I want to know why some men, that pay child support, just complain that it is way too much. We are talking about men who pay, oh around 200$ a month for a child, when the mother pays a lot more then that raising that child.
Why do men, yes I'm sure there are some woman, complain over such a small amount of money when it comes to a child?
I must stand and applaud the fathers who remain a great father through their child's life, and never complain about money.

COOKIE MONSTER

if my sons dad gave me child support they will take the money he gives me out of my rent money so basically i don't get JACK S**T [OR SHOULD I SAY MY SON GETS JACK S**T]

SO WHAT IS THE POINT OF GETTING IT WHEN IT DOESN'T GO TO MY SON

i don't get any anyway id rather not

svatnsdal

You are very, very right! I do bug my friend about how she should have used protection the second time. She does always tell me how she was very close to having an abortion. The thing is, it was done and it's over.
Where I live, I see so many kids with kids. I'm well over thirty and very happy to have no kids! I have been a second mom to a close friend years ago, and was asked to sign papers to take custody. My friend now is doing the same thing. I do love helping, but I am not going to clean up after them.
There was a boy who was asking about having a child. We are talking about a 16 year old, who was wanting his girlfriend pregnant. He stated he was from a wealthy family, so his parents could take care of the baby.
Most times I wonder where the hell parents are that have these kids. I would also love to know why young people are so interested in having kids.

N0help4u

I really don't see where sex education and society have had an impact on kids not getting pregnant. They often use abortion as a birth control method too. I see and hear of so many teens wanting to get pregnant because they want a baby so bad. You even see it here on this site a lot kids wanting kids really bad. Then often they tell the guy they are on birth control or they can't get pregnant and the guy falls for it.
Then after they have the baby they wanted so bad they get bored with it and pawn it off on their mother.
I can see both sides of the problem, but I do agree about the women who cry they can't afford to feed and cloth their kid(s) and then buy designer clothing for their self and go to the bar every Friday night. I have even known women who return the things the dad has bought for his kids so they have more money to spend on their own self.
It is a mess and that is exactly why I have been saying sex education needs to teach more reality and consequences.

COOKIE MONSTER

Well Synnen I Was On The Pill And He Had Condom On And I Ended Up With My Youngest

And Why The Hell Should We Have To Live With Killing An Unborn Child I Couldn't Do It He Offered Me The Cash To Abort And I Slapped His Face For It It Wasn't Planned I Didn't Want Anymore Kids But I Could Live With Myself Killing A Baby Its Not Right Nor Could I Give It Up For Adoption

And Why The Hell Are You Blaming Us Females Thats Not On It Takes Bloody 2 To Tango

COOKIE MONSTER

men dont have to live with the guilt of abortion we do,we would think bout that baby everyday,what he\she could have been,were they would me now by mile stones,what colour hair,eyes they would have,what their personality would be like,birthdays,christmas,every child you see reminding you what you did

its the same with miscarriage and adoption

you fellas dont have to live with the guilt

N0help4u

I have heard and know of women who live with the guilt daily. One of my friends said that the guy she lived with for years insisted she her get abortions or she had to leave him. They would be in their 20's now and she is always thinking about what her life would be like if they were here to do things with.

Synnen

I got pregnant using a condom, birth control pill and using a spermicide.

I'm just pointing out that it DOES take two to tango--let's not just blame the DADS for not being able to afford kids/child support! You could have said "no" to sex too!

I didn't say you SHOULD have to choose abortion. I'm also saying that I sure as HELL don't want to pay taxes so that people can have kids they can't afford, either.

I chose adoption--and I certainly wouldn't advocate it. You want to talk about hurting for the rest of your life? Believe me, sister, I know that pain.

And the hell of it is: I can't get pregnant now. I gave up for adoption the ONLY child I will ever have.

My WHOLE point was exactly what you said: it wasn't planned. Well, the guys paying child support didn't plan it, either, and they have NO choice in what the mother does. I hear more stories on this site about dads that want to stop paying child support for the simple reason that the child's mother won't let him see his own kids!

I repeat: If you don't want kids, do not have sex. Birth control FAILS, as you can obviously attest. Why should you (you in general, not you specifically) get to keep your kids on MY taxpayer money, when I can't use taxpayer money for IVF or any other infertility treatment? If you can't afford your kids, they should be given to someone who CAN afford them--that's in the best interest of the child.

Frankly, I think that if you must go on public aid to support a child, OR if you have more than 2 children you are paying child support for (ESPECIALLY if your child support doesn't BEGIN to cover the state cost of helping to support the child) you should be sterilized. Or at the very LEAST placed on a form of mandatory birth control that you can not voluntarily stop (such as an implant or the shot).

I ALSO think that you should have to pass a test in order to become a parent. Fail the test and VOILA! there's a perfectly adoptable baby out there for all of those "poor childless couples who desperately want to adopt" (which is the biggest line of baloney that I hear all the time from advocates of adoption--especially those advocates who are pro-life).

Frankly, I think that the REAL solution lies in taking away state aid. Period. If you can't get welfare to take care of your kids, you'd be less willing to risk HAVING a kid you can't afford, which would stop so many teen pregnancies (because believe me, they KNOW they can get help to raise their babies). If you had to choose between watching your kids starve and just not having sex--pretty easy choice, wouldn't you say?

oh--and those kids that are starving? The state would HAPPILY place them with a family that could afford them.

Dear lord--why are you turning it back on me, anyway? I'm just pointing out that there are valid reasons why a guy would complain about having to pay child support--the MOST valid being that he would have chosen adoption instead of parenting, but didn't get that choice like SHE did--and now he has to pay for kids he seldom (if ever) gets to see.

N0help4u

I agree with you that there are valid reasons for a guy being upset. Also, too many dads are paying support for kids they believe to be theirs and aren't which I think is really a bad hand dealt to them. More guys are wising up to insisting on a paternity test first.
I just see that so many kids are irresponsible and do not think of the consequences all they see is they want baby---takes guy to get baby, -----not a care about what to do or how to care for or afford baby after the fact. They barely think much past the nine months and holding a baby in their arms. They picture them pushing a baby in a stroller and how 'cute' it would be.

nikosmom

Synnen, you made the decision that was best for YOU. I think women that recognize that they are unable to take care of a child and decide to give it up for adoption are special people. I applaud you for that, really I do. No one here mentioned anything about being on state aid. I agree, that if you can't take care of a child and must do so with public assistance, then you should not continue having children. However, child support and public assistance aren't the same thing.

I for one, don't receive either. I was in a relationship for 2 yrs with a man I loved, where we discussed having children and had planned to get married. The relationship turned abusive the last few months and I got out. I didn't know I was pregnant at the time. Like Cookie Monster said, there is no way I would have aborted my child, although I don't pass judgement on those that choose that route. My point is, that a relationship went bad and a child resulted out of it. I don't regret my child. I am going back and forth to court to try to get child support because he SHOULD have to help. He figures that since I ended it then the child should suffer. That's not fair to the innocent baby. I have been taking care of my child on my own since the day I knew he was growing in my womb but that doesn't exempt his father from helping me to support him. As I said, I AM NOT ON PUBLIC ASSISTANCE, I WORK FULL-TIME, I OWN MY OWN HOME AND HAVE A COLLEGE EDUCATION, but why should these dads get off scott-free??

I don't expect my son's father to pay for my cable tv, makeup, or cell phone, but he should have to help pay for diapers, daycare, and formula. And child support isn't a 'payment' for visitation, it's to help take care of the baby. Again, my son's father has an open invitation to see his son whenever he wants, but he chooses not to. Just because he doesn't want to be a part of his life (again, out of anger towards me for having the good sense to put an end to the abuse), doesn't mean he's not supposed to be part of his life. I have never denied him visitation and I don't hold our past against him when it comes to the child that we BOTH created.

svatnsdal

Abortion is not for you, me or anyone to tell other woman if it's right or wrong. It is completely the woman's choice, and the woman alone. Not yours, not mine, no one else's. Abortion is legal because there is no human life being killed.