I am a college grad who since returning home has found her self disgruntled with the way the house hold cleaning has been split up amongst the three of us (my mom myself and stepdad). I for some reason got stuck with the duty of cleaning the whole kitchen meaning i have to sweep,mop,and clean ALL the dishes. I also got stuck cleaning up the front room a room i dont even go into because i have no need to since ive got a tv in my bedroom. Now i have no problem cleaning up after myself but cleaning up after two capable healthy adults is a little much in my opinon. I have tried to discuss this with my mom but she refuses to budge saying "we are all family and have to contribute" I just dont see why we cant all clean up after ourselves. Why is it so wrong to suggest that everyone be responsible for thier own messes that they make? Ill give an example my mom gardens and mud got on her shoes and she tracked mud all over the kitchen guess who got stuck mopping it up?...thats right me! My stepdad is the worst hell eat and then leave the plate on the counter for someone else to clean. His excuse is he shouldnt clean because he works (so if you work you get out of housework hmmmm even after college you learn something new everyday). I want some advice on this from some parents : Am i being unreasonable because i dont want to clean up after people who are more than capable of doing it themselves? Yes i know part of the answer is to get a job and move BUT i am in the process of doing that but until i can get a job and save up to move(hopefully not to long)im stuck at home(or the street) trust me i want to leave and get out on my own.

tickle

Stop griping and just do it. I would take pride in doing the kitchen to the best of my ability. Those floors and counter tops and stove and fridge would just shine and the dishes, my god, the dishes would be done and polished too. Thank god you dont have to do the whole house !!

I did my fair share golng to school (my parents supported me) and I did it gladly because of that. I am where I am today because of all the help I got at home. I was glad to repay it when I could. Now both my parents are gone and you never have a chance again to repair old arguments, twinklet, my dear,

My son put in his time, didnt like it, didnt complain and that was on top of cutting the grass and walking the dog.

FROM A PARENT

Synnen

Wait...you're living there for FREE and you're griping about a little cleaning?

Sounds like it's fair to me. If they're working and supporting you, how bad is it to clean up two measly rooms?

Rockstar714

I have to agree with you to an extent, there should be some responsibility for cleaning up their own messes...HOWEVER, you ARE living there RENT FREE. I would be more than happy to clean in exchange for a roof over my head. However I pay half the rent and have to clean the entire house as my share of living there. Including all dishes, vaccuuming, cleaning up after a fully capable person, bathroom, 2 bedrooms and cleaning up after 2 cats...I would seriously count your blessings until you find a place of your own. There are people that would do anything to be in your situation.

Fr_Chuck

yes, I would ask, how much rent are you paying them, how much of the food bill are you paying them. Are you helping with the electric bills or the insurnace bills.

Actually it would be more than fair if you did all the cleaning most likey and even maybe the laundry in exchange for living and eating free.

TwinkletOes26

Ok let me rephrase my question maybe you guys are misunderstanding me.Here we go: I appreciate my mother for all that she does and has done i do...I DO NOT MIND CLEANING AND DOING MY PART but it gets a little annoying when i am recuited to help with the cleaning whilst my stepdad gets away with doing nothing. The mud example was me venting (i was having a bad day)disregard that so heres a new example : My stepdad refuses to clean up after himself,make himself a lunch , or iron his own clothes. He lived in a house full of sisters who did everything for him so when he married my mom he was so use to stuff being done for him he felt like we (my mom and I ) should pick up where his sisters left off. My mom irons his clothes(hes a 58 yr old man and he cant iron?!!! ) and Im stuck having to make his lunches for work. I dont make lunches for my own father(cuz hes a deadbeat dad) much less my stepdad whom im not all that close to (to me hes just the man my mom married)hes not MY husband(thank GOD!) so i flat out refused to make his lunches when he is perfectly capable of making them himself. Now b4 anyone ask my stepdad has not contributed one penny to any of my expenses (school clothes food ect) my mom did all that. My stepdad is just my moms husband nothing more (no me and him dont have a good relationship lol)My stepdad will sit and watch me and my mom clean the whole house and not offer to lift a finger. This angers me especially since my mom has heart trouble and diabetes and cant bend over (again i love my mom and dont mind contributing especially since shes shes sick ) My main issue is with him if i can contribute and its not even my house why cant he ? My stepdad is the laziest,ignorant (once told me my bf was just dating me to see what being with a blk girl was like),most selfish person i know. like i said i have talked to her about it and all she says is "we are all a family and we all have to contribute",but my stepdad does not contribute he doesnt do anything once my mom had to scream at him to get him to take stuff out to the storage house in our backyard! So finally my rephrased question : Am i being unresonable for resenting the fact that my stepdad refuses to help clean anything while i and my mom clean the house? (thats where the two measly rooms comes in) So yes im griping but not just about two rooms but about everyone not doing thier part.I hope you guys understand what im asking i wasnt say "arrrrrrrrrg i should clean" lol im not that horrible

tickle

twinklet, I wish you luck finding the job you want and congratulations for graduating. Life isnt an easy street anymore and expenses have gone up. Find yourself a reasonable place to rent and dont get over your head.

KeepItSimpleStupid

I don't know. I hear a little venting here. My philosphhy would take into consideraton abilities before assigning tasks. It might not be a good idea for mom to mow the grass.

So, for starters each should be responsible for their own room and everyone should clean up after themselves. It doesn't mean wash the dish after they had lunch, but does mean wash the dish when they had a snack and the dishes have been done for the night.

Now take the household chores and assign it a level of difficuly and put a time to it.
Let everyone participate and average the responses. Probably the level of difficulty would be the same.

Now determine the average time it takes to do the tasks. Now lets assign fake money to it.

1. Empty the wastepaper baskets and take the trash to the curb.
2. Dust the living room and dining room
3. Do the bathroom weekly
4. Iron Dad's clothes
5. Each should iron their own if at all possible
6. Wash shhets
7. Wash towells

Each then does a specific $ amount of work per week, They can exchange with others and their is a rotating inspector assigned each week. When a potential violation occurs, collecively you vote on a $ fine. The fine would be paid doing an equal amount of work for the other parties. Fines could accumulate until a particular task can be preformed.

Best way would be to have the fined person also finish the work and to pay a fine by doing an equal amout of someone else's work.

If mom says she will cook 7 days a week, put a value on that. Include all household tasks such as shopping, paying bills etc. Mom may pay the bills for say mom and dad and sometimes the kids pay their own.

You could even make this fun or part of a school project.

You could create a position description for all the hats with a list of required duties etc.

Earning money for the household counts too. Just have to place a value on it.

So Dad works, mom doesn't. She makes all the meals and washes the clothes and does the shopping. Dad does the lawn. These could equal out.

TwinkletOes26

i feel as though those who answered b4 think that oh well i should be happy that im living at home rent free yes its free money wise but you never get something for nothing try being in my shoes 4 a week and ud see what i mean. Having a mother who bc shes sick has to have help with most things BUT that when im there when i was away at school she had to clean cook iron ect by herself my stepdad does absolutly nothing (im not kidding). My mom isnt working because shes a retired school teacher and she had to retire early bc of her high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. Even when she was working my stepdad didnt help out bc "men work and women take care of the house" see what i mean by ignorant...then he has the gall to tell me i wont get a husband bc i refuse to pick up after a full grown man. The bad thing is my stepdad thinks that hes a real catch. I wouldnt feel so disgruntled by the division of the house work if it were a true division. Now that he lost his job its worse he lazies around the house even more than b4.When im finally finished cleaning i get to have fun with friends right???no i dont this is where i vent about my mom . Its like im 12 again i cant just say "im going to the movies mom" I have to fight argue and give details as to where im going and who im gonna be with (and im a woman in her mid 20s) and if thats not enough i have a curfew (1200 sharp) so excuse me for venting but i get sick of being treated like a maid / child

talaniman

The only thing that will change things is getting a job, and living independently. As a parent, my house, my rules and you can vent all you want. Now do your chores.
I think your parents are right to make you contribute seeing as how you pay no-
rent
utilities
water bill
don't work
cook???????
Honestly what else do you have to do? Do you think your going to sit on your butt while everyone else humps for you?? Reality is such a ..............................!!!!