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    valpernett's Avatar
    valpernett Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    May 24, 2010, 06:17 AM
    My son don't talk to me...
    My son is 25 years old... he moved from the house almost year a go, because I asked for... he was using drugs and out of job playing game all day long. After that he stopped talk to me. He doesn't answer my phone calls or text messenger. What I have to do??
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    May 24, 2010, 07:05 AM

    You do nothing but let him grow up and get over himself, and get his own act together.

    I would tell you not to worry, but every parent worries about their child FOREVER.

    But we do have to let go, to let them grow, at their own pace, that's so very hard for many of us.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #3

    May 24, 2010, 07:07 AM

    If he was using drugs, sponging off you and you ask him to leave good for you.

    He sounds like an ungrateful, spoiled five year old. If he doesn't call or respond to your contacting him.. let it go.

    It's hard to do when you love that child so much. He'll come around again, but when he does don't enable him by giving him money.

    Just tell him you love him and until he gets a job and stops the drugs he can't come back to your home. Good Luck
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
    		  
    #4

    May 24, 2010, 09:18 PM
    You are doing the right thing, in allowing him to grow up. You are also teaching him that you live by your rules, and cannot support him. You are also telling him that he needs to grow up and be a man, in charge of his own life.

    You are doing him no favours in taking him back, or helping him out. He is capable, and he needs to learn that when he decides to turn his life around, that you will be there for him, but he must learn on his own.

    What you are giving him is the opportunity to live a productive happy life and to learn that it feels good to work hard and be rewarded with a paycheque. It feels good to be clean and sober, and have friends that do more than what he's been used to in his past.

    You are allowing him to grow up, and while it is one of the hardest things you will ever do, you must stay the course- he can do this.
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