Advice from women needed.

onlineguy · Sep 15, 2009, 12:48 PM

If a guy is physically attracted to a girl he will have the emotional desire to get to know her. (Shyness not prevailing) he will initiate some form of contact.

If he then likes her personality he will then be more emotionaly drawn to her, spending time with her, going out with her. Etc etc.

(Ie, He has initial percieved emotional value in appearance, then greater percieved emotional value in her personality. This high value is an attraction needed for love, which is after all a strong emotional connection to another based on high value of attraction and emotional connection). Continuation by positive interest, time and rewarding experiences which increases percieve sub consious emotional value. (Feelings of love).

MY QUESTIONS ARE :
Is it the same or any different for women ?
If it is the same (shyness prevailing) then why don't women initiate ! Or do they ?

Fr_Chuck · Sep 15, 2009, 12:49 PM

It is often a matter of culture, and nationality. Also social pressures and even culture within economic groups

kalenda · Oct 8, 2009, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rol

Have you ever tried asking one of them out?
Just do it confidently and with humour.

Having failed a few times does not mean you will always fail.Besides try to check out on your personal short coming and work on your personal image and your worthness

One could overcome by first dealing with your past history if that is part of the cause.Accept that things happened in the past and so they should not affect your future.Purpose to accept yourself because your worthnes,security and love does not depend on the reactions of others towards you but what you believe your maker says about you

Shyness could be as a result of arrested development during growth engagement in activities which are interactive like sports could help to bring out ones confidence especially when one begins score or win in some events

vintagedoll1940 · Oct 11, 2009, 09:16 PM

Not sure if I understand but since I read your post it would be nice to reply.

I don't think men are the only one who make the first move.
Some women make the first move.
Some times they are both afraid to make the first move.
As for the whole value idea men some times think there to important and being a 18 year old teen dealing with high school boys I can honestly say the whole value thing comes from witch ever one thinks looks better then the other...

Hope you can read some of my posts and answere because we can really relate them and share ideas.

Much love

onlineguy · Oct 14, 2009, 12:40 PM

If a guy is a nice bloke, why would a woman not be flattered and complimented by his attention !

If attracted to beautiful woman, which is natural and the first stage of attraction, then liking her personality to move to an emotional / physical connection. But !

Beautiful women not attracted to man, then what is the way forward ?

Settle with someone not attractive / live alone or face continues rejection ?

What sort of life is that, no future, no prospect of family.... No point to continue, nothing to continue for.

jaime90 · Oct 14, 2009, 01:33 PM

Because maybe she feels like you're pursuing her. Maybe she feels like she just wants to be friends and you're pushing it. Maybe she just thinks you're a creeper. Maybe she has a boyfriend and doesn't want to express how flattered she is, or maybe she simply doesn't feel flattered at all. It depends completely on what type of woman you're dealing with, what her situation is, what mood she was in, and probably a million other variables.

jaime90 · Oct 27, 2009, 05:05 PM

A beautiful woman is not attracted to a specific man so she will settle with someone not attractive and live alone to face continuous rejection?

Um, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. If a woman isn't attracted to one man, maybe this just isn't her type of man! She has a whole world of guys out there- and one of them is her soul mate. There are many options out there for a beautiful woman. I don't quite understand why this question is so difficult for you to figure out.....

Alty · Oct 27, 2009, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onlineguy

If attracted to beautiful woman, which is natural and the first stage of attraction, then liking her personality to move to an emotional / physical connection. But !

Beautiful women not attracted to man, then what is the way forward ?

Settle with someone not attractive / live alone or face continues rejection ?

What sort of life is that, no future, no prospect of family.... No point to continue, nothing to continue for.

Okay, let me see if I got this straight.

You're attracted to a beautiful woman but she isn't attracted to you.

Now you want to know if you should settle for someone not attractive or live alone or keep trying with the woman that isn't attracted to you and face rejection.

If I got it right then here's my advice.

1. Write clearer so that we can understand what you're asking.

2. There are other women out there, a lot of attractive women, but I would suggest being a little less shallow and stop focusing on the outward appearance only.

Are you also saying that if you can't have this one specific woman then your have no future?

A little dramatic, aren't you?

Gemini54 · Oct 27, 2009, 06:17 PM

Er, this seems to be a theme through a range of the threads you've started.

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...le-374958.html
http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/...en-277329.html
http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/...me-178834.html
http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...up-262115.html

I have to ask - why is beauty SO important? Why do you believe that your life would be less that perfect if you don't have a beautiful woman, and have (heaven forbid) a less attractive woman?

I just don't get why this is SO important to you. I would have thought that kindness, consideration, sense of humor, intelligence and balance (to name a few) would have been far more important qualities in a prospective partner than 'beauty'.

There are so many beautiful people out there - they may not have perfect eyes, noses, or bodies but they are genuine loving human beings. Sadly you're not able to see them because of your blind obsession.

Until you do some deep thinking about yourself and your superficial motivations you will never attract anyone 'beautiful' into your life. The people you meet will only reflect your own superficiality back to you, and you will continue to be unhappy because of your unrealistic expectations.

Is this how you want your life to be?

Gemini54 · Oct 27, 2009, 07:29 PM

I forgot to add - as I don't want to keep banging on about this - that when you love someone they are beautiful to you!

I think that my husband is just gorgeous and when I look at him, although he's not Brad Pitt, I think he's the most handsome man in the world.

Advice from women needed.

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