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I believe it may be a problem with both poor parenting and schooling. So many people (not everyone, but a lot) seem to let their kids get away with anything they want to do just so they can be "friends" and there is no respect in the household. Now, don't get me wrong, my nine-year-old is my best friend. But, at the same time, he also knows to respect me in what I tell him to do. Same way with school--I see teachers who either let kids do anything they want or they don't know how to get kids' respect. I think there should be a psychology class required on "how to get respect of others" for anyone who is going to be a teacher.
Many problems but not all are indeed due to poor or neglectful parenting. In America it seems that the parents are more concerned with appearing wealthy than living within their means and spending time with their kids. This puts a great deal of stress on the parents who are laden with debt, work long hours accordingly and now have unruly children due to lack of discipline and love. Keeping up with the Joneses and addiction to consumerism is keeping the parents on the wrong path.
Poor parenting is a sickening trend among many; I've seen mothers who would rather take her martial arts' friends out to dinner with her college grant money than buy her kids' new shoes, without holes in them. Parents (and non) make it a concious choice to spend on the wrong thing, ignore the needs of their children and make the wrong things a priority. then rely on other family members to take up the slack. Fortunately, some of these kids see the error in their parents' ways and grow up learning to stray far away from they've seen or have been through. Some of these parent's truly may need help to get on track, and they should be willing to accept it; then some of them just think they know it all, and don't care.
The children should be listened to more, pressured less and trusted to tell the truth. Proper investigation into mistreatment should be strict AND thorough AND prompt; none of this, "Well the social worker is on vacation, so in 12 days we will.......blah blah blah!"
Support groups are nil and most aren't made for the 'semi' bad mistreatment....no grey area, its either bad or good.
I have a cousin who does everything a mother shouldn't do. She has spent the last 7 years in college just to collect grant money, food stamps, health insurance and has refused every time my family and I have found steady, guaranteed work. She was denied funding for another year because she had already been in so long, without so much as a degree in General Studies (and only got it by the skin of her teeth). When her twin boys needed new shoes, winter coats, clothes for school and supplies did she ever bother to put away money for it?
No, it was her family that had to take care of her misdoings. She recieved at LEAST $4500 at the start of each semester, and was broke less than two weeks later. Of course, she payed her rent ahead, car insurance and her own tuition....but would show up at places with a new iPod, new clothes, shoes and purses for herself and tell us all about how she would treat friends to very pricey restuarants. Right now she is a pizza delivery driver, which is great, she has a job now but has not stopped her ways of spending. She is moving her and her boys back and forth across the county, living with friends because she cannot save a check or two for rent to a very nice place we found for her, to which she said, "It only has two bedrooms, it isn't nice enough and has no room for MY stuff."
She has Herpes and doesn't tell her numerous partners. And I do mean numerous.
I have been urged not to knock sense into her, but as a mother I can't just sit back and watch that happen.
Well, I think bad parenting can leak over into the workplace, which can affect business, then the consumer and so on. Children may grow up thinking certain behaviors and actions are proper when they are not, and end up learning the hard way.
Bad parenting, in my opinion, can lead to things such as low self-esteem, low intelligence, and harsh criminal activity. Furthermore, it leads to many other things-laziness, non-motivation...etc.
I believe bad parenting has effected today's society in a big way, look at all the rapists, diseases, murders, con artists...etc-all because of insufficient upbringing and education from parents and schools.
Children are our future always and I believe that if bad parenting/education continues to grow (as it seems to have been doing already) then that will eventually be the end of our world.
Not to sound out of touch or old but as I remember it, My wife and I sat down and talked when we got pregnant, about how we where gong about raising this child. We both worked and were fairly happy in what we were doing. She wanted to be there while our son was young and see him thru school and be there when he came home. That was a relief as the other alternative was a baby sitter. ( not a lot of child care back then). We had to rearrange the way we lived and where we lived as we went from two to one income. 30 years later we see the wisdom of those sacrifices now, just watching my kids and grand kids growing happy and strong was worth not having the big house in the burbs or new car, or other entrapment's of the American dream. Debt yes, but not overwhelming. The positive is we were there and knew everyone our children were in contact with from school, to friends. ( trust me they where not angels, but active, very active) and if I seem prideful, I am as both of mine are hard working well adjusted and very independent and seem to handle what life throws at them, no drugs, great well-raised kids. Yes I swell with pride. Don't get me wrong, people make their own choices but, The way I see the youngsters jumping into debt so early and deeply puts a lot of pressure on the family unit to succeed, at the expense of that quality time with each other. If you are not there to influence and guide as a parent then who is raising your children? Who do they talk to? who do they listen to? Material things are great, but if you trust the school system to teach your children what they need to know to survive and prosper, maybe you should look at it a little more closely and be more involved in the time your children are growing up. It goes by quicker than you think and once its gone....................too late for regrets.
I think there is a bigger picture to be viewed here about changes---- in society and in parenting both. Parenting has changed because people have changed. It used to be that people kept more to themselves as individuals-- fifty years ago or more. Emotions were viewed as very private things and restraint was a big part of who they were as people. Not healthy but certainly more civilised within a family and within society too. Now we are collectively letting loose of those restraints (the most noticable loosening occurred in the 60's here in the US) and learning how to handle the incumbunt freedom and naturally swinging the pendulum too far the other way -- to disasterous results too.
So individual emotions tend to rule the day and with much havoc-producing effect too LOL. Individual concerns, like the sort Karma mentions, come first and not just addiction to consumerism either. Its only natural that we are handling this badly, its still so new. This has impacted society greatly (crime is only the beginning of what is impacted - frankly everything is). This new freedom is spreading the havoc culturally too. BUT it may be a necessary step on the way to better things. I consider it no accident that we are socially, economically, spiritually entering into the Age of Information-- a significant thing really! This may allow ourselve to eventually temper the individual "I wanna's" with the needs of the group, ie, family, neighborhood, city, culture, nation, etc. But its going to take a while... maybe even a long while before a great many people learn that while freedom is a good thing, because we are all in the boat together (ie planet Earth) it must come with conscience too, conscience about others and how we impact each other. Then we will be better able to solve what is going wrong. Its like some philosopher (who I can't remember) said: you cannot solve today's problems with today's mind, since it was today's mind that created them.
rosserk agrees: I agree and thanks for the prompt response but what problems does poor parenting lead to in society any ideas?
I do have an answer on this, but I wanted to go more into the details of my previous post. I believe that even children with poor parenting can still become upstanding individuals. What they need is a decent roll model. Children look to the influencial adult in their lives and mold their own personalities around that. I hate to say it, because I love computers, but I believe the internet has made us all somewhat "closed out" from each other also. There has always been bad parenting and bad teachers, but now we are so closed off from each other, we are also running out of good role models. I mean, sometimes I would rather e mail someone then stop by their house or call them on the phone even if they live across the street just because it's more convienent.
As far as the society goes, we are already beginning to see the signs for that. The average FICO credit score has dropped by a huge margin in the past 5 years according to the NADA. If people don't have respect for creditors, they just don't pay their bills. Without respectful individuals in this world, you will see a rapid decline in the economy as the bankruptcy and repossession rates go up, causing interest rates to rise as the banks and federal reserve will be at a higher risk. Crime will go up as individuals begin selling more drugs to make money. Murder rates will rise. Riots could break out. The country's economy will eventually hemorrage. Now, some of you think I may be taking this a little too far, but I is something that I happen to care a lot about. Respect and caring for others is the base of what all people need--it starts at home. If children can't learn it from home, sometimes they get it from other roll models in their life. But, they have to get it from somewhere to become upstanding adults.
The age old question........... Genes or environment ? I have seen poor( not money) parents have upstanding children and I do agree that there seems to be much more poor parents skills, BUT I have also seem upstanding parents have children who commit crimes and do drugs ect.
I don't have an answer , if I did I would write a book and make a million dollars.
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