I am sure this gets asked every day, but how do I keep my son's girlfriends out of my house while I am at work all day? He is 16 years old.

kimunder

video tape him!

kimpossible

Then, should I send the video tape to the girls' parents?

Fr_Chuck

Well you tell your teen no and not to. if the teen will not listen, you hire them a baby sitter. Have someone check in on the teen.

Clough

And if I were the teen, I wouldn't like the idea that I still needed a babysitter! Some sort of monitoring may be necessary. But, I would start with teaching the boy about responsibility to himself and others and also what the consequences can be when you break the trust that someone has in you. That, in order to be a man, it means taking responsibility for your actions. Mom isn't always going to be around to protect him (or, his girlfriends!) nor to defend him if he makes bad choices in his life.

J_9

No Clough, you would not like the idea of a babysitter and that is the EXACT reason it was brought up.

However, it appears that he does not have enough daily activities to keep him busy. Does he drive? He could run errands for you. He doesn't have a summer job? Hmmm, good idea, a summer job. What a novel idea (sorry I was working at 15 and it kept me out of a lot of trouble).

How about a talk with the girlfriends parents, preferably the father if he is in the picture.

startover22

Yes a father's love and stern heart can help in these type of situations. Great time to tell your son the way it will be or there will be consequences.

NowWhat

When I was growing up - the rule in our house was NO ONE was allowed over when our parents weren't home. I got caught once and boy, I got embarrassed by my dad and I think I lost a boyfriend that day. (My Dad put the fear of God in this kid)
You have to set rules, if they are broken, you punish him. Take priveledges away.

If it is just the girlfriend coming over - then yes, talk to her parents. I am sure they would not like the fact that their daughter is with a boy - alone.

Skrypt

Hi, I'm a 15 year old boy and if I had a girlfriend my mother and sister would be the first to know about it. I'd be shy to tell my older brother though. Now for me, my mom and sister both trust me. My dad doesn't live with us anymore so..yeah. Anyways I think that you should have a talk with him. Tell him about responsibilities and commitment. Teach him the elements of a relationship, and problems that might occur. He has to be able to face these problems and be mature enough to make a decisive decision when the time comes.

Abstinence also must be brought up, but don't forget hes 16. Young boys and young girls nowadays don't find it hard to have sex. Hes your kid, so him having sex at this age is totally up to you, but sooner or later he will do it behind your back if you don't talk to him about it. Bring up the use of condoms and tell him he should only have sex if the feeling for it is mutual between him and his girlfriend. Remember they could be in love depending on how long they have been dating.

Be fair, but be straight forward. If you lay the law down TOO hard then expect rebellion. I wouldn't be happy if I was not allowed to be with my girlfriend. A babysitter is a bad idea because then your just showing him hes still 7 years old and that you don't even trust or understand him. Or at least that's how he'll feel.

Keep in mind that none of us should know more about your son but you. In the end you have to be able to deal with him and still keep him as your "son". I hope this advice does come in handy. Hopefully you both will come to an agreement of some sort.