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    shotgunray's Avatar
    shotgunray Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #41

    Feb 11, 2008, 01:49 PM
    Hey guys

    This is going to sound really weird but I am in the same sort of dilemma, only being a bloke it is even weirder. No one knows I have never had a girlfriend, and no one would ever believe me if I told them. I am a really confident, professional chap (and to be honest pretty bloody hot) , and I always command a lot of attention from women. The reason I have never had a girlfriend is because for some reason - I am wired differently from other people. I have come to terms with that now, and never sold myself cheaply. I do search for someone who is similar to me, and has no baggage (no previous boyfriends) what so ever, and preferably someone who has never even been on a date. But finding someone like that is basically... well... impossible.

    It stems back to watching my parents divorce and I promised myself that I would never become like them. Without having a choice, I evolved to look for someone who would be 'my own' and not tainted. I am not religious at all, and most people would assume that I am 'a player', but I never follow through when I chat up women.

    It is hard for a woman, but even harder for a guy who is... 28.

    It is just the way we are wired, and it is not a bad thing. I think that people like us who have made the sacrifices 100% get someone decent in the end. You ladies are a really really rare, and I promise you the right bloke at the right time, will come along, you just need to wait. Perhaps you were designed for someone. Who knows.


    Ray
    Questions2007's Avatar
    Questions2007 Posts: 127, Reputation: 26
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    #42

    Feb 12, 2008, 04:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by witrav
    I am 27, smart, funny, and am beginning to better appreciate my looks. I run a lot, do the makeup/hair thing on the weekends and have scores of friends. People are naturally attracted to me on a friendship level because I really love connecting with people and am very much an extrovert. But, I have incredibly low self-esteem. My friends tell me that I push guys away as a defense mechanism, but honestly, I don't think any guy has ever tried to get close enough to me for me to get the chance to push him away. Although a lot of my friends are paired off/married, I am not desperate to land a man or get married just because of my age. I just want to know what it feels like to have a boyfriend--just once! I just want to know what it feels like to have a guy like me, be interested in me, etc.

    Do you think there is someone out there for everyone? I guess maybe I sound good on paper but I am lacking in other stuff necessary to be attractive to the other sex. Do you think my chances have passed or do I still have a shot at something special? How come no one wants anything to do with me?
    Personally I don't think it is an issue. Many guys would see it as a positive that you don't have the baggage from past relationships that often messes things up!

    Keep being yourself and someone will come along when the time is right. Although if the self esteem is leading you to push people away or leads you to have unrealistic expectations then you may wish to be positive and try and resolve that e.g. through counselling.
    Buggy80's Avatar
    Buggy80 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #43

    Mar 7, 2008, 04:43 AM
    I am 27 and am in the same boat. Now I fear that I will never meet anyone because I'm just too embarrassed to admit it, and therefore don't want to get close to people. I feel better getting that off my chest even if it is just in the safety of this forum. Thanks for starting this thread.
    ijm770's Avatar
    ijm770 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #44

    Mar 7, 2008, 06:22 AM
    Agree with questions and other posters, as a guy, it would definitely not put me off anyone the fact that they never had a boyfriend before, it would be so refreshing I think to meet someone with less baggae from previous relationships, of course they would have baggage from childhood etc but who hasn't!

    I'm a guy who met my ex (we split up recently, hence me visiting this forum) after having one previous serious relationship, my ex. Said that the fact I had little or no bagge from previous relationships was a very good thing. This first serious relationship was at 27 and it was hard not particularly because I hadn't had any experience of relationships before that! I also didn't have sex until I was 26, so I was not experienced at all, but in my (limited ;p ) experience, great sex doesn't depend on how many partners you have had previously, just about the two people involved!

    Don't be in a hurry to jump into bed with a guy! Get involved with other things, enrich your life with your hobbies, friends, travel, whatever... and as people have said here things will happen when you least expect it!!
    Le Petite's Avatar
    Le Petite Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #45

    Mar 12, 2008, 08:11 PM
    I'm in the same boat as you. I'm actually 25yrs old. I've never had a boyfriend and I am a virgin. I was actaully crying yesterday because I came to a realisation that I would be single and alone until I die. I know a lot of times I enjoy being by myself but I also dream,wish and even hope that I will meet someone who will sweep me off my feet. Some dream huh?lol Than I thought maybe its me? Maybe my fate is to be alone. Maybe I am made to live alone. Than there is that fiery side of me that wants the passion and love of a man. I think its just something that I will have a hard time excepting... I am made to live alone in this life.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #46

    Mar 12, 2008, 08:38 PM
    First off bravo for posting there is no shame it not having a boyfriend at your age. Hell it take some people 40 to 60 years to find the right person.

    You enjoy your life you have goals and your onto other things. You will get there and you will get the right person :)
    Le Petite's Avatar
    Le Petite Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #47

    Mar 13, 2008, 02:49 PM
    Well thank you. You are very sweet.:)
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #48

    Mar 15, 2008, 11:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Le Petite
    I'm in the same boat as you. I'm actually 25yrs old. I've never had a boyfriend and I am a virgin. I was actaully crying yesterday because I came to a realisation that I would be single and alone until I die. I know a lot of times I enjoy being by myself but I also dream,wish and even hope that I will meet someone who will sweep me off my feet. Some dream huh?lol Than I thought maybe its me? Maybe my fate is to be alone. Maybe I am made to live alone. Than there is that fiery side of me that wants the passion and love of a man. I think its just something that I will have a hard time excepting......I am made to live alone in this life.
    A couple of things I want to tell you.

    As a man I can assure you that a 25 year without a past is actually very attractive. I'm not putting you down when I say this and I know I can't know you from a little post on a website but it comes across like this might be the focus of your life as opposed to just being a reality. In other words you appear to think way too much about this issue about being alone and that, in fact only helps to create your reality. Find some things that you will enjoy, even if it is alone and allow yourself to grow from with in as opposed to seeking your fate from the outside. What you describe is nothing to cry over, or even put too much stress or thought into, which is what it appears your focus seems to be. I guess what I'm saying is focus on the positive you have going for you and not the negative which really isn't that big of a negative, if it is one at all.
    tami1985's Avatar
    tami1985 Posts: 17, Reputation: 5
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    #49

    Jun 28, 2008, 02:03 PM
    God I was actually really happy when I found this thread. So there are others who are on the same boat.

    I now people say wait and Mr. Right would eventually show up. For some people I think this happens but for others maybe their idea of love and marriage will never ideally be achieved. I guess you just have to work on it.

    Go out to different place, online dating, asking friends and family to introduce you to different people ( I guess it would be kind of embarrassing but you might find the right person, so its worth it).

    I should probably take my own advice though.
    star soaked sky's Avatar
    star soaked sky Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #50

    Jun 28, 2008, 04:31 PM
    Don't worry too much. When the right guy comes along u'll know it!
    kiksvegas's Avatar
    kiksvegas Posts: 3, Reputation: 5
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    #51

    Sep 21, 2008, 12:21 PM
    Glad to have found this... I am in the same boat with just turning 27 years old (female) and never having a boyfriend and all that goes with that. Would just like some reassurance that it will happen and what can I do to hurry it along!
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #52

    Sep 21, 2008, 12:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by kiksvegas View Post
    Glad to have found this...I am in the same boat with just turning 27 years old (female) and never having a boyfriend and all that goes with that. Would just like some reassurance that it will happen and what can I do to hurry it along!
    Sorry about that I have a new computer and did not get to finish my rating before I hit the wrong button. What I was saying was, where are you women because many honorable, well adjusted men (and yes we certainly could argue there are few of them) would cherish a female with no past. Honestly, if you see my answer from a few months ago, I stand by that, focusing on being a virgin or having no past as a negative couldn't be more wrong. That is to be celebrated and appreciated. I would love to find a girl with no past or at the very least no baggage that she's holding onto and using it on me. I swear you ladies don't know what you've got and how much a good guy would look up to you for it.
    Lizzie08's Avatar
    Lizzie08 Posts: 1, Reputation: 2
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    #53

    Sep 24, 2008, 06:26 AM

    This thread is great! It's nice to know that some men are attracted to virgins. I am 27 too and feel there is something wrong with me. I've dated a few guys (2 of these guys was from online dating), and we just didn't seem to have much in common at all, there was never that spark, so I've never been in love and feel like I am never ever going to find that someone. I've started to think I might be happier if I just give up and stop looking, but then there are times of loneliness. I recently dated this guy for 2 weeks and was almost going to sleep with him just to get my first time out of the way and also so I would be more 'wanted' until a friend of mine talked me out of it pointing out that 'that isn't me', and because I didn't sleep with that guy, he dumped me... that made me feel real good, not. I worry that people think I'm weird but really it's something that just can't be controlled, I have to keep thinking that it will happen some day, so I relate to many of your stories, thank you for sharing.
    kiksvegas's Avatar
    kiksvegas Posts: 3, Reputation: 5
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    #54

    Sep 24, 2008, 09:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by PaxRomana View Post
    Oh one other note. I'll go out with any virgin that's interested in me, I'll be your first and I'll treat you like a queen not a slab of meat. That's to any virgin females on here but it's if the beautiful poster of the message I'm replying to doesn't want me.

    You are all so cool!
    This is interesting... where the heck are you guys at... this is my question...
    QUACKERS's Avatar
    QUACKERS Posts: 13, Reputation: 0
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    #55

    Sep 27, 2008, 05:03 PM

    Hi Don't worry you have many admirers but you may be a bit too much of a extrovert and the boys probably start treating you as one of the lads show a few crocodile tears and see the boys come running to cuddle you. Chris
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #56

    Sep 28, 2008, 04:55 AM

    What's interesting is the OP posted here two year's ago and never came back. The poor girl will never realize how many guys are really interested in her.
    Universal Peace's Avatar
    Universal Peace Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #57

    Oct 23, 2008, 10:45 PM
    I'm 26 and it seems as if we're in exactly the same boat. I seem to be OK with just having a lot of friends, but once in a while, I kind of do wish I could have a boyfriend. It would be nice to have someone to talk to apart from friends, family, and associates. I had conservative parents who didn't allow me to date in high school and even my freshman year of college, so that may have something to do with my still single status.. . honestly... I've seen so many friends go from boyfriend to boyfriend, and there seems to be no point. Seems like people are better off remaining single, than being with someone who will only cause them misery somewhere along the timeline.

    Take care :)
    smithette's Avatar
    smithette Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #58

    Nov 27, 2008, 12:31 AM
    I am 19 and in the same situation.

    I have had a problem with shyness for most of my life and since I have started to see an improvement in this area, I still haven't found anyone... I never know if I am coming off as too aggressive or too quiet or as not being interested. It's all to complicated and I can't read faces or body language well

    I hope that the men replying to this question are sincere in their replies and that there are more of them in the world than I have had the pleasure of experiencing, because reading over what they have said has been a breath of fresh air.

    I am just wondering, what is it about a virgin or a girl who has never had a kiss or a boyfriend that is so appealing to you guys? Because in my experience it just seems like guys want to have the girls that seem to be "in demand" with other guys.

    Glad to know I am not alone, thank you so much for starting this conversation. God knows there is no one else for me to talk to about this.

    Thank you.
    EN Ken's Avatar
    EN Ken Posts: 67, Reputation: 6
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    #59

    Nov 27, 2008, 12:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smithette View Post
    I am just wondering, what is it about a virgin or a girl who has never had a kiss or a boyfriend that is so appealing to you guys?
    A girl who is a virgin usually has a certain innocence about her that makes her seem extra feminine which is extremely attractive to some men.

    Quote Originally Posted by smithette View Post
    Because in my experience it just seems like guys want to have the girls that seem to be "in demand" with other guys.
    For other men, they want a woman who is more worldly.

    Speaking as a man who has dated several virgins, as well as, many more non-virgins, if I were to meet a girl who, at the age of 27, were still a virgin my initial reaction would be "Why?"

    Having dated the women I've dated in the situations I've dated them in, I know that women are on the receiving end of a lot of sexual attention and a woman who is still a virgin at the age of 27 is most likely so by choice which is why I would want to know why.

    I can understand a girl being 22 and a virgin because maybe she was too caught up in school and such to have a boyfriend, but at 27 that's really pushing it. In my experience, people (both men and women) who have not had sex by the age of 22 usually become stranger and stranger as time passes.
    SunGirl's Avatar
    SunGirl Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #60

    Dec 7, 2008, 02:22 AM

    Hi witrav, I'm almost in the same situation. I'm 22, never had a boyfriend and I'm still a virgin. My friends also say I push guys away and that if I wanted I would be surrounded by guys. One of my best friend said that it's because of my dad. I don't really know him and when we talked about it she said I look kind of disappointed and that guys will always have a very hard starting point with me. I'm just hoping that when I'm finished with school next summer and start working maybe I'll change a bit and find a guy. So, you're definitely not alone with this problem.

    P.S. I'm from Germany so excuse my grammar mistakes.

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