| || || |
What to do when your daughter won't talk to you
Asked Jun 4, 2010, 05:13 PM
My daughter is 22 and has been anorexic for 9 years. She was a cheerleader in high school for 2 years, but she was in hospitals for anorexia so she was not picked for her varsity year. Her younger sister was on the squad all 4 years at the same high school. She put us through years of therapy and I just spent a lot of time with the other sister. I went to her pep rallies and football games and competitions. She made me happy. But now, she is in jail for forgery and she was on herion. The 22 year old moved out in February. We went to movies, dinner, a cruise and shopping together. Now, she won't talk to me.She hasn't talked to me for 3 months and I don't know what to do. She claims that I stopped being her mom when I stopped being her daughter. She says I favored her drug addict sister over her and I took everything away from her and shunned her because of her anorexia. My other daughter passed away 4 years ago and the anorexic one wound up in the hospital after and refused life saving potassium so she was conserved and made a 51/50. My husband and I and her sisters spent so much time dealing with her issues for 8 years, We even had CPS at our house. She wanted to compete with her younger sister. She tells me I visit her sister in jail who is on drugs. I told her that we visited her every time she was in hospitals and we went to enough therapy sessions it got to be ridiculous. She is blaming me but when she wa home she never blamed me.I don't know what to do.I She says that I kicked her out but I didn't kick out her sister. We sent her to live with her grandparents sometimes because we thought that every time she came home from institutions she would go right back, if she was away from us she would get better. Every time we kicked out her sister , her sister would wind up in drug places. I would bring her home because I didn't want her to die. She is making me feel guilty. What should I do? She won't answer any of my calls or text messages or voice mail. I tell her I am sorry if I hurt her but I only did what I thought was best at the time and that I love her
| || |
| || |
Jun 4, 2010, 05:25 PM
Honestly no matter what situations has happened and what kind of stuff is going on now.
All you need to do as a parent is to tell her your sorry and that you love her.
Anything else, as your daughter is older is up to her. Always be there for her if she needs you but also do not push to be in her life if she wants that space from you.
It sounds like there has been a lot of turmoil and unresolved issues but everybody together as a family need to work through them, and sometimes each individual has to work through there own things as well.
So just tell her you Love her, and that your sorry that you tried to do your best as a mother.
Do not keep texting her and leaving voice mails all the time, that will just aggravate the situation. Leave her be and she will come to you when she is ready.
| || |
Emotional Health Expert
| || |
Jun 4, 2010, 06:35 PM
I would say that it isn't enough to just let it go, and hope that they come to some realization that you did your best, and then everybody is happy again.
These are serious issues you have faced with your family, and I don't see any resolve, or plan in place to work together.
Have you contacted any of the therapists that work with your daughter that is in jail, and have you spoken with any professionals in the field of anorexia, as to gaining insight into how to appropriately help her.
Explaining each girls' behaviour to those that are caring for them, will go a long way in you understanding why your one daughter won't speak to you. Most good counsellors in these areas realize that healing takes place with the family, not by excluding family.
See if you can't arrange a one on one visit with the appropriate caregivers, and explain what you have said here. Ask them why it is happening, what you can do to help, and how should you respond.
Not knowing these details and flying by the seat of your pants may very well be counter-productive to therapy.
Add your answer here.
Check out some similar questions!
Kid who won't talk for himself but will copy how other people talk [ 2 Answers ]
Hello, I saw this movie years ago, on HBO, I never caught the name of the movie, and then the power went out, I never saw it again.. The movie was about this boy who was wouldn't talk or he couldn't talk. He could however copy peoples voices, and talk like them, exactley like them.. does anyone...
How to talk to my daughter [ 6 Answers ]
My daughter is only 11 yrs old and she's talking to guys online. These guys age vary from 16-25. What should I do?
My friends 4 year old daughter won't talk or potty train [ 10 Answers ]
My friend has a daughter who is 4 and won't talk she use to speak out words mom, dad, cat.. But now she don't say anything if she wants something she will come get you and show you what she want's. If you choose the wrong thing she lets out a scream. She is still in diapers as well won't use the...
Daughter won't talk in public [ 4 Answers ]
My daughter, Katarina, is 8 years old and going in to 3rd grade. Katarina has a large family because I am her stepmother, so she has family on her mother and father's sides. The problem is she won't talk to people when she is with us, but will talk to the people when we aren't there. We don't...
My daughter won't talk in daycare [ 1 Answers ]
Hi,my daughter is 3 years old,she is very outgoing and playful and does talk a lot. But around other people she is shy which I understand as that's her personality,it takes her awhile to play with kids.even friends of mine that have children the same age it took her awhile but now she does talk and...
View more Parenting questions Search