[help me please :)]

Is the following abusive...


1) name-calling, swearing, screaming, criticizing, threatening
2)digging nails, choking (very lightly from the back of your neck and you can still breathe), hitting, biting, slapping, and then saying that hurting is legal


It's too bad I have a lawyer as a parent so I questioned them tonight and my dad took a board to my butt luckily I was saved by my mom and all but she said tomorrow if the same thing happens she's going to let him hit me. So I'm freaked and living in fear not like it's any different. Any advice besides calling someone and getting in trouble? Besides I'm not even alllowed to talk about them to anyone especiallly strangers! Ahah thanks. Ill be waiting on your responses. And. Are you guys professional counselors? Oh and by the way, my parents said they would definitely hurt me if they found out if I talked about them anywhere and usually they find out. Even when my friends don't tell a soul. Even then, my parents just know who I tell. I have a lot to say and I hate living like this. Thank you...

[NeedKarma]

Yes.

[J_9]

I agree with NK, it is abusive. Very abusive, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

[CaptainForest]

I also concur with the others.

Yes, it is abusive.

[Fr_Chuck]

1. Name calling, swearing, and the items you mentioned in one, those are yes and no, sadly intodays life people use curse words, you hear them on rap songs, TV, and from 1/2 the people in walmart, so merely cursing is not child abuse but merely poor morals and bad parenting.

Name calling,or threating, if you don't get better grades I will... I will assume in some points of weakness most parents threaten the children for some reason

If this is an occasion item, I would have to say the context of it, would have to be viewed, not just a assumption, since most kids think their parents are bad and threatening when they say they will be spanked for stealing something, or have their computer taken away for some action.

Next if you are being choked and fingernailed there will be marks on your neck, get them photographed for evidnece and report it. I don't normally know of parents bitting, but I guess they could, this would be abuse.

So if it is real abuse, report it to a teacher at school and get children's services invovled.

[s_cianci]

Yes, you are in an abusive situation. Contact the youth services division for your state and tell them of your problem. Better yet, if you're back in school, speak with a counselor at once. You've got to get out of that situation now, for your own protection. If need be, go stay with a trusted friend or relative until the authorities can take action.

[letmetellu]

You did not say how old you are, but if you ae a school student I have this advice.
If you ever have marks on you from your parents hitting, pinching, scratching, or choking, make sure a teacher sees it (by accident of course) she is going to ask you how it happened and then you will have to tell her. That way maybe you will get some help an it will not be your fault that the teacher found out. If this does not work then go to grandmother or another adult and make sure they see the marks.

[Krs]

Of course it is abusive, why would u even question it.

[tiggerella]

A parent is a lawyer and claims this is legal for them to do? :eek: What planet are they from?

My son (currently in college) and daughter (in high school) are both involved in peer counseling groups. They would both advise you to ignore the "don't tell" rule and go to a teacher or adult at the school you can trust and speak to them about this - even if you have to pretend you need help after class in order to be alone with the teacher. As others have stated, it's best if you can show marks, but here's another thought for you:

My son had a case of abuse himself, when a girl (who happened to be our neighbor in a duplex) was being verbally and physically abusive when they were both 11 years old. He got a pocket-sized tape recorder (which can be picked up for less than $20 these days) and taped the verbal abuse one morning, then played it for the school principal. Up until he provided that proof, they were forced to treat it as a "he said/she said" issue and couldn't punish anyone, as they couldn't tell which child was lying. (She was suspended, incidentally.)

If you are able to get such a tape recorder and tape one of these incidents at your home, it will serve as proof for Youth Services that you are being abused and you will be removed from that situation and placed in protective custody. It will be very hard for your parents to get at you then, and even the most talented lawyer won't be able to argue that abuse didn't happen when their own voice is recorded abusing you... :)

You'll be in my thoughts... and prayers!

P.S. The fact that you aren't allowed to talk to anyone about this is a BIG sign that they know what they're doing is wrong. Any time an adult pulls the "it's our little secret" routine, they are fully aware that, if you speak to anyone, THEY will be in BIG trouble. Seek help!!

[Stysmomof3]

It is very abusive. Reach out to some one and don't stop until you find help. Good luck to you.

Sara

[Sentra]

Yes, this is very abusive. If you don't try to find some kind of help soon, then this will keep on happening; do your best to tell someone about your situation, whether it be someone at church, the parent of a good friend that you can trust, anyone.

You DO NOT deserve this kind of behavior, and it is WRONG for ANYONE to make you keep any kind of abuse a secret. Good luck to you, and take care.

[LUNAGODDESS]

is the following abusive...


1) name-calling, swearing, screaming, criticizing, threatening
2)digging nails, choking (very lightly from the back of your neck and you can still breathe), hitting, biting, slapping, and then saying that hurting is legal


It's too bad I have a lawyer as a parent so I questioned them tonight and my dad took a board to my butt luckily I was saved by my mom and all but she said tomorrow if the same thing happens she's going to let him hit me. So I'm freaked and living in fear not like it's any different. Any advice besides calling someone and getting in trouble? Besides I'm not even alllowed to talk about them to anyone especiallly strangers! Ahah thanks. Ill be waiting on your responses. And. Are you guys professional counselors? Oh and by the way, my parents said they would definitely hurt me if they found out if I talked about them anywhere and usually they find out. Even when my friends don't tell a soul. Even then, my parents just know who I tell. I have a lot to say and I hate living like this. Thank you...

Force on a child is limited... usually parents will punished a child for bad behavior... for instance touching the stove a spank on the hand towards prevention... ok saying bad words... a spank on the hand... staying out late at night and not calling the parents to tell them where you are desires... some yelling but no demeaning name calling... what I found interesting was this statement:

luckily I was saved by my mom and all but she said tomorrow if the same thing happens she's going to let him hit me. So I'm freaked and living in f

What did you do... to desires that response from your mom?

[BIM]

OMG! Of course this is abuse :eek: You need to get help and get out of this situation.

I think there is more to this story that needs to be told.:confused:

[auntie_ray_ray]

Honey I would say that's abuse!

On a side note... try checking your "history" on your computer and deleting certain websites you go to that way they can't read this.

[SlickstersVickster]

Yes that's abuse!

[robynhgl]

is the following abusive...


1) name-calling, swearing, screaming, criticizing, threatening
2)digging nails, choking (very lightly from the back of your neck and you can still breathe), hitting, biting, slapping, and then saying that hurting is legal


it's too bad i have a lawyer as a parent so i questioned them tonight and my dad took a board to my butt luckily i was saved by my mom and all but she said tomorrow if the same thing happens she's gonig to let him hit me. so im freaked and living in fear not like it's any different. any advice besides calling someone and getting in trouble? besides im not even alllowed to talk about them to anyone especiallly strangers! ahah thanks. ill be waiting on your responses. and. are you guys professional counselors? oh and by the way, my parents said they would definitely hurt me if they found out if i talked about them anywhere and usually they find out. even when my friends don't tell a soul. even then, my parents just know who i tell. i have a lot to say and i hate living like this. thank you...

Yes you are being abused. Emotionally and physically.

It's very common for people who use abuse as a means of control to use threats of worse abuse to keep their 'secrets' safe. Your parents using their position of 'law' to hold sway over you is wrong.

Unfortunately even the 'best', most well respected members of a community can hide their dirty little secrets, because they are so well respected.

It's obvious that they KNOW that they are doing something wrong--thus the threats, the monitoring and the compulsive supervision of your interactions with others.

You need to find a safe person to talk to. Is there anyone you can trust that you can go to who will listen to what you are going through without going back to your parents. You need to be in a safe place when and if they are confronted with this.

Here is a site that you can go to--the help that abuse hot-lines and safe-houses give is confidential... they won't call your parents to talk to them. They would not risk putting you in danger.

Abuse Help Lines - domestic abuse - parental abuse - date abuse - boyfriend abuse - girlfriend abuse - spousal assault - punching - hitting - biting - relationship abuse - teen advice - teens

Let us know how you're doing. Prayers are with you kiddo.