[crazieash143]

Okay so I have been with my boyfriend for a year now.. im 18 years old and he is 22. He has a child that just turned three and the mother is two-faced. At the beginning of our relationship she didn't get the concept about him being in love with another worman and she was no longer in the picture like that, just as the mother. We have constantly argued and she used to tell me that he will always have her heart and I'm just hear for his convience and things like that, well this being my first real relationship as brought me to many questions. My boyfriend and I get along awesome its like we were meant for each other and being this short of time we have helped each other through so many things. The only thing we ever fight about is his baby's mother. I am a very understanding person and does not like to argue but there's a point in time when I feel like I have to stand up to myself. With her being 23 its very hard, I would think someone of that age would be able to act a lot more mature than I am but she doesn't. She used to call him for no reason and to me it seemed like it was just an excuse to call but she would end up saying something about the kid. My boyfriend finally said something as she was calling every other day or so. She has gotten a lot better but she started calling his work instead of his cell phone. Well she never listened to him when he told her not to call his work so I said something the last time she called. Well you know this started an argument and I was very polite about it, he works in at a job that is constant work (running a printing press) and can't really get phone calls unless an emergency. But anyway since then we got into an argument and ended it with me saying that this isn't going to its not something that the 3 year old needs to hear or just for the fact of it. She has a boyfriend but still tries to get in our relationship. My main point is that yesterday my boyfriend and I took his child home and she has been staying out like 10 extra minutes from her hosue and her new boyfriends and with gas prices high it isn't very ethical. So my boyfriend made the statement he wasn't going to keep bringing him out here and she started laughing asking why and I simply said it's a waste of gas and lord knows all hell broke loose. She started screaming and literally acting like she was going to fight me. This woman is 23 years old talking to me, an 18 year old, and I had no idea what to do. The child was right there and that was so inappropriate and she then told my boyfriend that I am not to be with him when he brings his child home. Where does she have that right to tell us what to do.. Can someone just help me with this situation I love my boyfriend to death but its every time she's involved we end up arguing and that's just not us. Please help.

[crazieash143]

I know this is long but please someone give me some advice I'm really in need of it!

[PixieMama]

You guys need some sort of conflict mediation. And no, never assume that just because someone is a certain age means they are more or less mature then you think they might be. "Act your age" doesn't really hold up when a number doesn't act any certain way. I've met 18 year olds who were very mature, meanwhile I know a 54 year old on par with a 13 year old. Literally.

The baby's mama needs to cool off your relationship but you have to accept the fact that she's probably always going to have a grudge against you, especially if she still has feelings for your boyfriend. They have a child together so in some way, they will always have some interaction between them. Maybe your boyfriend can talk to his ex about acting civil towards you. She doesn't have to like you or befriend you, but I don't think acting civil is asking too much. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THERE IS A CHILD INVOLVED HERE! Just as you need to accept the fact that she's always going to be in his life, she needs to accept that he's with you and loves you and you will be spending time with her child, so it is in her best interest to at least call a truce.

[Mario3]

You should really consider taping her (you and your boyfriend's own little insurance in case she gets really crazy). I've seen this on judge joe. If you have a record of how crazy she is, you're set.

[crazieash143]

Right and I committed to this relationship knowing that she will be in his life until the child is 18 and knowing there will be jealousy and I really don't think I have handled any of the situations I have come across with her in complete disorder. She hasn't been crazy until about a month ago and I still haven't figured out why. What should I do about the whole I am not allowed to go with him.. she can't have any say in what my boyfriend and I do correct? We don't even drop him off at her house so there is no disrespect in me showing up again. I just don't want to put my boyfriend in that situation we are here to make each others life happy and simple not to cause problems.