I have a 13 year old step son. I have been with his dad for six years, and we have been married for three years. I have been through a lot with the boy and his mom since day one. He lived with us for about nine months, but just recently his mom moved about four hours away and he made the decision to stay here and live with his dad and I. Since his mom moved away, he has changed the way he is with me. I have always let him know I was not trying to replace his mom or anything of that nature. But lately he completely ignores me, everyday that I come home from work my husband tells me that my step son was in a good mood until I came home. I overheard a conversation he was having with his mom on the phone and he told her I was "being gay" when I wasn't even doing anything. If he needs anything, I do it for him (or get it for him). I can't figure out what happened for him to change. What should I do?

Do not take things so personally. He is a teenager... still be supportive and do your best not to do everything for him but be loving. Do be blamed for his moods by your husband is not very fair but many step families have issues and teenagers are always changing.

He probably doesn't want to seem like he's being disloyal to his mother. Depending on the relationship between his parents (cordial? Tense? Adversarial?) he may also be having trouble determining his own feelings if he's sensing some "bad vibes" for lack of a better expression from him mom.

Having been in this kid's situation before, let me tell you it's awkward sometimes, especially when you're young.

I am going through same thing... but my stepson makes my hubby and I argue and fight a lot.I do everything for my stepson also and he still treats me like dirt.I've asked my stepson what is problem is with me.Teenager or not just not speaking to you is rude... I get that too.In my situation my stepson treats me the way he does is because I set rules and take care of him.When I tell him to clean his room,he immediately gets on phone with his biological mother and tells her that I'm being mean to him when all I did was ask him to clean his room please.

You're right... we're aren't trying to be anyone's mom... we're just trying to help out.Do what I do... just for a couple of days don't do anything for him.Let him do everything himself.See if he misses you doing stuff for him.I have to do this every month.

It also doesn't help when they talk to their mom's and say untruthful stuff about us... in turn the mother says things about us to the kid and that can make his attitude change also... been there done that!

Maybe one weekend the 3 of you can do something as a family.Interact with one another.He's going to have to get over that his mom moved.Things happen.But he's being taken cared of and he's loved... he knows this too and will come around :)

It sounds like normal 13 year old behavior to me. He would behave this way even if you were his biological mother and not his step mother. He is acting out. Good luck hon. The next few years are going to be hard.



OK scratch that. This post is 2 years old. Please check dates before posting and you need to make your own thread

Pepsi, it's OK to post. We're not reading the dates...

Readers, like myself, are grateful to hear about other experiences.

Step Mom of an 11 year old boy who is going from being sweet and playful to telling a few lies about me and grunting answers.

Unfortunately Jennie, a respected member of AMHD, is quoting AMHD policy. The only people notified of this thread now are people who posted on it before.

Open a new thread, everyone sees it.

Do you have a question? I have 5 stepchildren.