I have a 13 year old boy and a 4 you old daughter. My son, like most boys, is in and out of trouble all the time, so for a while he has had limited time on the computer and tv. Well yesterday, I come out of my room to find my son looking up porn on the computer. This is not the first time I have caught him, in fact this time I would say its a lot of mild T&A. In the past I have found the realy bad free websites, my son knows I can look up and see exactly what and when he is looking this up, so this time all of it was from u-tube, something I allow him to look at, not knowing pics and videos are on it like that.

I understand he is a 13 year old boy, and I understand this is completly natural. My big concern is my daughter is running around him as he's looking this up and some of the pics and videos are of little girls, little, as in his age or so. I do not know what to do. He is just a 13 year old boy. My husband says when he was little his dad gave him his first porn and said, if you tell you mother I will only deny it. My husband has always been so amazed on that talk with his dad and now understands why he did. He even asked me if I thought he should do the same. I of corse said no, I can't condone it and if I find some in his room, I will have to throw it away. My husband understand that. But we are at the point, what should we do. I do not want my daughter seeing that stuff and if my son is going to see or watch porn....I cannot beleive I am to this point.....I do not want him lookin at little girls, I do not want any sort of kiddie porn in any which way in my home.

Yes I have talked to him and he knows why I do not approve. But he is a little boy. Any suggestions?

alexandraD14

he is just a boy, its normal at his age, you should let your husband give him the magazine so that he can look at it while your daughter isnt around and wont see those images. This calls for a talk from on man to another, i think your husband should talk to him about it.

ldyastrid

WOW - I gotta say - I guess I'm going to be viewed as prudish or something - but while I understand boys will be curious, etc... allowing him to look at porn??? HELL NO! That's NOT real life - if he's curious, that means he has questions ... those questions need to be answered by a parent or a caring adult.

I would terminate any computer activity (and have when I had that issue with my step son) ... when my SS was accessing that on the computer he then found a way of connecting to some kind of paying thing ... $600 later is when we found out about it ... then he got the cable company (Direct TV) to unlock the porn channels - that was after I told them I didn't want them accessable AT ALL and asked they put a flag on the account to note that NO ONE can authorize that unless they received it in writing ... in one month there was several hundred dollars in pay per view charges - we cancelled Direct TV and paid all but the porn charges.

Teaching our sons about sex and love is important ... it's MORE important that they learn from a caring adult - NOT the smut they find on the computer or cable!

I say put a password on the internet so he can't access porn, explain to him about sex and human bodies.

KeepItSimpleStupid

Yipes!! Kids do it. You can't buy it until your 18. It should be enforced by parents.

There is something fundamentally wrong because he knows you can see yet still does it. That's a problem. Enforcing is harder today. For enforcement, you have only one solution - put the computer in a common area.

Want to get real freaky, modulate it to a cable channel and make the screen available everywhere in the house. Digital TV is going to mess this up a bit. You might need some physical security to go with this.

There is the problem of right and wrong:
KP is punishable by jail time. Find some newspaper articles and show him what happens when the images just exist. Each one is a count.

In front of the 4 YO is very bad too. Parents have sex, but don't do it with the door open and children in the house.

Time and place concepts need to be taught. He CANNOT do this in front of a 4 year old.

Porn can be an addiction, but hopefully now it's a curiosity thing.

What about psychotherapy?

Fr_Chuck

Kids have interest but no good parent allows thier kids to look at porn

I will be honest my first though was someone should be calling child and family services on a family that has no problem with a 13 year old looking at porn and is only concerned because the 4 year old may see it.

You put a porn blocker on your computer so no one in the home has to view and look at it.

Curious yes, allowed to look at it, no way.

kraamermich

Truthfully, it think that 13 year olds are supposed to look up porn...maybe that came out wrong...but what i mean is...guys are very curious about the subject at that age and truthfully should be able to find out what they need to know with out being scared that somone might find out...the bad thing=it can junk up your computer and cause many viruses...so be carfull....about your daughter....well, get a lock on the door!

progunr

I'm shocked at these responses!

Kiddie porn on you tube? If you have seen girls his age in porn type video, YOU should be calling the police, not worrying that your daughter saw it!!

Just because a child is curious about something, does not mean they should be allowed to satisfy that curiosity. What if he was curious about how it felt to stab someone? I know that is a leap from porn, but, you get the point.

Get a program that will block those images, or get rid of the computer.

It is NOT OK to allow him to look at porn.

dixxi

firstly at 13 i am sure he knows a lot of things that you don't realise. i can see it is very hard when you have a younger child in the house. i think the internet can be dangerous for young minds and that your husbands idea is a good one. at least that way you will know exactly what your son is looking at and you can regulate it. explain that you don't want it left around the house for his sister to see and explain to him the dangers of surfing adult sites. hope this helps i know its not easy with any children.

Synnen

OKay...wait....

is this really porn? Or is it cute girls his own age in skimpy clothes? Is this actually nudity and sex acts? Or girls dancing around trying to be sexy?

There's a HUGE difference there!

Everyone's jumping all over the kiddy porn thing, and I'm doubting that the YouTube site would allow that in any way, shape, or form.

tawnynkids

1. Lock up the computer.
2. Do not ALLOW him to look at porn. Maybe he'd like a drink too?
3. Teach your son about love. Tell him about respecting another persons body and his own. Answer the questions, don't encourage an unhealthy attitude about women and sex.

For God's sake does nobody think that healthy attitudes about sex and love are issues to be taught to our children anymore. "Well it's only normal curious behavior...they're supposed to at that age". And that's why we have pregnant children. What they are supposed to do at that age is learn how to respect others and themselves, they are supposed to learn what it means to have a healthy relationship, they are supposed to learn what it means to value a person, honor them. They are not supposed to be fed crap that elicits dangerous addictions, degradation of others, to view women as objects instead of humans.

I hate that porn is so accepted in our society. Yes, boys will look at it, yes men will look at it but should it just be accepted? Sorry, no. What part of porn really leads you to learn to love someone else? It doesn't, it only self satisfies...that is not love! Maybe if we taught our boys better we'd have better men!