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Progress was made the first year of our marriage. There was a good relationship between my stepson and myself. My wife stepped in and started to baby him again, because I think she saw him starting to mature. She still does anf the relationship between my stepson and I has gone downhill pretty quick. It is now causing marital problems as well! When confronted about it, she doesn't want to talk about it. They are both loved very much, but the situation is gettin harder to deal with. I just want him to learn respect and responsibility as he is nearing adulthood. Right now she is back to waiting on him hand and foot. All he has to do is be here. She now does everything for him. She even puts his socks on for him at 5:30 in the morning! Am I looking at something wrong??
My stepson loves racing. About four weeks ago my stepson and my grandson broke there collar bones opposite ends of the race track at the same time. Both are driving us crazy to go back racing. As far as more to the story than I have said not so much. I pride myself and my company on honesty. If I have left something out please let me know ! Iam trying very hard to do the right things.
We talk about every 2 weeks or so. When he would come to the races we would talk every week. Iam not judging any one but his father lives with his mom and dad. My stepsons grand parent are real nice. There are times my stepson does not want to go with his dad on some fridays and this up sets me a little but my wife will tell a little white lie to get my stepson out of going?? Thats not proper teaching. But I keep my mouth shut !!
I have tried to talk to my stepsons father I really do not have a clue how to explain it but here goes --- Nice guy but one sandwich shy of a happy meal ... Sorry !! See I told you ..
Don, I really think that you may just need to back off for a little while.
Clearly there is a reason why your wife is overprotective of her son, but she ain't willing to talk about it - yet. Who knows, it may be to do with his biological dad.
It's her relationship with her son, and there isn't much that you can do, so it may be wise to be your usual supportive self and just let them be. He'll get sick of the over-mothering soon enough.
I can tell you from personal experience that being a step-parent is often a joyless experience - and you get little credit for what you contribute.
That's partly what's at issue here. You care about your step-son, you're experienced with kids, you can sense that the dynamic is dysfunctional and you want to 'fix' it.
Sometimes there are things that we can't fix - or not immediately, anyway. Best to let the dynamic between mother, son and father play out without too much interference from you.
Thank you. Ive decided to give help when needed and best of all keep my mouth shut. As far as joyless I have had a lot of rewards from my stepson. He is trying to grow up but he will figure it out. It kind of reminds me of my childhood. I was 27 before I gave my dad credit for having a brain. Iam not good with words -- nothing ment toward my dad. Thanks
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