Why does my dad hate me?

I don't know why you did not go and go stay gone if the situation was this bad with your father. What possible benefit, after you found out what it was like with the relationship, was served after you moved back in at 22.

What does he do, offer unsolicited advice, come up and tap you on the shoulder and tell you how unworthy you are ? Or do you constantly seek his attention and advice and get what you have explained ? And if so, why bother if you know what the answer will be.

I don't understand your plight, really, why not just distance yourself from him and be done with it. Are you that downtrodden that you want to stay and receive further punishment from him?

Open your own business, be the best you can be without his input, why do you need it anyway, you are an adult, act like one.

Tick

I think you should go after your dreams and don't let your father drag you down with all of this negativity. He obviously has issues and takes them out on you but you must realise that you are not his punching bag.
He might be your father and I'm sure you care for him but you should finally start taking care of yourself and consider your own needs for once. Don't let him take your decisions for you. If you want to do something, go for it and don't expect your father's approval to do so. Do what makes you happy and if your dad doesn't approve, it's his problem.
You should take control of your own life. Do it for yourself and your wife, who I'm guessing isn't happy by watching her husband being so miserable.
Unfortunately, your father is who he is and I seriously doubt it if he'll ever change. I understand that you are traumatised after all you've been and still go through but the past is the past and cannot change. But you shouldn't ruin your present and future by worrying too much about what your father thinks of you.
We all carry our demons but we should move on with our lives and try for the best.
You have a wife now who's counting on you. Don't make the same mistakes your father did with his family. It's not your fault that your father treats you the way he does and you can do nothing else about it. You've sacrificed a lot of things you liked for him already and nothing changed. He's still complaining and making your life miserable.
Unfortunately, we must just deal with certain things in life and you must deal with the fact that your father is who he is, but don't let him make you feel like a loser anymore.
Fight to achieve your goals and keep around you people who care about you and believe in you instead the ones who hurt you. And be for your wife and future children the great husband and father, your father never was to you and your family.
Good luck in everything you do!

My dad was a failure as a father, a failure at work, a failure at pretty much everything. What does he do? Tries to make everyone around him feel like a failure to boost his own fragile ego.

Sure when I was a kid I used to bend over backwards to win his approval. Did it ever work? No.

Know what I figured out one day? That he actually was afraid of me succeeding and wanted to hold me back, though maybe not consciously, because the more succesful I was the worse he would feel about his own failures.

That the reason he acted like he didn't value or even hated me was because that was how he actually feels about himself. That the only power he could find in life was that which he could feel by making his chilrdren treat him with undue respect by manipulating them.

Ring any bells?

man, i actually know how it feels to be in your situation right now. But the difference about my dad is that he wanted me to be in soccer or football just any sport, but i just don't got a favorite sport... well sense Tennis came into sort of.. still suck at it. and I'm guessing he wanted me to be in Tennis Team, because i only had it for a class.I mean my girlfriend teaches me sometimes but i don't know? i guess its not my sport.. and my dad would be like "G** Dammit son!! i just want you to be in a sport, just Do something", and then this one time he just told out of know were that i was gaining weight.. i told him "Well Look who's talking Fat ***!". But any way Oh! and i guess he doesn't want me to have a girlfriend yet so because we broke up but i guess he doesn't believe in relationships, so he just told me "your still young you know, your 19 for crying out loud and there Nothing but drama and trouble" i just told him " who the hell do you think you are?! you can't tell me things like That!". But anyway, My advice would be.. Just who Cares what he thinks! Live your life man, just keep doing what your doing because we all know you will succeed with your life! Take care : )

-Gabriel