My 7 year old daughter steals, lies, hurts her brothers and sister and just does not listen to anything you have to say. We have tryed to work with her but it does not seem to help with anything that we do. She will laugh at you when you are trying to tell her to do something. We dont want to give up on her but we dont know of anything else that we can do. She will also hurt aminals and she dont think twice about it. I'm trying to find a boot camp that maybe can help with her. Because we have tryed everything with her and it dont seem to work at all. We love our child and just want the best for her we cant trust her if you turn your back she will steal from you if we take her somewhere she will steal from there. I cant take her to the store she will steal from there and laugh about it. Is there anyone that can help try to anwer my Question. Is there a boot camp that will take a 7 year old???

dwb79

i understand that. but i cant leave a 7 year old at home no one will watch her because of how she acts..

hheath541

how do you discipline her?

dwb79

i have taken her to 3 differant doctors and they all say the same thing (theres nothing worng with this child) Nothing has happened to her for her to act this way she has been acting this way since she was 2 years old? I have tryed everything.. the family doctor is the one who said that she might need boot camp. i'm not giving up on my child I love my child no matter how she acts. But when you have tryed everything it runs thought your mind what else can I do for her. She just went to the last shink about a mouth ago and i have tryed to get another shink to see her but they all say the same thing (theres nothing wrong with her).

dwb79

we put her in the corner, spank her, take her toys, ground her, what else can i do..

Altenweg

You say you've tried everything, give me a list of the things you've tried, I guarantee you haven't tried everything.

This child needs help and she needs it yesterday.

If she laughs when you spank her, doesn't care if you take her toys away, hurts animals, steals etc., then it's very obvious that she has a severe problem. She obviously doesn't feel remorse for the things she does, if this isn't addressed properly it will only get worse.

Lack of empathy, lack of remorse, this is scary stuff.

Like I said before, find a different doctor, keep going until you find someone that will help.

Altenweg

Stop doing the things that don't work and find something that does.

We can't diagnose your child here, we can only give you suggestions, it's up to you to decide what you will and won't do.

She needs more help then anyone on this site can give her. She needs more help then you alone can give her. A professional child psychologist needs to get involved before this gets even worse.

I can't say it enough. She needs help.

hheath541

do you use the same punishment every time? do you follow through on groundings or just give in when she complains and throws a fit.

as for stealing; embarrass her in the store. before you leave the store, but after you check out and are away from anything she might snag on the way out, make her empty all her pockets. if she refuses or doesn't do so properly, then you go through them yourself. if you find that she's still managed to steal something you drag her back into the store, take her to service desk, give back whatever she stole, and make her apologize.

if that STILL doesn't work you can talk to store security and have THEM talk to her. have them take her back to the security office and explain what happens to people who get caught shoplifting. if THAT doesn't work, get the cops in on it.

your area police should be willing to scare her. have them handcuff her, put her in the back of a police car, and drive her down to the police station to talk to her. then they'll bring her back home, still in the back of the police car.

before you think I'm overreacting, the same tactics were used with my brother when he was that age.

Jake2008

I think it is enough to say that whatever you have tried, is not addressing the problems that are causing the behaviour.

A kid who misbehaves once in a while and gets a swat on the bum, or their toys taken away is appropriate.

Your daughter's behaviour is beyond that, she is hurting inside, and expressing herself outside, to such an extreme degree that she willingly inflicts pain on helpless animals is, as I said before, a big red flag. Something is seriously wrong here.

You say you have been to psychiatrists, and it sounds like they do an observation, and then decide if a diagnosis/treatment is necessary. Not many Psychiatrists are in private practise today.

It is hard to accept that you believe the only alternative is boot camp which is a desperate thought to a quick solution for your daughter.

Please continue to speak to professionals in the field of child care/management and that offer parental support and guidance in dealing with a difficult child.

I don't know where you live, I know the resources in my area. You need to dig, make phone calls and appointments, and get her the help she needs.

Good luck to you. I really feel sorry for this 7 year old, and I hope she gets the help she needs.

artlady

I had a very challenging child,who had boundless energy to the point that he was tested for hyperactivity.

I know the challenges with a child who is strong willed.

You have been overwhelmed since she was two.That is too young.She cried and I bet you gave into her,always.

That is a reflection on your parenting.

I believe you love you daughter but I also believe you never knew how to be a effective disciplinarian.

I suspect that you did not have solid parenting skills when you had her.
Maybe you never learned them but now ,until you can get help,there are some things you must do.

I would stop spanking,it often makes children more aggressive.Its a short term solution that works on toddlers mostly.

I would make a chart and when she is behaving she gets stars or whatever she like ,stickers of her favorite character.

Sit down and say we are going to make a chart just for you.When you do (insert behaviors you want to see),you get a star"
When you get 5 you get a surprise.

A child that age would be happy with a little figurine from the dollar store.

If you are naughty,you get a star taken away.

Make SURE she knows exactly what the rules are.She also has to be told,if you hit your brother ,you will go to bed an hour early.
If you fuss about it you will have no tv the next day.

Its all about following through.Making the rules clear and sticking to your guns about consequence's.

Repetition and consistency are the keys to discipline.

You have to give lots of positive reinforcement.When ever she is being calm and playing nicely ,praise her"your playing so nicely,Im proud of you". Look for opportunities to give her praise!

Kids will be bad just for attention.Give attention for good behavior and they will want that more.

Consistency and they must know the rules and you need to enforce them calmly and with the knowledge that you are the parent!

danielnoahsmommy

your doctors were quacks find another. any doctor who sugggests that a child who injures animals and children is normal bad behavior needs a doctor himself. it is not normal and If you let this go it will be your own fault. it is not normal by any means.

as far as spanking...I don't beleive in it. It teaches it is ok to hit to get your point accros. This is NOT why your child is not bhaving. something else is going on with her and I am sure there is oast history you are not telling us!