell her that you are going to give 100% to the relationship to fix things and have her forgive you... There is a possibility that she will not care, but if you do it sincerely and the right way, I think you will work things out... YOu are the man... you must step up to the plate... Emails are dumb.. they are just typing words.. even though most of us could get thoughts out better this way... they are still just informal.. you need to see her face to face... In my situation, I wrote the emails while he didn't call for days... but I did it so I would be in his head and he would think of me... and I'm sure in your case.. she is... Now, I just have to wait for him... remember... me... the one with the bipolar boyfriend... :)

Onlineguy,
I am not sure what you did to hurt her or how you went about apologizing, but it is very apparent that you have let it be known you are sorry.. she knows.
If you continue to push at her you are going to annoy her and she will never come around.
You really need to give her space to let her think things through. Whatever happened between you is obviously enough to break things off and have her ignoring you- so she needs time to adapt to these changes and figure out how she will deal with them.

If you keep apologizing and asking for a response she is going to get fed up and just walk away completely... if she has not already. The most mature thing you can do is let her be. Don't put any more pressure on her, and hopefully she will come around and talk to you again.

I know girls can be confusing, but always remember it goes both ways. Its human nature to not always understand another person... we are all different and we all handle situations differently. That is just something you must get used to and respect... the more you can respect other peoples responses the better you will understand them.

Best of luck!

SINGLE4 answered your question perfectly. Leave her alone.

Maybe contact her ONCE in SIX months.

What don't you get about annoying? Believe me from my many experiences you can never CONVIENCE an ex to like you again... once you MOVE on thye may come back - but only then.

Give her some time to forgive you.. Time may mean months as Wildcat suggests.

The damage is done, more damage will be created if you try to push her to forgive you.

Time is a good healer in most cases.

I've tried everything in the book to get certain EXs back - only thing that worked was time.

Dang, every answer here is perfect, well except for one!!

You also need to understand that they are ex's for a reason.

Yes, we are women, we are hard to understand, well, men are hard for women to understand too. LOL

Anyway, apparently you did something to hurt her and she is ready for No Contact.

If I were her, I would feel like I was being stalked. If I want out of a relationship I do not want contact from the other person so that I have time to heal. You are not giving her time to heal by emailing and whatever.

You need to understand that she may never want to get back together, but that is her choice and nothing you can do will change her mind. I never got back with any of my ex's and the reason being was that there was too much past to begin a new future. She may feel the same.

You can never go back and change the past, what is done is done. Although there may be forgiveness, it will remain in her memory.

I definitely think that you should give her time... I don't mean go knocking on her door tomorrow... but when it comes to that point or if it does, you should do it... I just say that because you might regret how you feel later... not the best advice I guess since someone said all the answers but "mine" apparently were perfect... but everyone is different and when it comes to love, sometimes you just have to take a chance... kind of like what you told me... at least maybe then you will have some kind of closure. I say you give her plenty of time and then make your last move.

Yep, yeah, right. She could be with another man and that man could open the door, then it would open up a whole new can of worms.

Just give her space, leave her alone, she will come to you if she wants to. You already made an apology and made your feelings known. Now it is time to make a life of your own, as she has already done.

She will come to you if and when she wants to.

The only thing you can hope for by no contact is shemay miss you and think you were sincere.

But you didn't give us details of the break why?

Yes..

What was it that you realise you were wrong for.

What did you say/do?

There are different degrees of what is considered wrong and this will dicatate what degree of forgiveness that is required.

More info..

They are not so hard to understand, if you take the time to listen, and communicate properly. Without real communication, and listening, everyone is hard to understand, male or female.

Learn this and you will be better equipped to deal with situations like this.

I have followed the advise given about not keeping in touch, (This no contact) but to be honest I can't see how this lets the person know you want them back. Or want to win back there love. It appears to give the opposite impression. That you don't give a **** about them.

I can see about not driving them further away, by backing off and giving them space, but surly no contact just leaves them not thinking about you and meeting someone else. What's the point in that !

That's not an expression of love, wanting to be with someone!! It's the opposite - your saying to her I don't want to be with you - I am moving on, looking for another.

That's not the impression I want to portray??


DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT WINNING BACK AN EX OR IS THIS JUST NOT POSSIBLE ?

HAS ANYONE ACTUALLY DONE THIS AND HOW?


(Sorry if this sounds harsh, but all the stories on here are repeating the same thing, none of them give an answer).

No Contact is not about getting someone back in your life, it's about cutting them out and getting on with your life and your healing. You're completely right, and that's the way it's supposed to be. If someone dumps you then you should move on because they obviously don't care about you anymore. That's what No Contact is about.

Winning back an Ex is possible, but if they dumped you there must be a reason, and unless that thing has genuinely changed, I see not much of a reason to go back. Find someone who will love you for who you are.

There's a lot of good answers and truth in the answers you received in your other post, please read them and take note.

Maybe others will have advice to share about winning someone back.

As Capunchin already said... NC needs to be about making yourself better for now. You have to genuinely work on yourself and everything around you will fall into place. After being dumped the last thing your ex wants to see is you running back to them as the same poor pathetic person you were before... b/c they are smart enough to know you two will inevitably fall back into the same rut.

First you have to prove to work on yourself and become more confident and positive and just disapper for a while. If your ex really cares for you, she will reach out soon enough to see how have you been. If you can SHOW (not TELL) someone that you are fine without them, that often makes you more attractive to that person. People always want what they can't have. Make yourself unavailable and use this time to become the best YOU that you can be.

Believe me I know it's hard staying away, but it's the best thing you can right now for yourself and your relationship. Always make sure you BE the new you... don't tell someone you have changed, you have to show it. Let them figure it out on their own... it's the only way.

The ex who dumps you wants you out of their life for a reason, so you give that to them. Contacting the ex will only prolong your pain and prevent you from moving on. This is why No Contact is spread around as valuable advice on this website. No contact is not a way to win back the ex. It is true that an ex is more likely to miss you if you stay out of contact, that is true.

The relationship though was broken for a reason. Unless major changes have been made by both parties in the relationship, any hope of successful reconciliation is sadly not possible. Both would just fall back into the same patterns again and this would result in another break-up.

Perhaps they need to meet someone else to make comparisons and become aware of what it is they really want. Maybe they will realise that their new partner is what they want.

What you must do though is begin the process of moving on and forget the idea of winning the ex back through staying out of contact. It will prevent you from finding that special person who can appreciate you for who you are and not what they want you to be at this point in their life.

I hope this advice helps you. I will keep an eye on your thread and see if I can add anything more to it.

You still didn't tell us the reason for the breakup!
How come?

?? I don't get it !

I agree with what you are saying about space and healing and all. But when I have finished a girl and there is no feelings there, I don't give a damm if she is in a good place or a bad place, or if she contactS me or not. So why should my ex give a damm about me !

So presuming that there is no feeling or little feeling there from her, and mine is how do you get her back to having feelings ? WIN BACK HER LOVE !

HOW DOES NO CONTACT ACHIEVE THIS ? (it just gives her the impression, well he obviously did not care that much, so why should I - I will just find someone else).

We fell out over an agruement over ex's. And I was horrible. Regret it now like.