Ok friends, heres another question for you. Is it normal for a two year old to not be sleeping through the night? My son has basically never slept through the night. there will be an occasional night that he does, but for the most part, he wakes up several times a night. I am tempted to just let him cry, but we live in an apartment complex and the walls are very thin. and he has got a set of pipes. He has always fought sleep, even from just a few months old. He has always hated naps and fights them. so finally i decided it was getting to hard to walk with him to put him down for a nap, and that i would let him go without. he did fine the first time and slept through the night. but the last couple times i have tried, he would stay up until like 330 pm and then fall asleep and i oculdnt get him to stay up. and ofcourse then he wouldnt want to go to sleep, and he wakes up early. Does anyone have ideas about what I can do to help him (and us) sleep through the night? or is this perfectly normal?

buggage

any advice?

J_9

Buggage, what is his normal bedtime routine?

Fr_Chuck

Let me see, if there is no medical problem (consult with your doctor) assuming you are not putting him to bed at 5 pm he should normally be sleeping though the night but this is learned and it appears what he has learned is that if he crys, he gets attention and someone to play with,

So what he needs to learn is night, you sleep, and day time you get attention. Most babies learn this by being laid down and crying till they learn no one is picking them up.

curlybenswife

Sounds like a good routine is needed you need to set yourself a goal and stick to it.
Took us about 3 weeks to get millie into a proper routine of dinner, play, bath, then bed and bed is around 8pm and she will be there till 9am next morning.
Go look through ivillage.com and talk to the mums in the same boat you will find no end of support there.

buggage

He goes to bed at 9 every night. He gets a two hour nap every day around 1, because he can't stay awake all day long yet. And I have a hard time just letting him sit there and scream at night, because of the fact that we are in an apartment complex. Some nights he is really good, and other nights, it just seems I can't get him to stay asleep.

Fr_Chuck

I know it is hard, but we all do it, normally when they are a few months old, and then it holds fair, but all kids have thier own clocks and and there are even old "wives" tells on methods of making them sleep all night.
Some very silly.

try cutting the nate shorter perhaps, keeping him up latter perhaps

And in the end, just keep getting up with him, till he is older and you can just talk to him where he will understand more and if he gets up you just tell him to go back to sleep.

With thin walls, don't you think him starting to cry, you getting up and what ever you do when you are up, is not making them noise also.

And in the end, if it solves my problem, tell your neighbors what the issue is and that you will be doing it starting a date, and deal with what you have to deal with.

And I of course don't mean just ignore him, you do go in tell him you love him, tuck him back in and then let him cry. ( now this is not the answer for all, and does not always work for all. Some people have used sounds in the room, or other things that may help.

curlybenswife

Most definitely cut the 2 hour nap to a 1 hour and try say half an hour of chill out time in the morning too, i.e you BOTH sit down read a book have some juice and a snack ( a healthy one not chocolate).
There are many things you can try at night, firstly stop picking him up just sit beside him and hush and as the time moves on gradually distance your self and dont make eye contact because as soon as you do its game over and they have won.
very occasionally we will take madam into bed with us but as soon as she is sleepy or shows signs of dropping off she goes back into her own bed im not gonna be beholden to a 1 year old she needs to know bed means bed not play time and she is now 99% of the time as good as gold.
We all need wind down time and quiet time it helps our minds relax, you also need to find a way of making sure you stay as calm as possible as they pick up on your mood and react on it.
All easier said than done but its doable there isnt a mum in the world that isnt going or gone through the same.