How do you deal with parents that have a negative impact on you?

All they do is show their disappointment. Compare me to different people and tell me I'm no good. Worse than all these people. They manage to do all these things... what have you achieved? Nothing. You such a waste. and so on. That is one parent. I hate you. Die.

Other parent is a source of weakness. Says this is not going to get any better. Put up with things. Cant talk, I am just an annoyance. Used to care about this parent... don't think I do anymore. Just given up.

My very existence is not wanted or a disappointment. Anything I do is a futile waste of effort now. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. At least if they don't speak to me I might start to feel a little better. Advice?

ISneezeFunny

...how old are you?

DMA

21

ISneezeFunny

is it possible to move out? Why do they tell you that you're useless? Granted, yes, parents should always support their children...but sometimes, when the child is older, doesn't have a job, and is just sitting around at home, I can see why parents would constantly complain.

To say that you hate one of your parents and you wish death upon them...speaks volumes about your maturity. Try speaking to your parents and see what the problem is. Of course, if there's abuse (physical or verbal) going on, then you need to report to the proper authorities.

I feel that the easiest solution would be to talk to your parents...and if that doesn't work, move out.

mafiaangel180

Do whatever it is you have to do in order to get on your feet, and then move out asap! The less you are under their thumb, the happier you will be. This way, you will also salvage what relationship you have left with them.

DMA

Been going on for quite a while. Since I was quite young. Sometimes I wish I would just die... sometimes wish that he would just die.

I would move out if I could afford it. Really need a partner to go halves with. No money to rent either. Can't even get a job stacking shelves. I fail.

mafiaangel180

I know a girl who makes minimum wage part-time just so she could have her own place. Even if it means eating nothing but Ramen Noodles and saltines. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get by.

You can't have a defeatist attitude, or you won't get anywhere. What you gotta do is apply at all the places you can imagine. The more you apply, the more likely you are to get a job. I honestly don't know how to respond about the whole "dying" thing. I know you are pretty jacked about how you think you are treated. But the only way to fix that is to obey the house rules until you can get your own place.

JBeaucaire

"The dam has broken and you can't sleep under the bridge or you will drown."
"But I like it here under the bridge"
"Get out from under the bridge or you will die"
"I'm used to it here, it's what I know..."
"Get out from under the bridge or you will die"
"But it's expensive to..."
"Get out from under the bridge or you will die"
"Even if I do come out, I need to come back to..."
"STAY out from under the bridge or you will die"

It's time. You owe these people nothing. They've raised you, so be grateful and get out. They have come to the end of their tolerance for you and you will drown you if you stay.

They're doing you a favor. Even mother birds kick their babies out of the nest so they HAVE to fly. My wife's parents gave her $100 and wished her well at school on her 18th birthday, making it clear she was moving out. I wish your parents were mature enough to do THAT instead of belittling you emotionally, but people are who they are.

Get out, today. You won't come up a solution to your needs until they are immediate. You don't realize it fully yet, but those needs have been immediate for a long time. Get out now and you may retain a small measure of appreciation for what your parents did for you raising you. It's almost gone now, get out immediately.

"Get out from under the bridge or you will die"