[FahrenNixon]

Hey, my girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and her weight has always been a problem... for her. She is a big girl, around 200 pounds, but I love it and dread her losing it, but, she is desperate to start getting rid of it. Though I really don't want her to [which I've expressed] I decided I must be supportive because I know she would feel better about herself.
I know I'm being a bit selfish here but I'm finding it hard to support her, I mean, I don't know how to be supportive really, I don't eat anything like candy/fast food around her but what else can I do?

Thanks for your help
Anything will be greatly appriceiated

[ScottGem]

You are being more than selfish you are being obtuse. This isn't an issue of what you want, this is an issue of her health. A teenaged girl weighing 200 pounds is very likely to be obese. Obesity brings on many health problems, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes and more.

So, if you really care about this girl you will want her to be healthy.

[FahrenNixon]

Did you even read it properly, I said I decided to support her, yeah it was selfish but I'm asking for ways to SUPPORT her in her weight loss, that was the question

[southerngalps]

Go on walks with her. It will be healthy for the both of you and a chance to spend time together.

[FahrenNixon]

Yeah I'm thinking of buying us both a gym membership so I can go with her to keep her company and do it with her, of course to show her I really do support her as well, thanks for your answer

[liz28]

Start exercising together. You can go for a jog, get a workout video(you can even get some from the library), try to encourage her to eat healthy and if she drinks soda try to get her to quit it because that is no good. Do you know if she has any health conditions?

It is good that she want to lose weight because too much fat can cause diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol,and heart diease(to name a few). Encourage her and stay by her side.

[FahrenNixon]

She has no conditions that I know of, yeah, when she decided to go on a diet I removed everything considered unhealthy and filled the cupboards with veges, fish, fruits, rice - those sorts of things. I've made a jar and every time she drinks soda she puts in 5 dollars [to contribute to a holiday when she's reached her goal which she doesn't know about she thinks its just for a punishment type thing] we went for a walk along the beach today. By the way does anyone know any good healthy meals that taste good [hard to find any] that I can cook for her?

Thanks for your reply

[linnealand]

I think the idea of twin gym memberships is really great. Exercising with a partner by your side is so much more fun than doing it alone.

I wonder if part of your initial feeling against the weight loss comes from a fear you might have of losing her once she becomes more desirable to more guys. On your side, going to the gym might build up yourself confidence.

There are tons of healthy and delicious things that will also feel satisfying. I use epicurious.com for recipes all the time. They also have leaner recipes from Self magazine on their site. Choose the category with the lighter options and enjoy.

I have some tips if you're interested.

No more butter. Use a very high quality extra virgin olive oil instead. Good fats will curb cravings.

No bottled salad dressings, not even the light kinds. They're full of chemicals. You can make your own dressing with extra virgin olive oil in under 5 minutes.

Green tea is a great antioxidant.

From what I can tell, the south beach diet is the best on the commercial market. I don't believe in diets, but they have some good rules to live by.

The best way to prepare foods that are lean and flavorful is to grill or roast them. You can do this with all veggies and meats.

Fish is lean and good for you.

Drink lots and lots of water.

[snowstar_puppy]

Hey, my girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and her weight has always been a problem...for her. She is a big girl, around 200 pounds, but I love it and dread her losing it, but, she is desperate to start getting rid of it. Though I really don't want her to [which I've expressed] I decided I must be supportive because I know she would feel better about herself.
I know I'm being a bit selfish here but I'm finding it hard to support her, I mean, I don't know how to be supportive really, I don't eat anything like candy/fast food around her but what else can I do?

Thanks for your help
anything will be greatly appriceiated

OK, so you don't feel like eating foods around her?? Here's what you can do, you can go to fast food places just get healther foods like salads, fruits etc.. And make her feel special such as flowers, candles, romantic stuff, and remember one thing DON'T GIVE UP!

[linnealand]

ok, so you don't feel like eating foods around her??? Heres what you can do, you can go to fast food places just get healther foods like salads, fruits etc.. and make her feel special such as flowers, candles, romantic stuff, and remember one thing DON'T GIVE UP!!

Salads at fast food places are really just garbage dressed up to look like salad. Go check the nutrition charts on them. You'd be shocked. The low fat/fat free dressings are chemical bombs. From what I can tell, there's only one real piece of healthy food on any of those menus, and that's a plain baked potato. I know I wouldn't want to sit around watching other people eating burgers and drinking shakes if I were on a diet.

The romantic suggestions were good.

[jrsg]

salads at fast food places are really just garbage dressed up to look like salad.

So true...
Fun Fact: The "Cesar Entree Salad" at a Canadian McDonalds has 9 grams of fat, 4 grams of sugar, 580 mg of sodium, and 190 calories.

I would stay away from fast food places all together.

Take a little trip to a local farmers market, and enjoy some local produce. It's good for the local economy, the environment, and your health!

[FahrenNixon]

Thanks for all your guys answers, but, her and I have been arguing about one specific thing since she started this and that is coffee. She loves the stuff with 3 sugars and I'd like to pry her away from it, not all at once of course, but take away 7 coffess a week, to 6, to 5, to 4 etc. etc. or is that not needed, like, there's substitutes for sugar obviously but anything else. Also, to the person who asked me if it was in part my fear [sorry I forgot your name] if that has anything to do with it, its very small or I don't know it because the reason is I just love her and adore her the way she is, but you maybe right, ill have to have a think.

thanks guys =]

[jrsg]

Oooooh, I am a die-hard coffee lover too. Can't get enough of it!

You're right, the stuff is awful (health-wise).

Your plan to take her off the coffee sounds good. But if she thinks she can just stop all together, that is even better.
Does she want to stop drinking coffee?

It sounds like you want to get her off it. If she isn't willing to give it up, she doesn't really sound very committed to losing weight anyway. If she doesn't want to give it up, I wouldn't argue with her about it.

[linnealand]

Jr, you're totally right. The only thing better than a farmer's market is your own garden, and many of us are limited in that luxury... I'm a farmer's market fanatic. That said, 9 grams of fat is almost nothing...

Check out this site that compares the nutritional information of a serious burger versus a salad at mcdonalds, burger king, wendy's, and taco bell.

Wendy's: mandarin chicken salad has significantly more fat (26 grams worth), calories, sodium, carbs and sugar than a double-stack quarter pounder.

Taco bell fiesta salad: 840 calories, 45 grams of fat, 80 g of carbs, 1780 mg of sodium...

... and so on.

Seriously, take a look. The salads are dupes. This is without talking about the 30 space-words they use as ingredients in the dressings. These are not good fats, and they're not good sources of nutrition. Plus, all the food is fake. It's tasty, but it's not diet food, and it isn't healthy.
The Myth Of Salads: Why Why Fast Food Salads Aren't Necessarily Going To Help You Lose Weight

[jrsg]

Awwwh, 840 calories in a salad! That is disgusting! Wow! And 45 gram of fat!

I feel like watching "Supersize Me" again... That movie really opened my eyes to all this.

Ewww... I shutter just thinking about this stuff.

[linnealand]

Hold your horses. While there are people who talk about caffeine being a possible barrier to weight loss, the jury is out when it comes to coffee research and health. SOME coffee is actually good for you. And as for the caffeine thing, I would only drop it if she really hits a plateau and can't find another way out.

Some people are really, really attached to their coffee. It's a very personal thing to them. I think the sugar is too much. If anything, she should be reducing the amount of sugar to one lump or nothing. When someone goes on a diet, they have to change all kinds of things in their lives, and they have to eliminate a ton of things that used to give them comfort emotionally. I worry that if you go down too hard on this one, she might get very frustrated. Is she drinking a ton of it?

Also, if she decides that she doesn't want to be a coffee person anymore, she will have to do it gradually. Your body can freak out from caffeine withdrawal (thing headaches, mood swings... ). If she doesn't want to quit her coffee, I do not think it means that she's not dedicated to losing weight. She has to pick her battles, and she has to be comfortable with them to stick with it.

Of course, I'm talking about normal coffee, not those chocolate and vanilla frappa-drinks with the syrups and the whipped cream. That's not coffee... it's a big fast food style dessert.

I am a coffee drinker. I don't use a lot of sugar in it. I'm really slender, and I'm not one of those "born to be skinny" people. You don't have to become a maniac about things... this is change for the rest of her life, so give her some time to get adjusted. My opinion. I'll stick up for her coffee. :)

[Ging1994]

Depending on her height it may be important for her to loose weight for health reasons and to support her I would eat healthy with her and offer to go on bike rides or some other form of exersise and just let her know you'll support her no matter what