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No its not completely insane and you seem to be missing the point. What you did was wrong. That one daughter accepted it and the other didn't is immaterial. Your younger daughter has been emotionally scarred and you don't seem to care! Yes it is a ridiculous request that you should not accept. But you need to deal with the fact that she has been emotionally scarred. You need to get an intermediary (father other daughter, therapist) to work with you both so you can show your daughter that you understand your actions went too far, that you feel remorse, that you understand her feelings about what you did to her. Then and only then will she stop these demands and, maybe, be able to resume a relationship with you.
But every post you have made denies full blame and denies that your daughter should feel like she does (my older daughter is fine...). If you said she was 40 or older, I could understand because she would have been a teen in a different time. But we are talking about 4-8 years ago. You were dead wrong and could have been charged with child abuse. So stop blaming your daughter and try to help her.
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